Axee Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 I am on 1 month and 5 days of NC.. I thought I will be moving on and hence specifically asked him not to contact me in any form whatsoever in case he decides that he cannot commit to me.. His reason for the breakup was he is not able to take a concrete decision about commitment and this relationship is therefore going nowhere...So I gave him an ultimatum to decide yes or no and free me from this limbo.. and he said the next day... "that somehow think it wont work out"... I went NC after that .. I am not able to move on and still feel in the same limbo .. somehow I feel he is gonna come back.But I really don't know how and when it will happen... I am thinking over and over how to reinitiate contact.. What to do?
Zahara Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 I am on 1 month and 5 days of NC.. I thought I will be moving on and hence specifically asked him not to contact me in any form whatsoever in case he decides that he cannot commit to me.. His reason for the breakup was he is not able to take a concrete decision about commitment and this relationship is therefore going nowhere...So I gave him an ultimatum to decide yes or no and free me from this limbo.. and he said the next day... "that somehow think it wont work out"... I went NC after that .. I am not able to move on and still feel in the same limbo .. somehow I feel he is gonna come back.But I really don't know how and when it will happen... I am thinking over and over how to reinitiate contact.. What to do? Reinitiate contact? Why? It isn't enough that a guy tells you he doesn't want to be committed to you, then you actually want to reach out again to do what? See if he's changed his mind? Stop it. The man told you it won't work. That is your push to move on. And he will probably come sniffing around when he's bored, has no options or is just seeking an ego boost. Unless HE comes back to you declaring commitment and even then I would be skeptical, you don't go chasing him. Stay NC.
BC1980 Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 I am on 1 month and 5 days of NC.. I thought I will be moving on and hence specifically asked him not to contact me in any form whatsoever in case he decides that he cannot commit to me.. His reason for the breakup was he is not able to take a concrete decision about commitment and this relationship is therefore going nowhere...So I gave him an ultimatum to decide yes or no and free me from this limbo.. and he said the next day... "that somehow think it wont work out"... I went NC after that .. I am not able to move on and still feel in the same limbo .. somehow I feel he is gonna come back.But I really don't know how and when it will happen... I am thinking over and over how to reinitiate contact.. What to do? My situation is very similar. I would not advise any tupe of communication with someone who is waffling. The truth is that they want you around in case they change their minds, so it only serves them to have you in the background. These people can't commit to a relationship, but they are too scared to completely let you go. It's a sick dynamic, and you are much better off finding someone who wants you with no hesitation. As far as limbo, only you can pull yourself out of that by fully accepting that it's over. You can't rely on him to free you from limbo. My ex ia the classic unable to commit but also won't completely shut the door. I can guarantee that if you contact him again, he will still be undecided. They just live that way and seem to enjoy it. 1
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