misskaty13 Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6-7 months. Recently, he started to "joke" about us. One time, he drunk called me at 4am on sat night and asked me to come over, I was like it's late and I got plans with my family the next day, and I was a bit pissed that I got woke up at the middle of the night. The next day, I told him about it and he said he won't call you next time. I told him it's sweet he thought of me when he's out but maybe text me instead of calling me, and then I wished him to have a good day. he's like "i wont, I need a gf." I was like "ass, I am your gf." he's like "not if you get pissed when I want to see you." I told him it's just because he woke me up last night at 4. he's like "poor you, don't want anyone to call you on a sat" I asked him if he was upset that I couldn't come over, he said no then I asked what he's upset about, he said he wasn't upset. I told him that he said I was pissed that he wanna see me but I was never pissed about that. he's like "relax drama queen" The following Saturday, my boyfriend asked me very last minute in the evening if I wanna go over to his place. I got plans already and I said I couldn't. On Sunday, I got plans with my dad during the day, but I haven't seen my boyfriend during the weekend so I asked him in the morning if he wanna do sth together at night. He's like "so what am I doing during the day? I need two gf" it made me feel bad but I didnt say anything this time. One time, we were texting each other during lunch time, and then I told him about how all the cheap lunches are gone. he's like "better find a rich boyfriend then haha." Him saying all these "I need a gf" "i need two gf" "you need a rich bf" just don't make me feel good, especially the "i need a gf" ones since it sounds like he's accusing me for not spending the weekend with him and that I am not a good girlfriend, but then he called me a drama queen when I try to explain to him. I know he's prob joking, but I just don't think these are things to joke about. Is he just not serious about the relationship, or I am too sensitive?
Algon Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 Drama king. No, really, it feels like he is just very impatient and 'bored' type when he isn't able to do anything without his girlfriend, and wants you to feel upset about it. 2
Grumpybutfun Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 OP: This is called passive aggressiveness. If he is constantly saying or showing a pervasive pattern of negatives in order to get you to change behaviors he doesn't like, it is form of manipulation. Perhaps this is how his parents interact or he is too immature to understand how to ask you for what he needs in the relationship. Regardless, it is destructive to overall trust and will erode at your affection and respect for him, as it seems to be already doing. The best way to handle a passive aggressive person is to place boundaries, asking directly for what you want in the relationship. Good luck, Grumps 3
Treasa Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 He's an *******. Dump him. I am completely serious. He has no regards for your feelings.
Author misskaty13 Posted November 9, 2013 Author Posted November 9, 2013 Maybe he dont know how to express himself. so he trys to give his opinion true those jokes. He need to learn to get to the point! Its annoying. But anyway it sounds like he is not really serious about you 2. Its like he keeps giving you hints. Confront him ask him to be clear about his opinions, Talk to him, let him what you like and dont like . The following week, I tried to ask him earlier on fri if he would like to do sth together on sat. He dodged the question and kept talking about sth else for an hr and then I asked again and he's like I am at work, I can't tell you the answer right away. I told him it's just because the past 2 weekends he asked me out very last minute that I ended up having sth planned with my family already and then he said things like "I need a gf", so this weekend I just want to plan things earlier with you, but then he didnt know if he would like to do sth together. He's like "calm down, sailor....relax" I asked again the next day in the afternoon, he still couldnt tell me if he want to do sth with me that night because he might be out with his friends. I just told him I am assuming he's not free and that I am hanging out with my friends and maybe we can do sth on sunday instead. he did end up going out and drunk calling me again.
d0nnivain Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 It does sound like he wants you to be at his beck & call. . . available to him at the drop of a hat at his convenience without regard to your plans. The he gets petulant about it. I would discuss it with him. Tell him that you are happy to do things together but you need him to make plans with you not call you at the last minute & pout like a child when you can't accommodate him. Throw it back in his face -- he says he needs 2 GFs; well you need 2 BFs one of whom is a grown up who makes plans in advance.
NJtoDC Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 OP, find a man. You are dating a child. Are you actually happy in this relationship? You can do better. Please do! 1
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