From good to ugly

[LMB]

This is more of a vent since I know the right thing to do is to just move on but of course it's easier said then to do. My brother passed away over the summer and that has kind of left me mentally unstable. My now ex boyfriend understood that and accepted it well. As I said I was and still am unstable, which lead to me getting so angry at my boyfriend that I kept ending it with him. Only for me to regret it and us getting back together and him knowing my situation.

 

Well the lastest time that I got angry was over a completely stupid situation of him wanting to spend more time with his friends then me. I get this but after everything that has happen I just didn't feel like he cared about me or wanted to be with me. Like usual I regretted it and wanted him back. But I was just shut down by him. He said he needed time. And is tired of the breaking up and getting back together pattern. I understand so I let him go his separate way. He said he was going to think over the weekend but he is pretty sure he wants to be with me. I ran into him two other times on my college campus in which both times he ignored me. He was with our friends and told our friends that he will not make a final decision until tuesday. This was all find but I was annoyed he did ignore me.

 

Then it kind of got ugly after that day. I went out to my truck (once again on campus) to see him sitting there with another girl which he proceeds to ignore me.... Ok this is no biggy. Then I was walking back pass him where to me it looked like he put his arm around the other girl and smirked at me (he later told he did not do such a thing). So I went to my room, and I talked to my friend about it, which she proceeds to text my ex saying if he already knows his decision he needs to come and tell me in person. He gave no response to her.

 

Me and my friends where then out in the parking lot where my ex comes walking out of his dorm building with the same girl and another girl. He saw me and tried to completely bypass me and my friends who are also his friends. He still had to walk in front of me thou, at a farther distance. At this time I felt hurt and was not going to let him parade around in front of me with other girls. So I felt the need to stand up for myself and said a few choice words to him. In which he shook his head and kept walking with the girls. I then just wanted out move on from him and get all my emotions out to him. In which he responded that he was not going to consider getting back with me since I proved to him that day. So I went on texting till I got every ounce of anger and hurt out. And I finished with a niceish text about how much I did care for him.

 

I stopped texting him after that and didn't hear from him and I was going home for the weekend. Then my friend called me and told me she saw my ex and said some things to him, in which he got to see how I saw it from my point of view. That he was just playing me while he was talking to other girls. In which he proceeded to say that he felt like a dick.

 

I know I push him away, and I realized that i need to get my mental state back to normal before I try to date again. But I didn't need to deal with his bull crap while i'm still dealing with the death of my brother. That's what anger me the most,

[me85]

You absolutely did not need that after going through the loss of your brother. I'm so sorry for your loss and your heartache. Maybe you two need time apart? Or maybe you should try to sit down with a solid heart to heart so he really knows how much you care & to clear the air because I think you need his companionship and he needs yours. No games, as they lead to resentment. So be clear that he cannot talk to other girls just to hurt you because I'm sure you would never do that to him out of love and respect.