mysteriouschic Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 Me too for a month and a half I kept trying to win him back or try the 30day no contact thing but failed when he contacted me about on the 4 week mark. We spoke a little then he ignored me again. I had to go through the getting over him again. I sent one last text which was the last I'd send and told myself I'd move on if he doesn't reply. Since went back into no contact 4 weeks later he's contacting me but this time I'm ignoring as I know better than to reply and you really see who the person is when you're not in a relationship with them. The way he spoke to me when we did text after I failed no contact the first time he seemed very controlling and not respectful at all a different person. I feel that it's easier to spot the signs and you won't make the same mistake twice. Now I always wish he ask me back just so I can tell him to get lost.
M30USA Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 Some of you are wondering what is she on about?? why would somebody be glad they were a dumpee?? when I was first dumped I cried, begged, pleaded, ran around after him, texting him, his mates, what some of you have done. Its been 7 weeks since my BU and deactivating my facebook and 15 days of hardcore NC. I can honestly say guys as time goes I am feeling happier within myself. If anything I only thing I ever regret was begging, crying, pleading. I have never been a dumpee before so I had no idea how to react but to beg and so on. I can say I am very thankful I was dumped. Its made me a very strong person today. I have learnt I WILL NEVER LET SOMEBODY TAKE ME FOR A RIDE AGAIN!!! Its opened my eyes and I am learning and have realised what I am worth and what I deserve!! IF I could say anything to my ex, I would thank him with pleasure for making me a better person. I would thank him for setting me free. For making me realise my mistake and also for opening my eyes as I was blind in love and ignored the red flags. I cried and came on this forum, poured my heart of and was given the best advice on here. Get out, go to the gym, spend your extra money on yourself, pamper yourself. I have listened I now have my hair, eyelashes and nails done. I have lost a stone and half. I am 27 and still young. I know there is somebody out there for me. I am not angry nor upset. I am happy So please guys, I promise you. It will get better!!! I know now it doesn't seem like it but it will. We don't know whats gonna happen in a years time or few months time. some of you might be single some might be in a happy relationship but as time goes on, it will get easier to move on. so thanks to the people who has helped me on this site Very good post! I would give you a friendly piece of advice: don't let this break up embitter you and make you callous. As much as possible, try to keep humility and, even though I'm sure you DO deserve better, it's a fine line between knowing this and then becoming arrogant and entitled. I am merely speaking from observation. You are probably a great person. Pray that God will keep your heart humble. (I just felt led to speak these words to you.)
Author faithfully Posted November 9, 2013 Author Posted November 9, 2013 (edited) Very good post! I would give you a friendly piece of advice: don't let this break up embitter you and make you callous. As much as possible, try to keep humility and, even though I'm sure you DO deserve better, it's a fine line between knowing this and then becoming arrogant and entitled. I am merely speaking from observation. You are probably a great person. Pray that God will keep your heart humble. (I just felt led to speak these words to you.) I appreciate every little advice so thank you very much. noo I will not let it embitter me as I know am a good person. I will never be arrogant nor can I stand arrogance. I am just thankful and happy that I experience being a dumpee coz its helped me realise what am worth and what I deserve. Just a lil background I have been a walking door mat, I paid for everything, gave him pocket money, drinking money, paid his debt, put petrol in my car so he could use it, he got me a parking and speeding fine which I paid. worked 60-70hours a week so he could have a social life, brought him clothes, cigs, drinks. paid my bills for our apartment we used to share. I was too blind to see if was being used coz I lacked self respect and didn't understand or know my worth. I am not moaning nor want people to feel sorry for me, I am just glad I was dumped now then in another 3/4years time when I could have been in more debt. Now without him I now have money, ive lost weight, can afford to pamper myself, get my hair and nails done. can save money and look forward. I don't have to look after anybody, not doing much hours at work. I now have a flatmate who I share my rent with. this post was just to show people who have been used or dump that there is light at the end of the tunnel and with time its actually not a bad thing being dumped. It actually opens your eyes for the better. This is a learning kurb for me and the next relationship I am in, I know the same thing will never happen to me, I would never be a walking living door mate and will not buy a man's love with money. Edited November 9, 2013 by faithfully 2
Author faithfully Posted November 14, 2013 Author Posted November 14, 2013 JUST A QUICK UPDATE GUYS DAY 21 NO CONTACT I am not angry, upset, bitter, malicious, behaving like a bitch, or being nasty. I am simply expressing my feels and thought. My anger, frustration towards my ex has stopped. stopped ages ago as soon as I realise I should actually be grateful for making me a strong, better human being. Still going to the gym and losing the weight rapid but with healthy eating of course. whilst being on the cross trainer I talk to myself inside. you are a better person faith, don't worry about the past, everything happens for a reason, if you didn't meet this guy I would still been in denial, sometimes you have to go through **** in relationship to finally find the 1. Some of you might think I sound mad talking to myself but quiet frankly I don't care. it helps me. Nearly weekend so off to get my refills on nails, get my eyebrow threaded and need to put my individual eyelash that fell out whilst I was asleep, lol. my rent and bills r all paid and all up to get so am feeling wonderful. Now I can now save to finally get the car I have always wanted- An AUDI TT. I have always wanted 1 for such a long time and this is my next goal. I WILL GET THIS CAR. I have a date guys on sun with this guy I have been chatting with, nothing serious just gonna pick me up and take me for a drink so sat am off shopping. I'm getting all giddy like a lil kid hahaha. Then next fri I have another date with this other guy who been chatting to for 2 weeks now so life at the min for me- is BLOODY GOOD. all you guys who are upset, come on live is not over. you will get better trust me. I didn't think it but look at me now. i was ready to kill myself and now laugh at how pathetic i looked and act. some people have it worst in this world, no food, no home, death in family, no job, **** all. we only just lost people who r not worth our precious time. chin up guys. it will get better 1
alex007 Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 I am 2 and a half months post BU. I didnt cry at all but my ex said she cried her self to sleep 2 nights in a row and broke down crying in frount of her whole family one night and her mom said maybe she should go up to her room and sleep it off. Is that weird? Why BU with me and say im a perfect guy but we are just not compattable? And then have a hard time? She even admited stalking my instagram and counting how many pix it said I updated and how many adds I accepted and had. I didnt cry but I told her I accepted her BU but what I ffeel like an idiot about was me asking her a week later if she wanted to get bsck together and asked her if she was sure and then did it a week after that and pleeded with her a little. That prob made me look weak but I loved her and wanted to make sure it was final before moving on. Well she said she does not want to and we will not rekindle what we had so I am. 12 days NC and I havent heard from her. She is very prideful and does not like to look "weak" even though she sent me a drunk voicemail a week after we broke up telling me she was hurt I moved on so fast because I started talking to an ex. What do you all think about that?
amazingdrummer Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 (edited) I have learnt I WILL NEVER LET SOMEBODY TAKE ME FOR A RIDE AGAIN!!! Wait until you fell in love again.... Edited November 14, 2013 by amazingdrummer
Confusedguy81 Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 When I was dumped recently I started writing again and haven't stopped. It can really kick your butt into gear. When my parents divorced (my mom ditching my dad), my dad went back to school shortly after and got his masters. There can be something about being dumped that can help you grow thick skin and reduce some level of fear. At least, that is my perspective on it.
Author faithfully Posted November 14, 2013 Author Posted November 14, 2013 Wait until you fell in love again.... Darling, i would be foolish to make the same mistake twice. I dont think i would as it didnt get me anywhere but a broken heart so doubt i would. I would be able to notice the red flag this time.
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