brettman Posted December 16, 2004 Posted December 16, 2004 Hi, my girlfriend is starting to get on my nerves and I'm finding I'm left out of her life so much lately. She is 25 years old and has 2 other sisters and an older brother. The thing is lately (it wasn't like this in the past) she is doing everything her high achieving younger sister is telling her to do - all the time. If we are going to meet up and her younger sister needs a ride somewhere, our meeting gets cancelled or put on hold and she does whatever her younger sister wants. My girlfriend also only ever goes shopping for clothes etc now with her younger sister, and whenever I see her wearing something new I'm always told - her younger sister selected it for her and how my girlfriend says her younger sister is so good at selecting clothes. Whenever there's a choice between me getting something or her younger sister getting something (as in my girlfriend has to chose) - guess who gets it - her younger sister. My girlfriend also ALWAYS washes all my younger sisters clothes for her and cleans up after her day after day. Is this nomal? I know my girlfriends younger sister myself and she is a very loud and dominating kind of girl. Very "take no bull****" kind of girl who kicks up a real fuss when she doesn't get her way, I've heard it over the phone many times. Note my girlfriend lives with her sisters still at home. Is my girlfriend a real suck up? So what do I do in this situation? My girlfriend always listens to her younger sister and not to me anymore - in the past it was different - but the younger sister has grown up now and is 18 and just seems the complete focus is on her these days and I'm forgotten about. What can I do to get my girlfriend to see what she is doing is: 1) Not very nice to me 2) A bit sick generally speaking Personally I don't have anything against her younger sister, and I don't want to either - but its getting too much. How do I get my girlfriend to see her life revolves around her younger sister and thats its getting a bit sick? I am sure she gets a benefit out of it or she wouldn't be doing it, so there's a deliberate choice on my girlfriends part to keep doing this - how do I break this dependent connection she has with her younger sister? Another thing - they both have a 10 minute free thing on their mobile phones and believe me whenever I'm meeting up with my girlfriend she is on the phone quite a bit talking to her mother and younger sister about something - its like my girlfriend just can't not be in touch with them for more than a few hours. What the hell can I do about this? I feel like I'm on the outter and its almost like shes in a relationship with her own sister and not me anymore! I've talked to my girlfriend about it and she REALLY doesn't like me saying anything - she really doesn't like hearig it and she just denies it and won't listen to me.
Naive Posted December 17, 2004 Posted December 17, 2004 If you don't like the close relationship she has with her sister you should leave her because I doubt there is anything you can do to change it. Why want to change it. If I were in her place and it bothered my bf that I am so close to my susters I would tell him BYE 'cause family should always come first!!!!
Adunaphel Posted December 18, 2004 Posted December 18, 2004 Even if she is really putting her before you, there is not much you can do - many people put family before their partners. How long have you been together? Anyway, since she's not always been like this, perhaps it's just a phase and hopefully it will go away. Do you have a feeling her sister might be trying to cause trouble in your relationship? Any chances her younger sister might have some problems you are not aware of and your girlfriend is just trying to be there for her all the time and to give her as much support as she can? I guess you can't do much (and you shouldn't) about her talking to her sister on the phone so often, or about the fact that she watches her clothes or cleans up after her, or about them spending so much time together. Yet cancelling any plans she had with you because her sister needs a ride (unless it was something of vital importance) or spending a *lot* of time on the phone with her while she's somewhere with you is really rude and disrespectful, and she has to realize it. Whenever there's a choice between me getting something or her younger sister getting something (as in my girlfriend has to chose) - guess who gets it - her younger sister. Can you make an example of "getting something"? Is it presents, attention, time, favours, all of these? Why does she have to choose? Is it because she only has a limited amount of time/money to split between you and her sister, or because her sister forces her to make choices when normally both you and her could "get something"?
Nocturnalkitee Posted December 19, 2004 Posted December 19, 2004 How long have the two of you been dating? Does the younger sister have boyfriend?
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