Locust Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 I totally agree with you said. I will admit I'm not a good looking guy and my standards are low. Even the average looking women want a hot looking guy. This is my main reason why I looking for love overseas.
FitChick Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 From my understanding, they don't care nearly as much about things like looks, height, and status. As long as you have money, they don't care about anything else. Don't expect a love match. Poor people are very practical because they have to be.
carhill Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 As long as you have money, they don't care about anything else. Don't expect a love match. Poor people are very practical because they have to be. I weeded those out by stating my intent to expat and make my living as a business owner in their country and showing them, practically, how that would go. Worked great. TBH, the ladies I dated, and the one I neared K1 status with, didn't want to leave, as their families and friends were there, but would if they got married to a western man. The latter lady was a doctor and her daughters and grandchildren lived nearby. Her main impetus for leaving was that she hated what the post-Soviet country had become, as she had been a doctor in the Soviet regime. She ultimately did leave, and married a man in the US. I kept up with her life and times through my interpreter, who was a mutual friend. I would strongly recommend to the OP to budget for in-country time, wherever he may choose to go; I rented an apartment for a month at a time and used that as a base of operations and used public transport (trains and aircraft) to get around the countries. I would not recommend any sort of keyboard Romeo pursuits with online contacts. These days the chances of scams are too high. 1
Locust Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 I weeded those out by stating my intent to expat and make my living as a business owner in their country and showing them, practically, how that would go. Worked great. TBH, the ladies I dated, and the one I neared K1 status with, didn't want to leave, as their families and friends were there, but would if they got married to a western man. The latter lady was a doctor and her daughters and grandchildren lived nearby. Her main impetus for leaving was that she hated what the post-Soviet country had become, as she had been a doctor in the Soviet regime. She ultimately did leave, and married a man in the US. I kept up with her life and times through my interpreter, who was a mutual friend. I would strongly recommend to the OP to budget for in-country time, wherever he may choose to go; I rented an apartment for a month at a time and used that as a base of operations and used public transport (trains and aircraft) to get around the countries. I would not recommend any sort of keyboard Romeo pursuits with online contacts. These days the chances of scams are too high. I heard good things about the elenas models dating site. It is a legit service that allows people outside of Russia meet Russian women. I guess he could give that a try. Once I graduate from college, I will sign for that site and see what I find.
carhill Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 I heard good things about the elenas models dating site. It is a legit service that allows people outside of Russia meet Russian women. I guess he could give that a try. Once I graduate from college, I will sign for that site and see what I find. If FSU/CIS is a focus, try RWL and RWD. RWD (russian women discussion) is more 'modern' but I developed my strategies on the old RWL e-mail list back in the mid-90's. EM gets good reviews on both but still there are issues to watch for. I use EM to make in-country contacts to suss out the most desirable areas to visit. My ancestry is there so there's a tangent interest in staying up to date. Lavalist and dating.ru also get good play. One nuance I've noted since getting a D is that the FSU/CIS ladies have tightened up their desired age range significantly. Back when I was over there regularly, 10-15 years older wasn't an issue; now it's backed off somewhat in general. Many women in my age group, and younger, are stating preference for contemporaries, meaning men their own age, and even younger. Times have changed. Also, since international travel and visas have become more affordable and easier to obtain, the 'lure' of the west, with our variable economy, has lessened, IMO. Most of my focus has been on Ukraine, Belarus, the Urals area of Russia and the 'Stan's'. Personally, I think my next trip will be an Orient Express run with some side trips. Westerners don't commonly get out that far and it's easy to immerse. Beautiful country, too.
