Keenly Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 Loveshack disclaimer : I took my insomnia medication , and it really hit me halfway through. If you find something you dont understand or doesnt make sense, but you are interested, ill gladly catch you up to speed. I am making this post with the intent of making it as short as possible. In order to do this, It's probably going to be pretty vague. I will happily clarify with any and all details inquired about. Here we go. I haven't had sex in over a year. I've been on a few dates with a few girls, but none have really tickled my fancy so to speak. On halloween I was invited to a new co workers house for drinking, board games, drinking games, stuff like that. We will call my female co worker Nicole. A night in with nicole and her friends, and my friend and also coworker we will call jason. I show up and get settled in and start drinking. I see nicole's friend who we will call ashley. Ashley is by far one of the single most beautiful women I have ever seen. No, I don't mean shes hot, I don't mean shes sexy, she is beauty incarnate in my eyes. I drank an entire bottle of my favorite beer (delirium tremens, comes in a wine bottle, 8%) and alcohol hits me pretty hard so I was feeling pretty good. We are all sitting in a circle playing various games. I'm being my usual self making people laugh, being especially social because of the alcohol. Ashley, towards the end of the night, SEEMED to me like she went out of her way to not only sit next to me, but make sure our legs were constantly in contact. (Important to this story, I have learned through experience that my own judgment of whether or not a girl likes me cannot be trusted, because I am always wrong. This leads to quite a bit of disappointment, so I don't listen to my brain when it tells me stuff like this) So were being really flirty and it SEEMED like she was into me, but I was pushing that part way down because I didn't want to be let down, yet again. I wasn't avoiding her or anything, I was just focused on being myself and having fun, although admittedly I did pay more attention to her than anyone else. When I left that night, as nicole was walking me out of her place, she started talking about ashley. "Be careful, she is a very, very busy girl. 2 jobs in the medical field and almost done with her final year of college. I've had friends try to date her and it never works out." I thought this was rather odd, unsolicited advice (though any advice regarding ashley is greatly appreciated coming from her close friends) I found this "warning" odd because I didn't ask for her number, or invite her out, or hit on her, or anything like that. Went home. This week I was thinking about her an awful lot.... an AWFUL lot. Borderline unhealthy amount, mostly about how stunning she looks, how sharp her mind is, and how she gets my sense of humor. So I asked nicole to host another game night. That was tonight. I got there late because work is a bitch. Anyway, Jason and my really close friend Matt are all there already with ashley on the couch. Matt has never met any of these people before (relevant to the story later) Night goes just as last time. Flirting, Eye contact. A couple very much appreciated instances of her putting her hand on my head or body while talking. Exploiting my ticklish ribcage etc. I made a joke about stalking her on facebook, and she instantly pulled out her phone and said "Whats your last name?" so she looked me up and added me right on the spot. My name is Patrick. I got by Pat to EVERYONE. Except girls I like, and my mother. I got the usual "is your full name patrick?" to which I respond yes, but only you may call me that. More flirting, invited her and the group we were with to attended a bowling night tomorrow night. She said she is going to make it after her blood draw test (gross) When we leave, she came up to me and said "HEY! give me your phone" So i let her take care of that business (score, didn't even have to ask and now I have her digits and her facebook) Ashley drives off. Nicoles room mate Lorie comes out and says "be careful with her, she is a very very busy girl" I'm having a deja vu moment of last week when a different girl told me that exact same unsolicited advice. This gives me the impression, through either body language or text messages, that ashley has told both lorie and nicole that she is into me. But this is only an educated guess. My friend matt said "dude Im pretty sure she likes you. She perked up as soon as you arrived, and she seemed really into your conversations and eager to listen to you." I guess my question is.... Now What? My current plan is to do absolutely nothing different. Im going to be Patrick, having fun with his friends and a very pretty girl. Do I try to pursue her, or do I do nothing and let this play out since it has only been 2 events. I'm learning towards doing nothing and just seeing where our chemistry takes us. Any and All advice greatly appreciated.
