Thank god I was a dumpeee

[faithfully]

Some of you are wondering what is she on about?? why would somebody be glad they were a dumpee??

 

when I was first dumped I cried, begged, pleaded, ran around after him, texting him, his mates, what some of you have done.

 

Its been 7 weeks since my BU and deactivating my facebook and 15 days of hardcore NC.

 

I can honestly say guys as time goes I am feeling happier within myself. If anything I only thing I ever regret was begging, crying, pleading. I have never been a dumpee before so I had no idea how to react but to beg and so on.

 

I can say I am very thankful I was dumped. Its made me a very strong person today. I have learnt I WILL NEVER LET SOMEBODY TAKE ME FOR A RIDE AGAIN!!!

 

Its opened my eyes and I am learning and have realised what I am worth and what I deserve!!

 

IF I could say anything to my ex, I would thank him with pleasure for making me a better person. I would thank him for setting me free. For making me realise my mistake and also for opening my eyes as I was blind in love and ignored the red flags.

 

I cried and came on this forum, poured my heart of and was given the best advice on here. Get out, go to the gym, spend your extra money on yourself, pamper yourself. I have listened I now have my hair, eyelashes and nails done. I have lost a stone and half. I am 27 and still young. I know there is somebody out there for me. I am not angry nor upset. I am happy

 

So please guys, I promise you. It will get better!!! I know now it doesn't seem like it but it will. We don't know whats gonna happen in a years time or few months time. some of you might be single some might be in a happy relationship but as time goes on, it will get easier to move on.

 

so thanks to the people who has helped me on this site

Edited November 8, 2013 by faithfully
spelling mistake

[AnyaNova]

Some of you are wondering what is she on about?? why would somebody be glad they were a dumpee??

 

when I was first dumped I cried, begged, pleaded, ran around after him, texting him, his mates, what some of you have done.

 

Its been 7 weeks since my BU and deactivating my facebook and 15 days of hardcore NC.

 

I can honestly say guys as time goes I am feeling happier within myself. If anything I only thing I ever regret was begging, crying, pleading. I have never been a dumpee before so I had no idea how to react but to beg and so on.

 

I can say I am very thankful I was dumped. Its made me a very strong person today. I have learnt I WILL NEVER LET SOMEBODY TAKE ME FOR A RIDE AGAIN!!!

 

Its opened my eyes and I am learning and have realised what I am worth and what I deserve!!

 

IF I could say anything to my ex, I would thank him with pleasure for making me a better person. I would thank him for setting me free. For making me realise my mistake and also for opening my eyes as I was blind in love and ignored the red flags.

 

I cried and came on this forum, poured my heart of and was given the best advice on here. Get out, go to the gym, spend your extra money on yourself, pamper yourself. I have listened I now have my hair, eyelashes and nails done. I have lost a stone and half. I am 27 and still young. I know there is somebody out there for me. I am not angry nor upset. I am happy

 

So please guys, I promise you. It will get better!!! I know now it doesn't seem like it but it will. We don't know whats gonna happen in a years time or few months time. some of you might be single some might be in a happy relationship but as time goes on, it will get easier to move on.

 

so thanks to the people who has helped me on this site

 

I like the way you think!!!

[xUnknown]

Some of you are wondering what is she on about?? why would somebody be glad they were a dumpee??

 

when I was first dumped I cried, begged, pleaded, ran around after him, texting him, his mates, what some of you have done.

 

Its been 7 weeks since my BU and deactivating my facebook and 15 days of hardcore NC.

 

I can honestly say guys as time goes I am feeling happier within myself. If anything I only thing I ever regret was begging, crying, pleading. I have never been a dumpee before so I had no idea how to react but to beg and so on.

 

I can say I am very thankful I was dumped. Its made me a very strong person today. I have learnt I WILL NEVER LET SOMEBODY TAKE ME FOR A RIDE AGAIN!!!

 

Its opened my eyes and I am learning and have realised what I am worth and what I deserve!!

 

IF I could say anything to my ex, I would thank him with pleasure for making me a better person. I would thank him for setting me free. For making me realise my mistake and also for opening my eyes as I was blind in love and ignored the red flags.

 

I cried and came on this forum, poured my heart of and was given the best advice on here. Get out, go to the gym, spend your extra money on yourself, pamper yourself. I have listened I now have my hair, eyelashes and nails done. I have lost a stone and half. I am 27 and still young. I know there is somebody out there for me. I am not angry nor upset. I am happy

 

So please guys, I promise you. It will get better!!! I know now it doesn't seem like it but it will. We don't know whats gonna happen in a years time or few months time. some of you might be single some might be in a happy relationship but as time goes on, it will get easier to move on.

