Jlschmidt1988 Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 I'm new on here but I have question for anyone willing to answer. I just met a beautiful girl on pof and we haven't met yet. We're both attracted to each other and I planned a date with her next Saturday. I met her online this past Tuesday and we've been talking nonstop. Hours on the phone even mentioning to each other 'if we get married' kind of stuff. First of all is that bad? Well, we are getting along and everything sounds perfect but she keeps telling me 'don't get your hopes up because you might not even like me.' I know some of you will just say I'm over analyzing the conversation but I just want some light on this Does she really mean I might not like her? Because I know I will by the way we're talking. Or is she really indirectly saying she might not like me? Also can someone give me some small hints on how to talk to her until our date and how I should act on the date?
shimmychanga Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 What is "pof"? Have you seen pictures of each other? I think her saying "you might not like me" shows she's somewhat realistic. I qualify that because of the "if we get married" stuff, which is a little cray to be saying to someone you've never met in person. Take it slow, keep your expectations low, and on your date, try to have some perspective. Try not to show up with this in your brain: "OMG THIS MIGHT BE THE PERSON I MARRRRRRRY!" Try to show up with something more like this in your brain: "This is going to be interesting whether or not we're attracted to each other. How cool that I've met someone I connect with. If we end up being friends and not lovers, that's totally fine!"
shimmychanga Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 Oh, also, I had a geeky (great) guy friend in college whose fiancee was a girl he met on a Zelda chat room when they were both 12. She lived halfway across the country. They had to wait five years to meet in real life. They're still together. (This doesn't cancel out my previous advice! I just think it's a cute story, and I like to acknowledge that love can be found on the internet.)
oldshirt Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 It means at one of you is trying to keep some feet on the ground and look at this a little realistically. Electronic communication can be fun and entertaining but it isn't "real." (I don't want to set off another storm of arguments like in the LDR section but lets just say everything is all up for grabs until people are together in the physical world) She is correct, you may instantly dislike her and/or she may instantly dislike you once you meet in the flesh. Or you may be completely indifferent for some time or you may even hit it off. the point is, only doing things together and experiencing different things and different situations in real life is an adequate guage of whether you will be compatable or not. Everything else is just being a pen pal. You are putting the cart in front of the horse and getting your hopes up unrealistically by discussing things like marriage and the future etc. 1
Recommended Posts