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"you can have any guy u want"

ampxo

By ampxo
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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ampxo Member

ampxo

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I'm sick of hearing this. My friends, family, everyone I know keeps telling me "you can have any guy you want" or "any guy would be lucky to have you" .. "you're a kind person you're beautiful. Blah blah.... I got my heart broken last year and it took me so long to finally get over it. Then I met someone who I fell for. Thought was perfect for me and thanked God that I got through that heartbreak because ive found the one I was suppose to be with. Now he doesn't want me either. I'm heart broken all over again. I feel dumb for letting myself believe that it was the real thing this time. Call me a hopeless romantic I guess.. I don't fall for every guy that comes my way. In fact I don't fall easily at all. I don't let my gaurd down easy but when I do, I get slapped in the face. My rant for the day, sorry folks

aybc123 Established Member

aybc123

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It's called a platitude, it's just a social convention because people don't know what else to say and are being friendly, just smile and ignore it.

 

Also when you say you thought the first one was the one, and then you thought the second one was the one etc. Maybe all of them are the one? What i mean is, it's not so much the specific person, it's just the way a person of a type (of which there will be literally millions) is capable of making you feel.

 

Basically you will feel like the next one is the one too, and will continue to until one of them is actually a good enough match to stick.

xUnknown Established Member

xUnknown

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Based on your avatar... I agree with them.

 

I have to say I agree as well.

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pteromom Established Member

pteromom

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Being capable of attracting a lot of guys (which you are) isn't the same thing as CHOOSING the right guys (which you aren't).

 

Don't settle for just any guy who wants you. Have standards, and make sure that a guy is someone with honesty and integrity and wants the same things you want.

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aybc123 Established Member

aybc123

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Skid Mark

Based on your avatar... I agree with them.

 

I have to say I agree as well.

 

:rolleyes:

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ampxo Member

ampxo

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Ive written a list of things that I know I need to work on, & things that I need to improve on in order for our relationship to work. All relationships, even the greatest ones need work right? I want to send him a text basically saying that i love him, & I'm sorry that I'm the reason why things are the way they are right now. If he loves me, like I believe he does. Is it worth expressing to him that I'm willing to make changes I need to make. Or should I leave him alone & let him come back to me.. if he ever does. I'm usually the stubborn one that doesn't express how I feel when times are tough, but being stubborn hasn't gotten me no where. Ob fact its what lead this breakup. From me not being able to communicate and running in the opposite direction whenever they're is a problem. Should I try to talk to him, or is that never a good idea. Cause from what ive read is that no contact is the best way to get someone back.

xUnknown Established Member

xUnknown

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Posted
Ive written a list of things that I know I need to work on, & things that I need to improve on in order for our relationship to work. All relationships, even the greatest ones need work right? I want to send him a text basically saying that i love him, & I'm sorry that I'm the reason why things are the way they are right now. If he loves me, like I believe he does. Is it worth expressing to him that I'm willing to make changes I need to make. Or should I leave him alone & let him come back to me.. if he ever does. I'm usually the stubborn one that doesn't express how I feel when times are tough, but being stubborn hasn't gotten me no where. Ob fact its what lead this breakup. From me not being able to communicate and running in the opposite direction whenever they're is a problem. Should I try to talk to him, or is that never a good idea. Cause from what ive read is that no contact is the best way to get someone back.

How long ago did you two break up? Everything is probably still fresh. I wanted to do the same. I even wrote a letter, but did not send it. Sometimes its writing your emotions down help you cope with the hurt. I was in your shoes. My ex asked to talk...I knew what it was about and I went off and told her what I know I need to work on and how I am actively working on these things and how I'm going to change. This was all before she expressed that we needed a "break". If he knows you love you, he knows you're willing to work on things for the better of the relationship. My ex know I wanted to, and was actively doing it...but it all comes down to them. She didn't know what she wanted and we both were going through tough times. Sometimes its better to just leave things be...which is where I would suggest keep going NC.

Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

Posted
Posted
Ive written a list of things that I know I need to work on, & things that I need to improve on in order for our relationship to work. All relationships, even the greatest ones need work right? I want to send him a text basically saying that i love him, & I'm sorry that I'm the reason why things are the way they are right now. If he loves me, like I believe he does. Is it worth expressing to him that I'm willing to make changes I need to make. Or should I leave him alone & let him come back to me.. if he ever does. I'm usually the stubborn one that doesn't express how I feel when times are tough, but being stubborn hasn't gotten me no where. Ob fact its what lead this breakup. From me not being able to communicate and running in the opposite direction whenever they're is a problem. Should I try to talk to him, or is that never a good idea. Cause from what ive read is that no contact is the best way to get someone back.

 

You guys have broken up five times in six months. Instead of banging your head against the wall with this guy, why not re-evaluate your screening process and find a guy that you won't have constant drama with? This guy and you are not compatible. Take this as a learning experience and use it for the next guy.

  • Like 3
crazybestie101 Established Member

crazybestie101

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I'm sick of hearing this. My friends, family, everyone I know keeps telling me "you can have any guy you want" or "any guy would be lucky to have you" .. "you're a kind person you're beautiful. Blah blah.... I got my heart broken last year and it took me so long to finally get over it. Then I met someone who I fell for. Thought was perfect for me and thanked God that I got through that heartbreak because ive found the one I was suppose to be with. Now he doesn't want me either. I'm heart broken all over again. I feel dumb for letting myself believe that it was the real thing this time. Call me a hopeless romantic I guess.. I don't fall for every guy that comes my way. In fact I don't fall easily at all. I don't let my gaurd down easy but when I do, I get slapped in the face. My rant for the day, sorry folks

 

This is so like my story. I went through 2 relationship. Learned a lot from 1st relation , put those lesson into effect in 2nd relationship but still got dumped. For 2 nd guy , it was brief but i fell really hard for him in short amount of time. We were so similar , that the moment i met him we hit right off. I was so happy to meet him that , felt glad that my 1st relationship didn't worked out. It was everything i wanted in relation , just like perfect fairy tale until one day out of blue he decided to end everything. Let me tell you i went head over heels for this guy until last month ( read my recent thread). I actually cant believe my heart is broken after learning all these mistakes. I am so hurt that i am sure i wont even fall for any one , i tell people that i will never date again. I CANT trust any guy now. Feels like i will never find love again. life sucks:mad:

pteromom Established Member

pteromom

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Posted
Ive written a list of things that I know I need to work on, & things that I need to improve on in order for our relationship to work. All relationships, even the greatest ones need work right? I want to send him a text basically saying that i love him, & I'm sorry that I'm the reason why things are the way they are right now.

 

What?

 

This is the guy who insisted you change your hair color and makeup and wanted you to look like a model at all times, right?

 

So how is it YOUR FAULT?

 

You didn't do a good enough job looking like a model?

 

???????????

 

You can do better than this guy. Much much better.

 

Ignore your heart - it's being stupid right now (no offense, that's what hearts do). Pay attention to your head and don't settle for this.

pteromom Established Member

pteromom

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Call me a hopeless romantic I guess.. I don't fall for every guy that comes my way. In fact I don't fall easily at all. I don't let my gaurd down easy but when I do, I get slapped in the face. My rant for the day, sorry folks

 

You let your guard down for the wrong guy.

 

One of the FIRST things you should look for in a partner is that they accept, respect, and love you for exactly who you are. They shouldn't be wanting to mold you into some sort of ideal in their head, or making you feel "less than" for who you really are.

 

If a guy starts telling you how to make yourself better, that's the time to keep that guard up and reinforce it with barb wire and padlocks.

 

You don't let someone like that in.

  • Like 2
blotter Established Member

blotter

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It's probably the type of guys you are choosing. Cmon be honest they are those douchebag alpha types right? They are so good looking but treat you like dog****e right?

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ampxo Member

ampxo

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It's probably the type of guys you are choosing. Cmon be honest they are those douchebag alpha types right? They are so good looking but treat you like dog****e right?

 

Lol yup, dead on. I fall for the *******s, player type of guys & wonder why I get hurt in the end.

Phoe Established Member

Phoe

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I'm sick of hearing this. My friends, family, everyone I know keeps telling me "you can have any guy you want" or "any guy would be lucky to have you" .

 

 

I get it too. It's irritating. Like anybody has a single clue how you feel -.-

 

 

The only thing you can do is smile and push it to the back of your mind. Let it roll off your back.

