Dragonvictory Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 I'm new here, literally I just made an account. I have no one to talk to about anything except my significant other, and when I want to talk about him I have no one. I'm engaged to my middle school sweetheart and have been for 7 yrs. I really want a ring, I've hinted at it and I've been obvious about; sending pictures, planning mall trips, giving him my friends number who is willing to 'help' him on this mission. He says ok to everything but does nothing in the end. For the past few years every Valentines day, birthday, and Christmas I asked for a ring. Nothing major like a diamond ring, a birthstone is more my taste and our price range. He has my ring on his ring finger, and he lost my class ring years ago. Wanting a ring was a tease at first but now it's real and I just don't understand why not. I'd be ok without it if I understood why. His gifts are usually pretty bad when he spends money, always last minute and odd. I got those plastic bubbles one year, the ones where you can stab and they don't pop, I get the typical teddy bear, I got a lovely handmade keepsake box that he didn't even make, his friends mom made it. Terrible gifts but it was the thought and ultimately his honesty that made it ok. But I'm making it easy, I'm providing the bridges he just needs to use them. He just can't plan ahead...unless it's the damn Ipod, PS3 or most recently PS4, which is more expensive than the ring I actually want. He can save for that but not me. And honestly nothing will really change if I get a ring; I'll be damn happy, years of built up insecurity about my worth in his eyes (and what he's willing to do for me) will be gone but nothing in our day to day interaction will significantly change, and we wont break up over a ring-least not this time around. (Ask me when I'm 35, and still have no ring. ha) I've never been materialistic so I'm trying to stay that way but this isn't simply because I want it, it means something more to me beyond the traditional 'this woman is taken'. I feel this is an issue, am I wrong? Is it him or me? How to I take care of this? Don't know if it matters but we're both 25 and have a 2 year old daughter.
Eivuwan Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 I think the bigger issue is that you have no one else but him to talk to. This makes you depend way too much on him emotionally.
d0nnivain Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 Have you been together 7 years or engaged for 7 years. If you have been engaged for 7 years not only do I think you aren't getting a ring, I really doubt you are getting a wedding / marriage. I think you also need to tell him straight up. I want a ring. It doesn't have be anything huge or expensive but it's an important symbol to me. You need to find out exactly why he won't get you one.
TigerCub Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 He's not getting you the ring because he knows that not getting it for you will have no consequences. He already has you, you gave him a kid, you're together, and even if this ring thing is bothering you, so what, you just keep complaining and begging for a ring and he'll just keep ignoring...because it will not go past that. This guy is selfish and super CHEAP...but you have put up with it all along. I understand that you're young and all...but generally if one is engaged for 7 years and there is no marriage - there won't ever be a marriage. Also when he proposed to you - why was there no ring? Did he propose at all or just say something like " one day we're gonna get married"? I'm sorry op, but you have been putting up with accepting crap ( bubble wrap - really?) And that just shows him that you don't think you deserve anything better. 1
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