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Infatuation to friendship...if someone could clarify...


Nikki Sahagin

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Nikki Sahagin

BRIEF RECAP:

Started seeing a guy in the UK in August. We spoke as friends for 2 months. Bonded fast as we told each other all our problems/heartbreaks/life stories. Quick friendship developed I believe mutually, as well as strong attraction.

 

Met in October and began dating/having a sexual relationship. Had 'the talk' and he explained to me he was confused about what he wanted but wasn't sure he wanted a long term relationship right now. I didn't feel any 'closure' from this as all I got was 'I'm confused, I'm unsure, I don't know'.

 

We 'decided' that we wanted to remain friends because I personally really enjoyed our conversations PRIOR to the sex/dating and I would like to still talk with him. However, after a very brief FB conversation in October, we haven't spoken since.

 

I have been tempted to reach out in a friendly way but I feel like it should be him to do so, as I initiated our last (and only) 'friend' convo.

 

Although it is very possible that he no longer wishes to maintain a friendship, he did say he wanted to, and I am often tempted to speak to him. I stop because my pride/ego tells me 'NO, it should be him'.

 

When I ask women what I should do they all say just send him a message. I asked my brother for a male opinion and he said, 'The ball is in his court. See what he does with it'.

 

The point is, I think about talking to him at least once each day. I don't want to let this friendship go, and I feel quite anxious/stressed at the thought that if I/he don't speak soon, it will fizzle away.

 

BUT, as my brother said, I wonder if the ball is in his court to instigate a conversation and I should leave him to do so?

 

Would it really hurt for me to just send a friendly message?

 

I'm unsure. All I know is this rattles around in my brain at least once a day.

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Not in his late 5Os is he?

 

Sounds very similar to my ex and the way he operates... :/

 

I'd say if he was 'confused' and not really bothering to make an effort with contacting you then forget about him.

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