 

so thanks to the people who has helped me on this site

 

I'm very happy for you. Today is the 4 week mark since the BU, throw on an extra 2 for the time we were NC on break. I'm slowly starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel...or at least I'm trying to convince myself that I am - which is a start. I await the day that I wake up and no longer think about my ex, the ifs/what-ifs, the past, memories, what our future could have been etc etc.. I know time heals all wounds, its just the struggle to get there. I'm happy you have seen the positive in all of this. I have begun to, I just need to keep focused on that.

[ponchsox]

The good thing about being the dumpee is you will never have to ask yourself if you made the wrong decision if you were the dumper. They answered it for you.

[faithfully]

I'm very happy for you. Today is the 4 week mark since the BU, throw on an extra 2 for the time we were NC on break. I'm slowly starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel...or at least I'm trying to convince myself that I am - which is a start. I await the day that I wake up and no longer think about my ex, the ifs/what-ifs, the past, memories, what our future could have been etc etc.. I know time heals all wounds, its just the struggle to get there. I'm happy you have seen the positive in all of this. I have begun to, I just need to keep focused on that.

 

 

Darling its not easy, definitely not but as you said you will get there. Just have faith!!!

 

you have to think strong, occupy your mind and time so you are thinking about him. songs helped me- destiny's child survivor!! listen to it listen to the words!!

 

that day when you noo longer wake up and think about him will come maybe in a few week, a month or even years and when it does you will punch yourself and think lord jesus what was I stressing about this ex for.

 

please listen to the advice on here, you know we women we love to look good. get a pamper, get your hair done, get some nails or your toes done. anything you like to make you feel good. bake!! get a girly or close friend night in with some vodka or whatever drink you like.

 

please stay strong you will be fine. as the saying if it wasn't meant to be it wont be and clearly your relationship with your ex wasn't or you would still been together.

 

ITS NOT A BREAK UP, ITS A BREAK THROUGH

 

you will be fine, chin up girl. your a lot stronger then you think. push yourself

[GorillaTheater]

It usually takes time, distance and healing to realize this, but almost invariably a dumper has done you a big favor.

[Mariposa10]

I feel exactly like you!! I don't feel resentment towards my ex anymore.

 

I'm not healed 100% though... But I'm doing the best I can to move on and heal

[faithfully]

It usually takes time, distance and healing to realize this, but almost invariably a dumper has done you a big favor.

 

 

NOOO REGRET!!!! best thing he has done for me, glad I had to hit rock bottom to finally realise I deserve better. I am just soo thankful I can now get my life back together. I didn't think it then but now I cringe at how sad, desperate I looked, sounded, act. eeeekkkk never ever doing this again. HOW EMBARRASING!!!

[faithfully]

I feel exactly like you!! I don't feel resentment towards my ex anymore.

 

I'm not healed 100% though... But I'm doing the best I can to move on and heal

 

 

when your times right huni, you will get there. everybody heals at different pace. take your time. keep your mind occupied. keep posing and take advice from the people here. We are all in this together. we all been hurt.

[blotter]

I think when you have your heart broken and it heals it really does come back stronger. It's like your capacity to love is even bigger and more open.

[xUnknown]

Darling its not easy, definitely not but as you said you will get there. Just have faith!!!

 

you have to think strong, occupy your mind and time so you are thinking about him. songs helped me- destiny's child survivor!! listen to it listen to the words!!

 

that day when you noo longer wake up and think about him will come maybe in a few week, a month or even years and when it does you will punch yourself and think lord jesus what was I stressing about this ex for.

 

please listen to the advice on here, you know we women we love to look good. get a pamper, get your hair done, get some nails or your toes done. anything you like to make you feel good. bake!! get a girly or close friend night in with some vodka or whatever drink you like.

 

please stay strong you will be fine. as the saying if it wasn't meant to be it wont be and clearly your relationship with your ex wasn't or you would still been together.

 

ITS NOT A BREAK UP, ITS A BREAK THROUGH

 

you will be fine, chin up girl. your a lot stronger then you think. push yourself

 

 

I'm a guy and my ex is a girl hahaha, but I'll take the reciprocal of what you mentioned above LOL.

 

See, my situation is a bit complicated...I screwed up 2 years ago when I was in college - made a stupid decision that was completely out of character...now two years later, I'm on house arrest. So I can still go to work (I'm full time which is great or else I'd go insane hah). Its tough with all the free time, especially on the weekends....plus No Alcohol is a pain in the ass. I wish I could just go to the bar and grab a beer with my buds but I can't. Hell, even just going out and talking to girls would help me, but that isn't the case either. I guess for me, I have to focus on the negatives also. My ex was with me all the way through my legal ****. 2 weeks into the house arrest she wants the break and 2 weeks later were done. I need to remind myself that if she decided to leave when the going got tough and not willing to work through it - then why would I want her...(even though it has been a bumpy ride for the past few months). Thats the key point I need to keep telling myself to keep her out of my thoughts and remind myself "I can do better, I deserve better".