mikei880 Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 Seems to me she did all the hard work, roll with it. What do you have to lose? As far as friends saying she is "busy" maybe she is... if she's truly into you and it seems that way, she'll make the time to be with you... good luck! 1
StanMusial Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 Do these other girls view her as competition/ a threat? If not, I would give some weight to the warning. Also I kind of wonder if the "busy" term is just some sort of camoflauge for her approach to dating. She may be the hot/cold type and doesn't really care to date seriously. Maybe she gets around. That's something to consider as well. You definitely shouldn't fixate on her, just do your thing and try asking her out so you can get to know her a little better. Just remember your warning, for whatever that is worth. 4
RonaldS Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 Be careful with her, she's a very very busy girl. 3
truth_seeker Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 I agree with Stan: keep that warning in the back of your head. There could be some truth to her being "busy" but for these girls to offer this information out of nowhere sounds like possible sabotage. Twice this year I've had two guys approach me about different two women and tell me things about them. I didn't really know these guys well and immediately got nervous about the things they told me about these women. Was there truth to what they told me? Yes. However, they weren't telling me these things to be nice and look out for me, they had an agenda to scare me off. I was a threat to them. I listened to what they said and did my own investigating to see what was going on, then come to my own conclusions. Get to know this girl and also get to know these two girls who told you how she is "busy". Find out if they're the jealous, catty type to start drama. 1
Author Keenly Posted November 9, 2013 Author Posted November 9, 2013 I agree with Stan: keep that warning in the back of your head. There could be some truth to her being "busy" but for these girls to offer this information out of nowhere sounds like possible sabotage. Twice this year I've had two guys approach me about different two women and tell me things about them. I didn't really know these guys well and immediately got nervous about the things they told me about these women. Was there truth to what they told me? Yes. However, they weren't telling me these things to be nice and look out for me, they had an agenda to scare me off. I was a threat to them. I listened to what they said and did my own investigating to see what was going on, then come to my own conclusions. Get to know this girl and also get to know these two girls who told you how she is "busy". Find out if they're the jealous, catty type to start drama. As far as I know, they are not drama starting catty bitches. They were all about to move in together at one point, but Ashley wanted to finish college and keep her neurosurgery assisting jobs. Nicoleis married to a man she is completely in love with. I saw them waltz in their kitchen and I saw the way they look at each other, they are they epitome of love. The vibe I was getting from these warnings was more of like a " I've seen guys try to date her but demand too much of her time. And dating is not her top priority right now " which I completely respect her even more if that's the case. Ashley is nice, sweet, quiet, she doesn't give off slutty vibes like that. She's also one of the only women I have ever viewed as an intellectual equal. ( sorry I'm not trying to sound arrogant. We talk about Shakespeare, theoretical physics, the human psyche, sociology , etc instead of celebrities , kardashians, and other girly things ) The thing is... I'm also a really busy guy. I work 55 hours a week... on Tuesday I was at work from 1030 am to 2 am. That's a 15 hour day. I've come to the realization that if I could only see this girl twice a month, I'd still be very happy to have her. Hopefully she comes after her nasty ass test tonight. My friend Jason also said he thinks it looks like she is into me. I hoeoso... its about time something positive happened in my life. I'll keep you guys posted. Sorry for the incoherent post last night. If anyone has any questions feel free. 1
Author Keenly Posted November 9, 2013 Author Posted November 9, 2013 OP, I've seen your posts. You seem like a down to earth guy with a good understanding of women. I think you already know that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover and you shouldn't get so infatuated with a girl that you don't even know(A). Proceed, but do so with caution. And date other women while you're at it.(B) A) Thats what I was trying to describe in the OP, I can't let my brain run with these ideas, so I Suppress it. She gives me a look...one impossible to describe. I have gotten that look before. Also the whole my name is pat but you can call me patrick thing has been a pattern in my life. B) Sweet idea, but 1) i have no other options at the moment and 2) im not really interested in anyone right now. I'd rather be alone, or with her. Those are my two options and I'm okay with both.
Shepp Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 I had plenty of mates warn me off my girlfriend...where'd I be now if id listened. Its cliché but id rather make a mistake than wonder what if! 2
Author Keenly Posted November 9, 2013 Author Posted November 9, 2013 I had plenty of mates warn me off my girlfriend...where'd I be now if id listened. Its cliché but id rather make a mistake than wonder what if! It doesn't feel like a "stay away" warning. More of a "brace yourself" Am I crazy for assuming that because 2 friends approached me on 2 different occasions that she talks about me to them?
