purplemania Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 I'm in my second year of college. My friend recently set me up on a blind date with this guy from her French class. We texted for about a week before we were supposed to meet up, and we had pretty extensive, free-flowing conversations. Well I finally went on my date last Friday. The beginning was kind of awkward. We were just having dinner and trying to make small talk. But then we went for a walk and we passed by some places he would visit, so he'd tell me about them, and I really liked that because he wasn't just telling me who he was; he was showing me. It felt genuine all of a sudden. At one point, he asked "Why are we walking so fast?", so we slowed down and we actually crossed a pretty hefty distance. (I thought the date would last 2 hours but it lasted about 5!) I know I've hit a comfort zone with my date when we start lightly cussing around each other. At one point, we sat down by a bench in front of a small downtown concert area, and we kept talking. I noticed he was sitting really close to me, and I could tell he was at ease. There were no awkward silences at any point. And when we were about to part, he said "Um, so would you be down to hang out again sometime?", to which I replied "Totally!" We hugged and parted. That same night, he found me on Facebook and sent me some music links he was telling me about. We texted for the entire weekend. And then. All of a sudden. He just stopped in a middle of a conversation and did not respond for 4 days. On Day 5, I got fed up and decided that I wasn't going to play games. I basically just texted him saying "Hey! I have to go see a film for one of my classes. I was wondering if you wanted to come?" I figured this yes-or-no question would help me stop tormenting myself. At first he answered by saying "I'm really down But problem is, I saw that movie already" and then I decided to be somewhat confident and ask him "Well, would you want to see it again?" to which he reluctantly, but finally agreed. Afterwards I replied "Awesome! Can't wait :)", and he said "Don't get too excited now." His replies made me see red for some reason. If I was into somebody, I would have never even mentioned having seen a certain movie, even if I did. And his "don't get excited" just sounds like a "It's not going to work out anyway" Am I overanalyzing this? I just have a bad gut feeling that he lost interest after the first date.
Mascara Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 No you're not overanalysing - he's lost interest. And more importantly, he's acting a bit douchey with it. Best thing you can do now in light of the above? Text him and say "hey! So a friend of mine hasn't seen that movie, so I think I'll go with them instead. Talk soon" And then you go darker than a dark thing. 3
Mascara Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 Nothing kind about it. It's dripping with sweet venom if she does it right 2
Author purplemania Posted November 9, 2013 Author Posted November 9, 2013 Thank you both for your insight. Like I said, I got a really bad gut-feeling but my three best-friends, the hopeless romantics, all urged me to give it a shot. "Maybe he's just playing hard-to-get" and "He still agreed to see a movie that he's already seen!!", so I listened to them instead of listening to my gut instinct. I think I'll probably just keep quiet, and if he doesn't text me back about the date, good riddance.
Uwaae Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 Why would you be upset about his honesty that he saw the movie already? I think "dont get excited" means that it was a pretty bad movie. Anyway, 4 days is a long time. You should also remember that you didnt do any contacting in 4 days either, so he might have the same thoughts about you. Seems like youre over-analyzing, and if you were like that on the date, I wouldnt be too enthusiastic to see you 1
Author purplemania Posted November 9, 2013 Author Posted November 9, 2013 I second everything you said...except for that last part. That seems a little harsh. But hey. OP, be careful to not jump to conclusions over nothing. The fact that the first two responses to your situation were basically "screw that guy give him the silent treatment" over seemingly perceived slights...that's not a great thing. Text is a crappy form of communication. He could have easily been saying "don't get excited, it's not that good of a movie" (hence his reluctance to see it again), or he could have just been teasing you. When women jump to such conclusions as "BLAAARGH he's being such an ******* time to make him suffer", it doesn't inspire much hope for men...a single text is the difference between a potential date and getting the silent treatment. Or worse. Go easy, I guess is my point. Also pick up the damned phone and call someone if you're worried about it. Really. Well, does it seem at least fair to let him contact me on the day of the date to get all the details? I did so last time. And if he doesn't bring it up, then I think that would be a good indicator as to his level of interest... I'm very iffy about the situation as of now.
Uwaae Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 I'm going to go out on a limb and say that YOU should contact him on the day of the date. Tell him where and what time
Author purplemania Posted November 10, 2013 Author Posted November 10, 2013 I'm going to go out on a limb and say that YOU should contact him on the day of the date. Tell him where and what time I'm open to all insight, but could you please tell me why you think so.
myothernic2 Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 Why would you be upset about his honesty that he saw the movie already? I think "dont get excited" means that it was a pretty bad movie. Anyway, 4 days is a long time. You should also remember that you didnt do any contacting in 4 days either, so he might have the same thoughts about you. Seems like youre over-analyzing, and if you were like that on the date, I wouldnt be too enthusiastic to see you Did you miss when she said "And then. All of a sudden. He just stopped in a middle of a conversation and did not respond for 4 days."? You should follow your gut OP.. 1
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