[faithfully]

I think when you have your heart broken and it heals it really does come back stronger. It's like your capacity to love is even bigger and more open.

 

 

yeahh you are very right. Don't get me wrong. I'm farr from perfect but why waste my life in mourning after somebody who DOESNT WANNA BE WITH ME?? Time doesn't wait for noo body!!

[tma]

This is really nice to hear, almost gives me hope. It has been 2 months since my breakup, and I guess basically 2 days since NC :S. I was the dumper and realized I made a mistake almost immediately, but he was too hurt and didn't feel he could come back from it or feel sure about me again. So I stuck around and tried to make things better and keep in contact, but it ended up hurting me more than anything. So here I am trying to get past things and move on and live with my mistake, but it is so hard. I can't imagine being stuck with these feelings for much longer, it just hurts way too much.

I'm glad that the break up was a healing experience for you and that you were able to heal from it and come out happier. I hope that can happen for me too.

[xUnknown]

This is really nice to hear, almost gives me hope. It has been 2 months since my breakup, and I guess basically 2 days since NC :S. I was the dumper and realized I made a mistake almost immediately, but he was too hurt and didn't feel he could come back from it or feel sure about me again. So I stuck around and tried to make things better and keep in contact, but it ended up hurting me more than anything. So here I am trying to get past things and move on and live with my mistake, but it is so hard. I can't imagine being stuck with these feelings for much longer, it just hurts way too much.

I'm glad that the break up was a healing experience for you and that you were able to heal from it and come out happier. I hope that can happen for me too.

 

Not to thread jack, but how long until you realized the mistake you made? I've heard a few months to even a few years it happens, but they always come back eventually.

 

Nevermind...I just read the first sentence. HAH

Edited November 9, 2013 by xUnknown

[Mz_sassy_77]

I can honestly say guys as time goes I am feeling happier within myself. If anything I only thing I ever regret was begging, crying, pleading. I have never been a dumpee before so I had no idea how to react but to beg and so on.

 

I can say I am very thankful I was dumped. Its made me a very strong person today. I have learnt I WILL NEVER LET SOMEBODY TAKE ME FOR A RIDE AGAIN!!!

 

 

Me too. As a matter of fact the RS was so toxic and I was so unhappy in it all the time now i am just feeling sooo free. And free = happy for me. I too did the begging the first time we BU but felt so pathetic I vowed never to do it again. And i never did so that was a good lesson learned. And I too will never let someone take me for a ride. Sometimes the best thing is to let the RS go. Even if you love someone doesn't mean it's a good thing for you.

[faithfully]

This is really nice to hear, almost gives me hope. It has been 2 months since my breakup, and I guess basically 2 days since NC :S. I was the dumper and realized I made a mistake almost immediately, but he was too hurt and didn't feel he could come back from it or feel sure about me again. So I stuck around and tried to make things better and keep in contact, but it ended up hurting me more than anything. So here I am trying to get past things and move on and live with my mistake, but it is so hard. I can't imagine being stuck with these feelings for much longer, it just hurts way too much.

I'm glad that the break up was a healing experience for you and that you were able to heal from it and come out happier. I hope that can happen for me too.

 

 

this is all part of life, we learn from our experience and mistake and NC is seriously the best way to go about it. It will get easier as the day go on. Focus on yourself, try new things, Its not easy. not for once do I think that but gets better with time.

 

you have to fully except the fact you might not get back with the guy and think an ex is an ex for a reason. You said you reached and tried to get back and nothing. Then think well ive tried, nothing more I can do but to move on. Say I will not waste my time or day on somebody who does not want me or want me back. We cant force people to love, want us.

 

Read, grab a book and read. this helps. I am currently reading the power of now. great book.

[UnknownFX]

Some of you are wondering what is she on about?? why would somebody be glad they were a dumpee??

 

when I was first dumped I cried, begged, pleaded, ran around after him, texting him, his mates, what some of you have done.

 

Its been 7 weeks since my BU and deactivating my facebook and 15 days of hardcore NC.

 

I can honestly say guys as time goes I am feeling happier within myself. If anything I only thing I ever regret was begging, crying, pleading. I have never been a dumpee before so I had no idea how to react but to beg and so on.

 

I can say I am very thankful I was dumped. Its made me a very strong person today. I have learnt I WILL NEVER LET SOMEBODY TAKE ME FOR A RIDE AGAIN!!!

 

Its opened my eyes and I am learning and have realised what I am worth and what I deserve!!

