Syn Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 He broke up with me via text on the 30th. A few days he emailed me; I told him to leave me be. Then I e-mailed him, we talked for a little bit, then I told him how hurt I was and he basically told me to F off. I guess he missed me or something because tonight he wanted to hang out. He comes over and is going through his facebook messages to a particular woman trying to show me a link he sent her. I caught a glimpse of a message that said "I told my ex to "f" off in 5 different languages, haven't heard from her in a week, I guess she got the hint. You're not crazy are you?" So after reading that I told him I was going to bed. I know this is *completely* wrong but I read back through that conversation and he slept with her 3 days after we broke up and is dating her now. A week after we split! I'm still in love with him and was hoping he wanted to meet up to reconcile, but I guess not. I've texted him asking him to please not contact me anymore so unless he randomly e-mails me, texts me or shows up (he tends to do that) it is 100% done. We do work together and part of me is hoping we will rekindle things when we see each other again after our job's hiatus, but I hope that hope will go away with time. Well, I guess that's my story. I joined a forum because I really need to talk about it and my friends are tired of hearing about it. I don't know if he was talking to her while he was still with me or not. The part that bothers me most is I'll never know. The conversation on Facebook doesn't start until after we broke up but it also indicates they met on a different website. The thing that also bothers me is he seems to have opened up to her in the week of knowing her more than he did our entire time knowing each other. He's very private and it took time for him to really trust and be able to open up to me, to even be affectionate or want to call me pet names. But he's already calling this woman baby and she's sending him xoxoxoxo and all that. When I tried to do that it freaked him out. And he's bragging to all his friends about how he slept with/might be dating her, but with me (and his previous ex, actually) he was a lot more private and not very open about his personal relationship. It gets me thinking... What the F was wrong with me? Why is he suddenly giving this woman the things I had to work for? When we broke up it had gotten better but it was still an uphill battle. I don't understand it. Is it really possible that he was with me, and then less than a week later Poof! He meets his princess that makes him want to change? Sorry for the length of this post. I am having so many things go through my head right now, so many unanswered questions. Thanks for reading if you got this far.
Inviv_girl Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 Im sorry you're going through this, what was the reason of the break up? and how old are you guys
Author Syn Posted November 8, 2013 Author Posted November 8, 2013 I don't really know what the reason was to be honest. I'm 23 and he's 25. He gave me a bunch of BS reasons, then later apologized and said he was just too busy for a relationship and he only said the previous things because he thought it would be easier if I hated him. He told one of his friends part of the reason was he wasn't attracted to my race anymore, but I think he was lying? My honest opinion is I think he got scared. He used to always tell me about how he expected people to leave him so he didn't get too close to them, he had some serious trust issues. The day before he ended things I'd had a talk with him about how I didn't want to break up, but I wasn't happy because I wasn't feeling enough affection coming from him. I named some specific things that (imo) were easy fixes, but he never responded and about 12 hours later he texted me saying it was over. So I think he suspected I was going to leave him so he left me first. But I don't know - maybe he really wasn't attracted to me anymore and that's where the lack of affection was coming from. I really have no idea the real reason he ended things.
greenfairie Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 Don't take my word for it but I'll give words in the best way I can say. We're in a similar situation. My ex's about two years older, he's 23 and I'm 21. He would give me all these BS reasons about how I lived too far (but in fact, at the time he told me I was living only 20-30 mins away and when we started dating, I was more than an hr away so I knew he was bull****ting) and how I would do this and that that bothered him. It sounds like he's not over you since he's still contacting you but doesn't know how to deal with it because he doesn't know what he wants for sure yet. And the fact he said **** off? What did you do to piss him off that bad? I had that happen to me. I was told this, "**** off. Quit stalking me." when I texted him one time, Hope you're having fun in Arizona when his friend posted a picture on Instagram with both of them in Arizona. Really? Seeing a mutual friend post a picture on social media that's out of my control makes me a stalker? Cool, see ya. I stopped replying, I guess in a way, I'm thankful he said that so it really forced me to wake up and stop doing what I was doing. It sucks. That girl's also probably a rebound because three days after the breakup? Really? How long have you known this guy though? And how long was the relationship? Taking care of yourself is the best thing you can do for yourself right now.
greenfairie Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 Oh, and the fact he said to his friend that he doesn't like your race anymore? What an *******. I would really like to know what you did so bad to make him act so cruel. That would be my question for him. If there's no actual reason, what an ass. It's probably for the best. You deserve so much better. The right guy for you would never treat you like that or talk about you like that.
Author Syn Posted November 8, 2013 Author Posted November 8, 2013 I've known him a year. We were only official for two months, but we were kind-of dating for the better half of a year, if that makes any sense. Basically, the same thing happened back in (May?)... He would say he wanted to date me, then say he wasn't interested, then say he wanted to date me. Acted like my boyfriend for a month or two, dumped me, said he wasn't attracted to me anymore, started seeing someone else shortly after. I didn't know about the other person until months down the road though, so it didn't hit as hard as this is. We remain friends and act somewhat-couply, then in September I got tired of waiting around for him and started seeing other people. He got jealous, I guess, because shortly after that he called me up and said he wanted to date me. We had a bunch of serious talks about how he wasn't ready for a serious relationship before, he is now, he isn't going to just walk out like that again, he was scared, blahblahblah. Two months later, he dumps me again. As for the F off, he was e-mailing me trying to act as if nothing happened, how was your day how was work etc. I asked him to hang out and he bailed on me, which he did frequently, so I went off about how much it hurt that he'd always go out and do fun things with other women when we were together but most of what we did was hang out at my apartment and I could never get him to actually follow through on plans with me. Then he told me to F off because I was making him (do an addiction he has, which I won't mention publicly just for privacy reasons.) So I guess he felt guilty. I probably shouldn't have gone off on him in any case, but I didn't like going on as if he hadn't just broken up with me the day before hand. When he broke up with me he told me it was because we argued too much, among other things, he also told me to "get out of [his] life past, present and future." But then he texted me apologizing and saying he didn't mean that and just wanted me to hate him so it would be easier for me to let go. Then he slipped a note under my door that same night basically reiterating the same thing. See why I'm so confused?! lol
Author Syn Posted November 8, 2013 Author Posted November 8, 2013 (edited) And wow, yeah, definitely not a stalker-move to comment on a Facebook picture. I do not get that! What is with some guys and the F off move?! Edited to add than when I was answering your question, greenfairie, I realized this is the exact same thing he did to me back in May. I had actually forgotten about that, but it helps a little thinking that history repeats itself... instead of thinking I finally had what I wanted after all that time and messed it up somehow. Edited November 8, 2013 by Syn
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