To break or not to break

[Pepuchin]

Hi all,

I am in this dilemma since some time ago. I need your help because I am very confused.

I met this girl... well 30 yo lady almost a year ago. She has a teenager kid (single mom) and we are living together for almost 5 months.

The relationship was very nice in the beginning, no complains, sex, everything... During all this time, her son and I became really good friends and partners. I know he doesn't see me as a father but it is not that far from that either. So, he is definitely not a problem, on the other hand he is lie a bond in the relationship.

The problem is that I am getting really tired of the way she treats me. She is very cold... no affection, no much intimacy, no romantic details... she became very, very relaxed with the way she dresses... (she is not paying attention to herself). And practically her son and I share most of the times together without her.

She works very hard and is all the time "tired", sleepy and in pain (back, neck, shoulders.... I think because she over uses her body, at work)

I tried to talk to her about this many, many times and every time I mention the "unhappiness" in what we all are living, the only answer I hear is that we should split and move on.

Knowing that, I try to avoid to talk about it and be very understanding, but she got in a position that is "untouchable" and I am begging for her attention and love... not only to me but to her son too.

AS I told before I am very confused because I feel that I love them... I don't want to loose them but I the same time I don't like to live the way I am living, I am extremely affectionate (sometimes she asked me not to be that much hehe) and love sex too.... but "now" she doesn't.

Please help me, what should I do?

This morning I was rejected without no reason and that made me very upset, I didn't want to talk to her... and that is a very common reaction now, because I don't wan to say anything because I could say in the wrong way and ruin the relationship.

I will appreciate your suggestions.

Thanks

[tattoomytoe]

sounds like since you are not taking the hint to "move on" as she put it, so she is being unavaliable to you....maybe to push you away.

 

i would explain to her your feelings for her kid, and her...and ask if you can tell her boy your feelings for him....maybe she will not mind if you try to continue to a relationship with him.

 

it is much harder to separate when there is a child you have grown to care for is involved.

[Pepuchin]

tattoo, thaks for your reply,

Do you think that I should show her that I am willing to move on in my life and try to find someone else?

I already express them how much I feel and care for both of them.

Something that I forgot to tell is that she is very pesimistic about many things in the relationship. I mentioned to her counseling and she is not up to it.

What to do??

[tattoomytoe]

get out while you are still sane!

 

it will be hard to do, leaving her, but it sounds as if if things will only get worse while you are still there.

 

she needs to fix herself, you deserve someone to treat you as good as you do them.

 

Be selfish, she is.

[Pepuchin]

tattoo, that is a great advise, i know it is hard, very hard to accomplish it... I was reading about the "comfort zone" and I am sure we are there.

 

there are so many other details that i am thinking now about them I would like her to handle in a different way.

 

I know it sounds kind of pathetic, but I think I'll wait until "after xmas" to talk very seriously with her. How about that?

[tattoomytoe]

it is up to you really. after x-mas is thoughtful.....especially since the boy is around.

[alphamale]

Dear Asking4More:

 

Please read below thread on bad boys that I started , May answer some of your questions. This woman is using you and taking advantage of you and has now lost interest and respect for you.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t53288/