 

IF I could say anything to my ex, I would thank him with pleasure for making me a better person. I would thank him for setting me free. For making me realise my mistake and also for opening my eyes as I was blind in love and ignored the red flags.

 

I cried and came on this forum, poured my heart of and was given the best advice on here. Get out, go to the gym, spend your extra money on yourself, pamper yourself. I have listened I now have my hair, eyelashes and nails done. I have lost a stone and half. I am 27 and still young. I know there is somebody out there for me. I am not angry nor upset. I am happy

 

So please guys, I promise you. It will get better!!! I know now it doesn't seem like it but it will. We don't know whats gonna happen in a years time or few months time. some of you might be single some might be in a happy relationship but as time goes on, it will get easier to move on.

 

so thanks to the people who has helped me on this site

 

This is crazy, I also feel the same way you feel every bit of it, I feel like a new stronger person. Something I never felt before

[faithfully]

This is crazy, I also feel the same way you feel every bit of it, I feel like a new stronger person. Something I never felt before

 

 

You can agree with me but best wayy to be, am glad you are feeling better. We live and learn which makes us stronger!!!

[xpaperxcutx]

Hey faithfully, your thread made my day.

 

It's been more than a month since my ex dumped me and in the beginning I did the begging and crying and realized it was getting me nowhere. My friends encouraged me to go NC and it's been therapeutic.

 

I thought i couldn't live without him but time really passes when I'm worried about my classes and finals.

 

I had a fear of being alone, but in this time span since the breakup I have also gained something else- friends. I didn't rebound like him.

 

The attention is on myself for once, not whether my ex is calling me or not. Although i still check my phone from time to time, I'm also resigned about the relationship being dead. It didn't work out so it had to die. In my mind I'm burying it and I'm not reminescing as much as i had in the beginning.

 

When someone dumps you, the only way anything will ever work out is if they decide that there is no one else better than us.

[ponchsox]

Hey faithfully, your thread made my day.

 

It's been more than a month since my ex dumped me and in the beginning I did the begging and crying and realized it was getting me nowhere. My friends encouraged me to go NC and it's been therapeutic.

 

I thought i couldn't live without him but time really passes when I'm worried about my classes and finals.

 

I had a fear of being alone, but in this time span since the breakup I have also gained something else- friends. I didn't rebound like him.

 

The attention is on myself for once, not whether my ex is calling me or not. Although i still check my phone from time to time, I'm also resigned about the relationship being dead. It didn't work out so it had to die. In my mind I'm burying it and I'm not reminescing as much as i had in the beginning.

 

When someone dumps you, the only way anything will ever work out is if they decide that there is no one else better than us.

 

For me to get back with someone who dumped me, they would have to regret it almost immediately. I'm not going to be plan B and eventually chances are I moved on and found someone else to date.

[xpaperxcutx]

For me to get back with someone who dumped me, they would have to regret it almost immediately. I'm not going to be plan B and eventually chances are I moved on and found someone else to date.

 

See, i read enough to know dumpers do not regret, at least not immediately. The decision to dump someone occurs over time, before the dumpee ever even had the knowledge that a breakup was going to happen. The decision to dump someone can take place over weeks and month, when the dumper is rehashing over whether to dump is the right decision or not, and so that when it actually does happen, they're instantaneously relieved by their decision.

 

Do they feel guilty? No. Thats why NC is there to protect the Dumpee, because NC lets the dumpee move on from a decision they did not agree with.

 

Do exes come back? I don't know. And i can't care anymore. Because it's unhealthy for me to stay stuck in a dead relationship.

 

I have goals and I have dreams for myself.

[barky2]

Best part of being dumpee?

 

You get to take this time to reinvent yourself.

 

You get to take this time to rediscover who you truly are and what you truly want.

 

While they just continue on their merry way, not changing, just getting by.

 

Who truly wins in the end?

 

 

 

 

Barky

[faithfully]

For me to get back with someone who dumped me, they would have to regret it almost immediately. I'm not going to be plan B and eventually chances are I moved on and found someone else to date.

 

 

just remember AN EX IS AN EX FOR A RESON:)

[faithfully]

Best part of being dumpee?

 

You get to take this time to reinvent yourself.

 

You get to take this time to rediscover who you truly are and what you truly want.

 

While they just continue on their merry way, not changing, just getting by.

 

Who truly wins in the end?

 

 

 

 

Barky

 

 

 

THANK YOU,

 

your thread helped me and I refuse to look back

[Honour14]

hey!!!!!! ya!!!!!!!! sounds awesome!!!!!!!!! I realised!!!!!!!! I am also glad to be a dumpee!!!! Cheers mate!!!!!!!!!