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Very unsure how to proceed with this girl

Keenly

By Keenly
in Dating

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Ruby Slippers Established Member

Ruby Slippers

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Go for it! This is sounding very good :bunny:

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Keenly Established Member

Keenly

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Lol, is that how you feel about my advice (in which case:p) or you realise you should have set a date?

 

How I felt when I realized I know how have to figure out a way to backtrack on the date / time,

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beyond Established Member

beyond

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How I felt when I realized I know how have to figure out a way to backtrack on the date / time,

 

oh hun, you are not backtracking, you just need to firm things up.

 

Just make it casual 'hey, just realised I'm free on Friday, so how about I thrash you at that game of golf then? - I'll pick you up at 7.'

 

It will take 2 minutes......come on!

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FitChick Established Member

FitChick

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She probably doesn't like clingy guys, so guys who are used to girls being clingy are intrigued by her and chase. Someone who is busy might view chasing as pressure.

 

I wouldn't contact her daily unless she initiated it, then a quick response is appropriate. Then wait at least a day before you initiate contact unless you two are planning a specific date. Keep her apprised of when you are free. Always have a backup plan for yourself if she isn't free. You want her to think you have a fascinating life without her, even if it's doing something on your own that requires discipline or that few do. Write a song and ask for her input. Worked for Eric Clapton when he wrote Layla! If she wants to talk to you sooner, she isn't the shy type.

 

Since you said you are clingy, err on the side of distance, knowing that she likes you already.

todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

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She probably doesn't like clingy guys, so guys who are used to girls being clingy are intrigued by her and chase. Someone who is busy might view chasing as pressure.

 

I wouldn't contact her daily unless she initiated it, then a quick response is appropriate. Then wait at least a day before you initiate contact unless you two are planning a specific date. Keep her apprised of when you are free. Always have a backup plan for yourself if she isn't free. You want her to think you have a fascinating life without her, even if it's doing something on your own that requires discipline or that few do. Write a song and ask for her input. Worked for Eric Clapton when he wrote Layla! If she wants to talk to you sooner, she isn't the shy type.

 

Since you said you are clingy, err on the side of distance, knowing that she likes you already.

 

 

I have been chased and it isnt the same as a guy being assertive ....chasing is texting or calling when you say you are busy , when you can't go they get upset and make you feel bad ...but instead chasing men take it as an opportunity to become aggressive and forceful as they perceive it as rejection when it isn't rejection.....and after that it pretty much does come to be rejection by women who don't like to be chased and cornered with guilt...they don't take no as simply lets try for another day....you are not chasing at all keenly you are courting......that's why i believe "girls" shouldnt date until they know the difference between courting and ....chasing......chasing guys normally are more in tune with wanting soemthing other than company and getting to know someone

 

if she truly likes you and can't make it on friday she will suggest a different day she is free if she is as keenly(smilin...:0)......) wanting to date you as you are to her........that is how you know you aren't chasing....but accepted as a potential date....time can be tricky to manage but when two people like each other ....both work it out together.....

 

 

i really hope you both do ...time constraints at the start are hard to navigate...i am rooting(that just sounds disgusting.....i am betting this is going to work for you keenly ....)

 

 

...dont you worry now, be who you are and roll with it...suggest the time and place.........best wishes....deb

Edited by todreaminblue
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Grumpybutfun Established Member

Grumpybutfun

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The vibe I was getting from these warnings was more of like a " I've seen guys try to date her but demand too much of her time. And dating is not her top priority right now " which I completely respect her even more if that's the case.

 

^^^This. Exactly what I thought too. Ashley is probably a very busy friend of theirs and they have seen how some guys are too clingy and it turns Ashley off.

 

From everything you have written, she sounds like she is really open to hanging out with you some more. Just be casual and suggest some fun things that won't take a whole lot of time. That way she won't feel so bad about hanging out with you then doing her homework/studying.

 

Keep us posted. She sounds fun.

Grumps

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Keenly Established Member

Keenly

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Update : even though I really wanted to, I refrained from texting her on Sunday. And on Monday.

 

I was going to wait another day but Tuesday I kicked some major ass on something I had been stressing about for a long time so I was feeling pretty ballsy. I started a conversation and it all went good. Topped off with a " good night, sleep well and sweet dreams :) " text that made me feel quite confident in her interest.

 

I got a date out of her, next Sunday. Mini golf. I'm ready to bomb it because I'll be pretty nervous :D

 

 

I've initiated all contact so far. My plan going forward is to not text her at all until

A) we are confirming date and time closer to the day

Or

B) she initiates contact.

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pteromom Established Member

pteromom

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I wouldn't make a plan for not texting. That seems like game playing.

 

If you see something during the week that would make her laugh or that reminds you of something you've talked about with her - text her!

 

It sounds pretty obvious that she is attracted to you. So that's the first step, right?

 

She sounds like a pretty cool person. So don't blow it! ;)

 

As far as the "busy girl" comment, are you close enough friends to one of the girls who said that to go back and ask them what that means? Because it could be interpreted several ways.

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Keenly Established Member

Keenly

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I wouldn't make a plan for not texting. That seems like game playing.

 

If you see something during the week that would make her laugh or that reminds you of something you've talked about with her - text her!

 

It sounds pretty obvious that she is attracted to you. So that's the first step, right?

 

She sounds like a pretty cool person. So don't blow it! ;)

 

As far as the "busy girl" comment, are you close enough friends to one of the girls who said that to go back and ask them what that means? Because it could be interpreted several ways.

 

Yes I am. She has 2 medical field jobs and is finishing her degree. That's where the busy comes in. We did get off at the same time yesterday, midnight. I sent her a good night text and she said she just got off too, I could of texted her but I was too tired to be witty so I decided not tonight.

 

 

Definitely no game playing, unless you count the not scaring her off game.

  • 2 weeks later...
FloridaKeys Member

FloridaKeys

Posted
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Keenly, just curious as to whether anything came of this. Did you guys go out?

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