kansub Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 I am super confused. No other better way to start the post. I met this guy at work and he was the one who was initially interested and we decided on the official relationship 3 months back. After our relship, we were getting better day by day. During the relship, he used to tell me at times he gets pressured but I used to tell him, not to worry and just think of today. I was supposed to go to different place for work for a month and so we were away for a month. Everything was fine and we used to mesg everyday about daily updates etc and he told me many times that he has been missing me and he told the same to my friends at work as well. But suddenly, one morning he called me to inform that he wants to break up with me. The reason is "This gap gave him a feeling that he has to be alone and need time for himself. Also he feels something is pushing against him in relship and not sure if its sufficient to continue for long-term”. It came out as a surprise for me because the previous night he was having emotional conversation with me as usual Also during this gap, he got reconnected with one of his friends and was in minimal contact. So I assumed, he wants to have fun and go around with other girls and thats the reason he wants to break up. Its been 3 weeks since we broke up and after we broke up, we have been in constant touch thro' text almost everyday like casually. In one party, I saw him coming with the 'friend' and they were intimate as well. I could not stop myself and went confronting him on his face. Next day morning, he msged me saying it did not happen before I made a stunt. I was still not sure why he is justifying himself and the situation because we are officially done. Then i went on NC for 2 days and tried to mesg him casually after that. He is showing wierd behaviours. At times, when he sees me at work, he himself comes and talk to me but at times he behaves as if he does not know me. Now I am totally confused. I really feel lik getting him back. But without knowing his actual problem, whether he is scared of commitment / relship or he just wants to be single or he dumped me for someone else, I am not sure what to do. Should I go on NC or not ?. Any chance of getting him back ?.. Since its a STR, the relship was intense and I didn't get a chance to see his flaws etc. Its worse than breaking up after a LTR PS: We both work in same office and same floor
Inviv_girl Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 Hi, Im sorry you are in this situation. This is not easy, I know and I want to give my honest opinion here. I think he is not willing to commit for long term relationship with you. From what I read I think he has already in specific contact with that friend of him before you. He was just "try" you and when he feels you are not fit then he left. I think best to do is NC and ignore him, this man is not good for long run!
faithfully Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 Yeaahh go NC and stay that way. Sounds like he does not want a long term or has decided maybe you are not the 1 for him. This relatiinship was not long, you said only 3 minths so still very early. Be thankful this relationship wasnt for 3 years. You will get better and with time wont care about this guy. Go NC ALL THE WAYY
d0nnivain Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 Because you work together, I get the sense that he is trying to put a professional face on your interactions & be cordial at work. Although I hear you wanting to reconnect, from his perspective, I don't see that desire. he tried to be civil to you at a work party when he was clearly with somebody else & you caused a scene. For that alone, he's not going to take you back because he can't trust you to be sane in public.
Author kansub Posted November 9, 2013 Author Posted November 9, 2013 (edited) Hmm, there is a background with this gal. He has been telling me that she is just a friend but he invited her to our common hang out group when I was not in town. He himself mentioned to my friends that she is kinda s**t and trying to hook up with guys around. My strong/ gut estimate (also I hear from other friends) that they are sleeping around or clearly FWB after my break-up. But he still mentioned to me after the party that its still just a friend and I misunderstood the situation. May be he is trying to put a nice face for him and trying to prove he is still a gud guy. This one reason is enough for me not to want him back More insights abt him, he told me has slight signs of autism related to social activities/ small talk etc. He has lot of thoughts in his mind everytime and at times he wud feel more pressurized even to have sex etc. He told me that his GFs normally have tough time dealing with this. He is the one who wanted to make our relship official at work and with friends. Infact, his dad is aware of me as well. I clearly don't know what to believe and what not at this stage. My friends suggested me to move on rather than dealing with such complication and moreover he initiated the break-up But somewhere in my heart, I think I am still attached to this guy and that's making me wish that he comes back. It hurts me very badly when I think that he left me for sleeping around with some random gal, in case if he is sleeping around with this gal for fun. Edited November 9, 2013 by kansub
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