at20 Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 (edited) Hi everybody. This is my first post here. I'll describe my personality real quick. I'm 26 and my job is an Engineer. My whole life (as far back as I can remember) I have had serious anxiety problems. I'm on the extreme end of the social anxiety scale. For example; day-to-day things like shopping can be a big deal for me. I get sweaty palms, I clench my teeth. I'm afraid of smiling. I'm afraid of looking people in the eye. I fumble notes and coins and take forever to get the right change. I bump people accidentally and apologize profusely to them. I think you get the picture. I'm very nervous. Unusually, though, I seem to be able to meet a lot of girls. Surprised? Me too. Girls often make the first move on me. I get a lot of responses on online dating sites, and a lot of meet-ups. And then on those extremely rare off-days where I don't feel very socially anxious, I might make a new friend. But I rarely have those days. There's no shortage of dates for me to go on, but then I always seem to screw them up. A lot of girls sever contact with me. Usually I'll get one or two dates before communication comes to a halt. I think it's my awkwardness that's driving them away. Maybe they find me "creepy"? I really really hope not. Help! Edited November 8, 2013 by at20
BreakOnThrough Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 Don't the dates and their initial attention give you confidence? If they don't they should. Really, it sounds like you are lacking confidence for no apparent reason, which the anixety may be getting in the way of. Have you sought therapy to find out what may be the problem? Some people are prone to anxiety and the condition is very treatable. I think you would have far better success if you treat the core of the issue, which is you anxiety. 1
HorseLuck Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 You sound like the male version of me, for the most part. I deal with social anxiety. Have you considered therapy?
Author at20 Posted November 9, 2013 Author Posted November 9, 2013 The dates do give me confidence. But there's something which overrides that when I come face-to-face with somebody. Often I feel much better when I'm walking or sitting next to somebody. I'm much worse in face-to-face situations like company meetings, or at a dinner table. I'm terrified of eating in front of people. I'm afraid that there'll be something stuck between my teeth when I'm talking to somebody and they'll notice it. I saw a Psychiatrist when I was a teenager for treating panic attacks (which I don't get anymore). I didn't find him useful. He would tell me stories of his own personal experiences, or stories about other people, in the hope that I would gain some kind of perspective from it. He didn't give me any actual strategies for tackling anxiety.
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