Shepp Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 It doesn't feel like a "stay away" warning. More of a "brace yourself" Maybe shes just had a lot of lads break up with her cause of her schedule and there looking out for her?? Am I crazy for assuming that because 2 friend approached me on 2 different occasions that she talks about me to them? In my experience you've be crazy if you didn't assume that she had! Girls talk!!! and talk...and talk..and talk 1
StanMusial Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 Am I crazy for assuming that because 2 friends approached me on 2 different occasions that she talks about me to them? The way you described the scenario, it seems like maybe they could've picked up that you liked her. I wouldn't worry about that part. There's only one way to find out more about her, is to go on a date with her. 1
Eggplant Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 Who are these friends loyal to? They seem to be trying to sabotage something... If she's in med school, I congratulate her on finding time to go to a social event. Med school doesn't last forever, but you can gauge her business. If she's really busy, maybe it's because she has passions and aspirations in life... 1
beyond Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 (edited) Don't overthink things. It's all good. She likes you, go with it. Yes, I'm sure she has spoken to her friends about you -"hey, 'keenly' seems nice, is he single?" That kind of thing. I agree with above poster - I'd say it was a definite plus that she has lots of drive and aspirations. Relax Edited November 9, 2013 by beyond 1
todreaminblue Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 I just want to say i think the way you described her as beauty incarnate was......beautiful...not sexy not hot but beauty incarnate......so graceful to come from a guy...and from your picture makes you a bit of an enigma...never judge a book by a cover prover......you rock....deb 4
beyond Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 I agree Deb - it's a lovely comment. I'm scrolling through the dating section whilst waiting for an important phone call, and was laughing out loud /sighing at the ridiculousness / shaking my head at the ease which people seem to get drunk, get laid, move onto the next piece of 'meat' etc. That comment, was a lovely jewel to find amongst it all. 2
todreaminblue Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 I agree Deb - it's a lovely comment. I'm scrolling through the dating section whilst waiting for an important phone call, and was laughing out loud /sighing at the ridiculousness / shaking my head at the ease which people seem to get drunk, get laid, move onto the next piece of 'meat' etc. That comment, was a lovely jewel to find amongst it all. it was......i would have to say .....its the first time i have read it .......from a guy....who wasnt writing poetry or literature ....touched my heart......i hope ashley sees that in op....its..........yeah ok...smilin...i am in a soppy mood.......ill stop now....thanks beyond for agreeing that warms my heart too....maybe i am not so crazy after all...or you are too...crazy loves company...:0)...it was a gem of a thought shared with humility..kudos to the op for sharing it...pretty brave and romantic if you ask me...for a guy to show his heart...lets hope ashley recognises no matter how busy she is.....a gem.....................deb 1
fujidabruin Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 I just want to say i think the way you described her as beauty incarnate was......beautiful...not sexy not hot but beauty incarnate......so graceful to come from a guy...and from your picture makes you a bit of an enigma...never judge a book by a cover prover......you rock....deb Hey Keenly, Be yourself and just be aware of your own emotions..... whatever happens after that I am sure you will be fine. For some of us that have followed your posts, it is easy to see that you are "down to earth", sensible, show depth of character, and passion. I know you will be confident in the choices you make..... but do not be afraid to show some vulnerability if the 2 of you make a romantic connection. Like DEB, I find it endearing the way you describe an obviously attractive young lady that you barely know and know that you also need to 'keep it REAL' and be true to yourself. Good Luck Dude..... 1
beyond Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 it was......i would have to say .....its the first time i have read it .......from a guy....who wasnt writing poetry or literature ....touched my heart......i hope ashley sees that in op....its..........yeah ok...smilin...i am in a soppy mood.......ill stop now....thanks beyond for agreeing that warms my heart too....maybe i am not so crazy after all...or you are too...crazy loves company...:0)...it was a gem of a thought shared with humility..kudos to the op for sharing it...pretty brave and romantic if you ask me...for a guy to show his heart...lets hope ashley recognises no matter how busy she is.....a gem.....................deb Well if we are crazy to be touched by someone expressing real emotion, then I don't want to be sane Too many cynical people around. After being hurt, I try and be 'ice queen, thou shall not touch my heart' woman.....but it's not really me! Sorry to threadjack op - please update when you can as to how things are going.