Locust Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 If FSU/CIS is a focus, try RWL and RWD. RWD (russian women discussion) is more 'modern' but I developed my strategies on the old RWL e-mail list back in the mid-90's. EM gets good reviews on both but still there are issues to watch for. I use EM to make in-country contacts to suss out the most desirable areas to visit. My ancestry is there so there's a tangent interest in staying up to date. Lavalist and dating.ru also get good play. One nuance I've noted since getting a D is that the FSU/CIS ladies have tightened up their desired age range significantly. Back when I was over there regularly, 10-15 years older wasn't an issue; now it's backed off somewhat in general. Many women in my age group, and younger, are stating preference for contemporaries, meaning men their own age, and even younger. Times have changed. Also, since international travel and visas have become more affordable and easier to obtain, the 'lure' of the west, with our variable economy, has lessened, IMO. Most of my focus has been on Ukraine, Belarus, the Urals area of Russia and the 'Stan's'. Personally, I think my next trip will be an Orient Express run with some side trips. Westerners don't commonly get out that far and it's easy to immerse. Beautiful country, too. I heard of RWD but not RWL. I heard Ukraine is a better spot to find nice ladies. This is the beauty of the internet, can meet someone 1000 of miles away without leaving my chair. What is the acronym for RWL?
carhill Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 I heard of RWD but not RWL. I heard Ukraine is a better spot to find nice ladies. This is the beauty of the internet, can meet someone 1000 of miles away without leaving my chair. What is the acronym for RWL? RWL started at St. Johns University in the early 90's and is now on ICORS. It's not as active but some of the old timers, including longtime expats who actually live in Russia and Ukraine, still post. Google 'russian women's list'. The archives are the real treasure trove of practical in-country information. Having dealt with the local officials and police on numerous occasions, I found such information to be invaluable. It's a different world over there, even now, so a far cry from going from Jacksonville to Tampa (OP's locale). Tip: If one learns a smattering of the local language, and seeks out women who are not particularly fluent in English, greater variety can result. I found the dynamic to be quite interesting, as we each learned to communicate with the other in more than just words; this fits in quite well with romance, where all forms of communication are involved. Second tip: I found going during the holidays (eastern calendar) found a marked 'party' atmosphere and generosity belying traditional frugality of the times. Great way to socialize, in general.
CantonBound Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 I've also considered going foreign since girls don't like me here in the US. I was looking at more Asian or Latin American countries though. Still, I think it will be best to move there. I wouldn't want to bring the girl home and have her ditch me for someone better looking.
Locust Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 I've also considered going foreign since girls don't like me here in the US. I was looking at more Asian or Latin American countries though. Still, I think it will be best to move there. I wouldn't want to bring the girl home and have her ditch me for someone better looking. I feel you man, women here in the states want the best looking guy. If they want that then so beat it. But everyone in this world do want someone to love at some point. I'm one of those guys and AMerican women have not been got forgiving in that area. But going foreign sound like a good way to go. 1
Author ltjg45 Posted November 12, 2013 Author Posted November 12, 2013 I find it ironic the men here berate women for trying to find a high status guy. Yet Ive seen the OP's posting history and he is very focused on looks (as are 90% of men...most just cannot attain their ideal girl lookswise so they'll settle for an average one and lament they cannot get a hot girl) Oh please. While I have to be physically attracted to the women, what turns me off the most is their attitude, tattoos, whether they is a single mother, or they smoke. This is why I can't find any worth approaching yet, if I go by looks alone and nothing else, I would go out with any of the 15+ coworkers at my job.
amazingdrummer Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 Consider going to Korea or Japan, work as English teacher. The job is very easy, plenty of time for travel to surrounding countries, very easy to find a job, no experience required, good money also.
Sivok Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 (edited) 1) American women don't want the best looking guy. Take it from an American woman. 2) What do you have to offer that will make a woman decide to leave her family, friends and culture to be with you? Whatever that is, you have exactly the same to offer American women. Very much this. You seem to be externalizing your dating woes to the point of typecasting an entire country's women as undateable for you. My question is - have you looked internally? What makes you an attractive person that women would love to spend time with? What are aspects of yourself that will also make them sexually intrigued by you? If you can't answer that, then the work that needs to be done is going to be with you no matter what country you end up in - as you can't run away from yourself Edited November 13, 2013 by Sivok
Locust Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 Very much this. You seem to be externalizing your dating woes to the point of typecasting an entire country's women as undateable for you. My question is - have you looked internally? What makes you an attractive person that women would love to spend time with? What are aspects of yourself that will also make them sexually intrigued by you? If you can't answer that, then the work that needs to be done is going to be with you no matter what country you end up in - as you can't run away from yourself I have somewhat tried internally and locally but I think I'm getting it at all angles. I try something for a while and if it does not work I try something else. I have not asked an American woman out yet. The reason why I haven't well it is the things I hear. In the near future I would like to get married and lot of people say foreign women are the choice. I'm not going to say its true all the time but it is the results and success these men had that make me think it is better. I have no experience in dating American woman or anybody so I could not make such judgement without experience. The other two I can reason but sexually I honestly don't know and that is because I don't fully understand a sexual connection with myself and a woman so I would need to explore it. I had visit couple of high end escorts but did not learn anything much from it.
