Ethereal Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 I'll admit it. I wanted my ex to see how much he was neglecting me and I hoped dumping him would make him realise that, because everything else I tried just wasn't working. I pulled him up on it twice and he kept saying he would try to put more effort in. He didn't. It kept happening, and the week before I broke up with him I asked if he wanted to end it. He said "No no, of course not! I wasn't thinking that at all." But yet the neglect continued and I was really confused and upset all the time so I ended it myself... It was the hardest thing because I was crazy in love with this guy. I broke NC after 6 weeks trying to seek answers. At first he said he didn't want to waffle on and then he started ignoring my messages... I bet since I broke NC he thinks I want him back and can see right through me that I dumped him because I hoped he would 'change his ways'. Sigh. I feel silly and immature... A strong woman wouldn't have even bothered making contact. She would wait patiently for the right man to come along who would meet her needs. She wouldn't waste a minute writing a text or email to one who couldn't. Do these type of men just never change no matter who they are with? I hope it is the case that he's naturally the avoidant type and I'm the anxious type and therefore very incompatible. That will make me feel better I think... Because if he was to meet another woman and give her attention and shower her with gifts and affection that he didn't with me, I would feel like crap.
ponchsox Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 You dumped him because he neglected you. Why would you worry about him now? Best to move on and avoid contact. 1
strive Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 It didn't work because you were playing a game. Who knows if they change or not. Maybe he'll find the love of his life in his next RS and give HER everything YOU dreamed of. Stop fixating on him and let him move on. As should you.
im_thedude Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 You should not dump someone for ANY reason other than not wanting to be in a relationship with them anymore. You don't play games like that.He neglected you, it's time to take the blinders off and reevaluate what is so great about this person. If he didn't want to waffle on or fight for you, chances are he was simply waiting for you to end it all alongDon't worry about this type of man or that type of man. Just move forward, find happiness for yourself first, and eventually someone new will come along. The best you can do is hope you learned something from this past relationship and be happier in the future!
Riou Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 Can you elaborate more about the neglect?Like what everyone said,you don't dump someone to make them see the light.
xUnknown Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 You should not dump someone for ANY reason other than not wanting to be in a relationship with them anymore. You don't play games like that.He neglected you, it's time to take the blinders off and reevaluate what is so great about this person. If he didn't want to waffle on or fight for you, chances are he was simply waiting for you to end it all alongDon't worry about this type of man or that type of man. Just move forward, find happiness for yourself first, and eventually someone new will come along. The best you can do is hope you learned something from this past relationship and be happier in the future! I'm going through this too. I was doing everything I can and putting in so much effort and it wasn't enough. Stuck with it, she ended up ending it with me because she knew I was going to bust my ass working on fixing us...in the end she had to end it because I'm not a quitter. I needed to see this post. The past few days have been rough for me. Wanted to break NC many times. 1
d0nnivain Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 they change & become attentive when they meet the woman who inspires them to do so. You were not her. Reverse psychology doesn't work in these settings. For al you know he was pulling away so you would dump him, thereby saving him the effort & the guilt over being the bad guy.
Simon Phoenix Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 Never dump someone to elicit a certain response. I know that's been said, but that's some manipulative sh*t right there. When you dump, you are saying that it's time to move on.
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