VanCal Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 (edited) I just started dating a girl, it has been about 4 weeks, she is three years older than me, she seems to have her Sh-i-t together.. for once no past relationship baggage! Lol. she is fun to be around and I enjoy her company. The first two weeks went really well she would initiate a lot of contact and I would reciprocate. i have come on too strong in past relationships so I have been trying to watch myself.. I’m trying to mirror her effort. She would contact me once or twice a day (maybe have a little conversation) and I would do the same and we have been on about 5 or 6 dates together one she invited me out with her friends. Which went well. She would talk about other pubs or places we should check out together, nothing like far future talk but as she sees this as having dating potential. Third week in and there was a little less contact she would still initiate but it wasn’t as often and then she went away for a few days, which she still messaged me while away The fourth week in… last Saturday I setup a date to meetup after she finished work. she said sounds good. Saturday came and she ended up finishing late and was really tired and asked to rescheduled for the next day Sunday, I said ok, well Sunday came and then she gave me another excuse she forgot that she had to stay back at work for a certain matter. and finished late again so she couldn’t make it. She didn’t reschedule this time, I told her no worries. Monday comes and I make one more attempt I asked her if she was busy that night she responds that her work friends want to go watch the football at the pub and asked if I wanted to come along. i agreed. she was talking about how exhausted she was and acting aloof, didn’t really converse much and seemed miserable. At this point I started to think that she was just not that into me anymore. Well when I walked her to her car she began hugging me and started kissing me, I was abit confused by the hot and cold. She apologized for being so busy with work. I said no problems as long as that’s all it was and we started talking a bit more and asked her if she was still interested in seeing me? (I know stupid mistake but I just wanted to know where this was going, if not I was ready to walk away now while its still early) she said she did and she liked me but she just is really busy with work and blurted out that she wished I came into her life after Christmas instead of now on the account of it being the busiest time of the year at work. So since Monday the contact has died down more, she won’t initiate much, I messaged her once every other day and she responds enthusiastic and is affectionate. I don’t feel like she has lost all interest but seems it’s definitely has dropped a bit. I get the sense that she thinks I like her more than she likes me now…I don’t know if I’m over analyzing too much but what would be the best course of action here? Its still early do you think this could turn around or once its starts going down it stays down? Would laying off the contact or not asking her out again too soon help balance it out? Edited November 8, 2013 by VanCal
Author VanCal Posted November 9, 2013 Author Posted November 9, 2013 too long a post? or just nothing there?
Uwaae Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 I'm so glad that you KNEW where you went wrong, by asking her that stupid question. My advice would be, to text her one last time, no more "Good mornings, and "How are you" , you should say "Contact me next time you wanna go out and have some fun" And leave the ball in her court, after that, no more texting
MalachiX Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 What do you want out of this? If you take her at her word and she's very busy, you need to decide if you're ok with this relationship being a bit casual. Maybe you won't get to see each other a lot but you might still enjoy when you do. I'm OK with that sometimes (especially if I'm also busy). I agree that you shouldn't make yourself super available though since that may allow her to take you for granted. If you need something more than give it a week or two and then tell her how you feel. If she's not game then move on.
Uwaae Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 What do you want out of this? If you take her at her word and she's very busy, you need to decide if you're ok with this relationship being a bit casual. Maybe you won't get to see each other a lot but you might still enjoy when you do. I'm OK with that sometimes (especially if I'm also busy). I agree that you shouldn't make yourself super available though since that may allow her to take you for granted. If you need something more than give it a week or two and then tell her how you feel. If she's not game then move on. Telling someone how you feel after a week?? hahahaha I dont agree with that at all
Author VanCal Posted November 20, 2013 Author Posted November 20, 2013 Lol so that was a waste of time..since last time i posted...the girl still initiated the contact and then she posted something on fb about being single and loving it lol so i took that as my cue to move on. i sent her a friendly text saying "i guess i should read between the lines all good thanks for some fun nights" she got back to me saying "aww no it wasn't for me at all, she is so busy with work (which is bs because she goes out after work all the time) and is sorry for misleading me wasn't her intention blah blah but she is not going anywhere and would really like to still keep in touch and when i get back from my vacation next year (Feb) she would like to see where this goes, coz her feelings were real" lol so i though maybe thats all it is she knows im going away for awhile and doesn't want to start anything serious. i told her sure i would like to keep in touch. that was early last week, i sent her a message on monday just saying hey hows it going? and she ignored my message (it was marked down as read). A last attempt i won't try again! i know she isn't interested now but why make up excuses she had her way out, why not just leave it at that not tell me to keep in touch. lol did i take that too literally... was she just trying to be nice? im just used to being straight up with someone, if i'm dating a girl and i see im not that interested i just say so then and there. i don't ignore them or string them along. its kind of annoying.. lol that was my rant.
Recommended Posts