Should my GF be talking to me about other men?

[brettman]

Hi,

my girlfriend has been talking to me about how her jaw drops when she looks at male swimming sporting events on tv and sees all the male swimmers in speedos. She tells me how its funny that she and her sister just go into dream world when this sort of stuff comes on tv - how if anyone asked them a question while watch this on tv they wouldn't hear a thing. I also have talked to her and she says how she just loves italian men. She also recenlty bought a DVD just for the purpose of getting sexually stimulated by watching the Italian guy in "Under the Tuscan Sun". I appreciate this honesty - but is it normal for girls to talk about this to their boyfriend? I also have to say she hasn't been showing much interest in me lately and I'm in good shape and looking good. I also wrote in a previous post about how she's so close to her sister its driving me crazy. Actually I think she is so close to her sister, she is now talking to me the same way she talks to her suster. In the past it wasn't like this at all - in fact she was scared to even look at another guy. What's happened to my GF? Is she becoming a little bit slutty? I am sure she hasn't done anything with any other guy - but when I ask her "What would you do if a hot italian man tried to seduce you?" - she always answers "Oh that will never happen, don't worry its a chance in a million" - this worries me - she nevers says - "No I wouldn't do anything" she just says - "Don't worry that would never happen". In other words she would jump on the opportunity and is wishing for it to happen right? I'm not against her being attracted to other men - hey I'm attracted to other women at times - but I don't talk to her about it. I also would not go have sex with another woman fo rthe reason that I care about her and wouldn't do something like that to her. But she doesn't seem to be saying this to me - she just says "Oh don't worry its never going to happen - no hot italian guys are going to go after me". Is this just normal fantasy she has? Or is it a sign of a problem?

[Barby]

I would bit quite a bit concerned and I can't imagine telling the person I loved..."wow that guy is hot" or "I love seeing the men in their speedos" ect...it's inappropriate in my opinion...

[bebop]

This is TNC. Totally Not Cool. Inappropriate, and not acceptable. She's got a problem.

[hugznkisses21]

tell her it bothers u....maybe she is trying to get u jelous for some reason

[LucreziaBorgia]

The part that concerns me about your story is this:

 

I also have to say she hasn't been showing much interest in me lately

 

Having fantasies and being able to share them honestly with your partner is one thing - but if this fantasy world begins detracting from the relationship, then it has crossed over into something problematic. The fact that her involvement with her fantasy world seems to be growing, while her interest in you is diminishing suggests something wrong on a deeper level.

 

I don't think the fantasy world and her talking about it is the problem: its a symptom. It may be time to sit her down and ask her honestly where she is in this relationship. If she is drifting, then she needs to let you know.

[Adunaphel]

Her behaviour is absolutely inappropriate!

I don't know what the feminine for "jerk"is, but she's acting like one!!!!

 

Yet I think that hugznkisses21 made a really good point -any chances she's trying to make you jealous?

 

Did you ever commented about other girls in a way that hurt her?

Perhaps you look at pornography and she has issues with it?

Could she be trying to give you tit for tat for something you did (even if you didn't mean to upset her)?

 

Did you tell her how this behaviour is making you feel?

If so, how did she react?

[dynamicdrew]

Do it to her, see how she feels! Compliment the sluttiest girl you can, with the largest breasts. Then she'll know how you feel. If you just talk to her about it, it may not register, but being confrnted with that herself, it my finally register.

 

Drew