  • Like 1
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ampxo Member

ampxo

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What?

 

This is the guy who insisted you change your hair color and makeup and wanted you to look like a model at all times, right?

 

So how is it YOUR FAULT?

 

You didn't do a good enough job looking like a model?

 

???????????

 

You can do better than this guy. Much much better.

 

Ignore your heart - it's being stupid right now (no offense, that's what hearts do). Pay attention to your head and don't settle for this.

 

I know none of it seems logical from most peoples point of view. Reading some of the facts I have given you regarding our relationship & I shouldn't jusifiy some of the things he's said or done. I wish I could just get over it & move on but I feel helpless and almost desperate in this situation because I still want him.. despite all of his a**hole tendencies

faithfully Established Member

faithfully

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we all make mistake. that's what makes us human. just learn from it!! your young anyways. I'm sure you will find a decent guy who will value ur worth and treat you how you deserve to be treated :)

 

maybe just be single for abit tho

JDPT Established Member

JDPT

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I wouldn't worry about guys or dating for now.

  • Like 1
Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

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I know none of it seems logical from most peoples point of view. Reading some of the facts I have given you regarding our relationship & I shouldn't jusifiy some of the things he's said or done. I wish I could just get over it & move on but I feel helpless and almost desperate in this situation because I still want him.. despite all of his a**hole tendencies

 

Because you are immature. That's not meant to be insulting, because lot of younger women do this -- they fall for the a-hole, player types because they like a challenge and because they find them exciting. Unfortunately, they don't know how to tell the difference between an exciting, charismatic guy and the cocky, arrogant douchebag until the cocky, arrogant douchebag has hooked them. Then they are too immature to just walk away from the table -- they think they can "change" them into the exciting, charismatic guy who is a great boyfriend. That's what you are doing and it seems like it's a pattern for you. You really need to just stay away from men and figure out how to tell the difference between a good, exciting guy and a arrogant di*khole. Because honey, your radar is off-kilter.

  • Like 3
pteromom Established Member

pteromom

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I know none of it seems logical from most peoples point of view. Reading some of the facts I have given you regarding our relationship & I shouldn't jusifiy some of the things he's said or done. I wish I could just get over it & move on but I feel helpless and almost desperate in this situation because I still want him.. despite all of his a**hole tendencies

 

Your emotions and your actions don't have to line up. You can still want him emotionally AND realize logically that it isn't in your best interest, and sit on your hands when you want to call him or pick up the phone.

 

One thing that will make you feel less helpless is to BE less helpless.

  • Like 1
Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

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A friend of mine that happens to be a girl once told me that girls tend to date the bad boys but marry the good guys.

 

Perhaps it's time you find yourself a good guy. You need to give the guy that might not be the BEST looking; cute, but not male model material kind of guy a shot. He might have a boring job, like a data processor, or an accountant. He keeps after his hygiene, but isn't up on the latest fashions. Maybe even volunteers his time to help others.

 

Sounds boring and not what you would be after, but those are the kind of guys that are going to treat you like gold. They'll probably treat you with kindness, love and respect. And they'll be the perfect partner to walk through life with.

 

My friend went on to make the comparison about "size does matter, just not in the way you would think." She has been with a guy that was big and a guy that was average. She stated that she would take an average guy over someone that was huge any day and this is why.

 

If a guy is big, he knows it. He's been told that before and it inflates his ego to the point that BECAUSE he big, he thinks that's all he needs to satisfy a woman. Therefore, he's not too inventive and very mechanical and usually a very selfish lover. If a guy is average. Well, he knows that too. But, he make the extra effort to explore a girl. To make her comfortable and feel good and she stated that nice guys always FINISHES last......everytime.

 

So, it's the same with life. They know they're pretty boys. They know that they'll get hit on at the clubs and that makes them selfish and ego maniacs. They'll think that their good looks and their presence is all that would be required to get into your life and into your pants. So, your Ex is got that pretty boy ego "that I can have anyone I want" attitude. Well, let him go. There are a lot of guys out there what would love a shot. An opportunity to show you how a REAL man treats a woman. Notice I used the word man and not player. Maybe you'll find out that average is pretty awesome.

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