dreamingoftigers Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 Mention that you are busy and have a lot going on right now, but that if you both can co-ordinate nights that you'd live to take her out. Mention that you've had a lot of fun at both events etc. She's been pretty blunt so far. She gave you her number so that you would use it. 1
Author Keenly Posted November 10, 2013 Author Posted November 10, 2013 Thank you guys for the kind words. Engines forward quarter speed it sounds like. Yeah she gave me her number, sent me a friend request on Facebook (this happened at the party, five seconds after the word Facebook was mentioned ) Last night was bowling and we exchanged a few text volleys before the event. She ended up not being able to make it with her college being 40 minutes away and her blood analasys taking a few hours longer than she expected. But I followed that up. At the party on Halloween, our first interaction , we were playing drinking games where you can potentially choose some one to screw over. I said " let's make a pact not to betray each other " and so we pinky swore on that one and now we joke about how we are pact buddies. So after she said it might be too late to go bowling last night, I said " alright I understand, but as your pact Buddy i must impose a penalty. You must play a round of mini golf with me, and I promise I'm only a little bad at it. " She agreed, said that sounds awesome, and a few minutes later I ended the conversation with a good night text. Now I am going to either wait 3 days, or let her initiate all the texts shed like. Reasonable ? 2
beyond Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 Thank you guys for the kind words. Engines forward quarter speed it sounds like. Yeah she gave me her number, sent me a friend request on Facebook (this happened at the party, five seconds after the word Facebook was mentioned ) Last night was bowling and we exchanged a few text volleys before the event. She ended up not being able to make it with her college being 40 minutes away and her blood analasys taking a few hours longer than she expected. But I followed that up. At the party on Halloween, our first interaction , we were playing drinking games where you can potentially choose some one to screw over. I said " let's make a pact not to betray each other " and so we pinky swore on that one and now we joke about how we are pact buddies. So after she said it might be too late to go bowling last night, I said " alright I understand, but as your pact Buddy i must impose a penalty. You must play a round of mini golf with me, and I promise I'm only a little bad at it. " She agreed, said that sounds awesome, and a few minutes later I ended the conversation with a good night text. Now I am going to either wait 3 days, or let her initiate all the texts shed like. Reasonable ? I don't understand the last paragraph- why would you wait 3 days? You have arranged to play mini golf, but did you arrange a specific day? 1
Author Keenly Posted November 10, 2013 Author Posted November 10, 2013 I don't understand the last paragraph- why would you wait 3 days? You have arranged to play mini golf, but did you arrange a specific day? Oh we've talked before about what its like to have little to no free time. I told her she picks the day and I'll make it happen. No specific day, but I did arrange the activity. I have no idea how her schedule is laid out at this point . The 3 day thing is me trying to play it cool and trying to not seem needy and give her her space, a problem I have had before.
beyond Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 Oh we've talked before about what its like to have little to no free time. I told her she picks the day and I'll make it happen. No specific day, but I did arrange the activity. I have no idea how her schedule is laid out at this point . The 3 day thing is me trying to play it cool and trying to not seem needy and give her her space, a problem I have had before. Oh no, don't just let it drift, say a date - 'hey, how does Friday sound for that game of golf - pick you up at 7?' Something assertive like that. She can then come back and say yes, or suggest another date to you when she is free. Oh, and call her, no texting. 2
Author Keenly Posted November 10, 2013 Author Posted November 10, 2013 Oh no, don't just let it drift, say a date - 'hey, how does Friday sound for that game of golf - pick you up at 7?' Something assertive like that. She can then come back and say yes, or suggest another date to you when she is free. Oh, and call her, no texting. Please allow serve as my formal response to your post.
beyond Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 Please allow serve as my formal response to your post. Lol, is that how you feel about my advice (in which case:p) or you realise you should have set a date? 1
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