Els Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 (edited) 2) What do you have to offer that will make a woman decide to leave her family, friends and culture to be with you? Whatever that is, you have exactly the same to offer American women. To be fair, he has a green card to offer. And for some (especially those living in poverty), that is a pretty big deal. But yes, unless that's all he wants to be desired for, it's going to be the same situation, pretty much. I don't really get how all these guys here think that in outside-America (in that the world seems to be divided purely between that and America ), there lies a utopia in which all men are able to pick up lovely women of their choice with a snap of the fingers. Obviously, this isn't the case, because in every country, there are men who have trouble getting women. The only advantage an American would have over them is a green card and potential 'riches' - which may be a big enough deal to get women, yes - but if someone's okay with being desired solely for that, might as well pay a prostitute, no? The OP doesn't sound like a terrible guy, though, and I'm hoping that some time spent travelling (and by necessity, socializing with new folks) will help propel him in the right direction to the kind of life/relationship he wants. And it certainly doesn't hurt to broaden one's chances by meeting people from other places. Edited November 13, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator editorial remark about fellow members redacted 1
clia Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 I have somewhat tried internally and locally but I think I'm getting it at all angles. I try something for a while and if it does not work I try something else. I have not asked an American woman out yet. The reason why I haven't well it is the things I hear. In the near future I would like to get married and lot of people say foreign women are the choice. I'm not going to say its true all the time but it is the results and success these men had that make me think it is better. I have no experience in dating American woman or anybody so I could not make such judgement without experience. Oh, I see. You've never even tried to date an American woman, much less ask one out on a date, but foreign women are clearly a "good way to go." You cannot be serious. You've had no success in the U.S. because you've made no effort. At least with an American woman you'll know they aren't using you for a green card. 1
FitChick Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 You guys thought buying dinner on a date was extreme? Just WAIT until you're footing the bill to support some foreign woman by dragging her over here as your mail-order bride and supporting her for the next 25 years or so. No, most of them only stay married until they can legally live and work in the US after a divorce. Don't know what that is -- five years? Ten years?
CantonBound Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 Actually, that is exactly what I was thinking of, but I wonder if he's aware that that's what he has to offer. And I would also like to add, in the interest of fairness - a good woman who gets out of poverty complements of an American man offering a green card can, in fact, be grateful and dutiful enough to be a good wife to him. I've mentioned this before - my brother went and fetched himself up a gorgeous bride from South America who was 21 when he obtained her (he was 48). I don't know her and never will, but from what I see on Facebook, she truly seems like a lovely human being who takes her marriage and family (they have 3 kids, one of whom she came with) very seriously and is fully committed and invested. My brother has a bunch of money, too. Your brother sounds like a smart man.
scorpiogirl Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 By all means, pick the low hanging fruit. I live in Asia and see men like you every day with these "foreign" girls. Geriatric with a 20 year old bargirl, who flatters him and tells him he's so handsome. The nerdy American guy, who has never gotten a date in his own country is a Brad Pitt here among the poor girls who only see his green card and dollar signs. These girls laugh with their friends at these men, while they hold out their hands for the cash to send home. Of course they will say yes to your date request, relationship and ultimately the proposal because you've become their way out of their cheap lives. And everyone who sees you together knows the deal. It's pathetic that men need their egos so inflated, and are so afraid to be challenged by educated, independent, self-sufficient women, that they feel these foreign girls treat them so much better. Instead of bettering yourself and making an effort and reaching UP for a woman, you stoop DOWN and grab the first thing that sticks to you. If you're the kind of man who can only get a woman by buying her and supporting her family, then you should definitely go to South East Asia or a Eastern Europe. If you never need to have a stimulating conversation beyond how good she looks naked, then come on over. If you require little in the way of an EQUAL partner, shoot I'll tell you where to go. They never talk back. They make the weakest man feel like a king. They bring you your slippers and giggle when you talk. They also think you're a fool for believing that they actually think you're a catch, apart from your citizenship.
CantonBound Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 With a LOT of money. Good for both of them, if they're having a good life together. Personally, I would not be happy in a relationship where I purchased my spouse, or was purchased. That's just me, though. You wouldn't have to. You're a woman and you do the choosing in the US, leaving a good portion of men either desperate and willing to settle for far less than they are worth or alone altogether. Women only end up alone if they choose to be.
CantonBound Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 ??? Haven't you been around here for a while and seen that piteous train of thought soundly debunked? Simply saying "No you are wrong. Women don't have it easier." is not debunking anything. My female friends IRL definitely acknowledge that it's more difficult for men. It's weird to me that women here don't see the same thing. What are you talking about, men "settling for far less than they are worth," anyway? Are you talking about human women? A human being is not a "thing" that a man is entitled to depending upon his perceived "worth" as a human being. Women are always chasing the best too. Everyone does it in the US. We are a culture that values image and are always looking to move up. You're right about one thing. She has to choose you. And you have to choose her in return. That's how you come up with COUPLES. Reciprocated choosing. Yes, but most women choose the same guys. Then, when they get screwed over by those guys, they go for the ones that society deems lesser. The lesser men have no other options than to settle down with these women since they have no other options (and they don't view seeking outside the country as a viable option for whatever reason).
Leigh 87 Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 Going overseas is actually how I think I will meet a future lover that turns into a long term thing. If you are very travel orientated like I am, then obviously you will meet others who you share that in common with. Personally, it is a huge turn on to know that the guy I am seeing has sat around had had drinks with a bunch of people in Spain. I love people who have experienced different cultures and have first hand experience with it. If it is to improve your chances? Yes, some Australian and American guys have VERY good luck overseas, and more girls tend to be attracted to them based on the fact they are from a far away place, with a cute accent.
William Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 Members, let's focus on the thread starter and their interest in the option of overseas dating and stow the analysis of fellow members and gender rhetoric. Thank you!
lino Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 American guys with their accent will definitely clean up here. I've also said it before on here but Australian women seem much less concerned with how tall a guy is. I actually think a lot of the less successful American guys on here could fare well in Australia.
carhill Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 I definitely got noticed more out in WA (Perth) than in the Sydney or Melbourne areas. I also noticed an American didn't stand out when in Auckland or Wellington (NZ). People were friendly but that was it. However, I wasn't attempting to meet people at the time. I would say rural Australia was where I felt like I 'stood out' the most and got noticed by the ladies the most. 'Rural' was away from the coast and up into the hill country. Additionally, for a young person, Australia or New Zealand has good emigration possibilities.
Els Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 Actually, that is exactly what I was thinking of, but I wonder if he's aware that that's what he has to offer. And I would also like to add, in the interest of fairness - a good woman who gets out of poverty complements of an American man offering a green card can, in fact, be grateful and dutiful enough to be a good wife to him. I've mentioned this before - my brother went and fetched himself up a gorgeous bride from South America who was 21 when he obtained her (he was 48). I don't know her and never will, but from what I see on Facebook, she truly seems like a lovely human being who takes her marriage and family (they have 3 kids, one of whom she came with) very seriously and is fully committed and invested. My brother has a bunch of money, too. Yup, each to their own. We all make our choices in life, and if someone is genuinely okay being wanted for emigration/money as long as their partner is loyal (even that is a risk, but fortunately your brother was lucky) - then, eh, great for them. They have to choose some very desperate countries for that, though - a green card is worth literally nothing in Canada, Western Europe, Australia, or New Zealand. Aside from that, I've lived in a few countries around the globe, and in every single one of them, people with literally NOTHING going for them are going to have a hard time. That's just the way life goes.
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