Col1 Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 (edited) I connected with a lady online. We wrote a few times yesterday. In the morning, she sent her cell number. I wrote that I would call in the evening, and asked her to give me the best time to reach her. I called at the time she sent. I was in a quiet room sitting down for the conversation. Throughout the conversation I could hear her doing chores (dishes clanging, faucet turning on and off, kitchen disposal, cabinet doors closing, etc). Also, I could hear her television sound in the background at times. Are these phone conversation extra-curricular activities normal during first call conversations? Edited November 8, 2013 by Col1
OpheliaSong Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 I am a girl, and I think she was rude to be doing all of that. If it was my first call, and I was trying to get to know someone, my attention would be focused on you. 1
rach63 Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 If she lives alone, that **** ain't normal! She told you when to call! If she doesn't live alone, maybe she was using the tv to hide that she was talking to someone but again she told you the best time to call. Maybe she was "doing chores" because she was nervous? Either way, if the conversation went well, ask her about it or if you get the same thing next time, tell her you can't hear her very well. After all, if it's going to work out, at some point you should be able to say wtf
MidwestUSA Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 That's pretty rude. I had the a me thing happen to me. A 'scheduled 'call, with someone who was SOOOOO interested in me. He was on the road, and kept going thru areas of nonservice. Never spoke to him again, although he desperately emailed me for months. Yuck.
d0nnivain Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 You don't know how much she has going on in her life. Yes, being solely focused on you would have been ideal but if that was the only way she could fit in the call on your schedule, it says to be that she likes you.
Eternal Sunshine Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 Sounds like she doesn't give a s-t. Sorry. 1
JamesM Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 Some people need to keep their hands busy so that they can focus on a conversation better. If she had sat down and simply put the phone to her ear with no noise or nothing to keep her hands busy, then it is quite possible that she would have not been able to focus on what you were saying. Sound weird but it is true. I have a son who has similar issues. He can focus better if he keeps his hands busy. He can study much better. My own wife would have done that while we dated. Yet if we talk in person, she has no problem just looking at me and listening. Don't discount her yet as uninterested and rude without finding out more about her. Everyone is different. 1
ConstantVoyager Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 Unusual, but not a deal breaker in my book. I'd meet in person ASAP and see if she's more focused them. Some people (myself included) really do hate to talk on the phone. My boyfriend had to get used to this and now jokes that we're the only male/female couple in existence in which the male has probably called the female at least 10 times more than she's called him. So, she may end up being a great girlfriend who doesn't insist on calling you all night and day.
Zahara Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 (edited) Some people need to keep their hands busy so that they can focus on a conversation better. If she had sat down and simply put the phone to her ear with no noise or nothing to keep her hands busy, then it is quite possible that she would have not been able to focus on what you were saying. Sound weird but it is true. I have a son who has similar issues. He can focus better if he keeps his hands busy. He can study much better. My own wife would have done that while we dated. Yet if we talk in person, she has no problem just looking at me and listening. Don't discount her yet as uninterested and rude without finding out more about her. Everyone is different. I'm one of those people. I wanted to chime in but didn't want to feel like a freak but I'm glad to see I'm not the only one that behaves this way. I find myself having a better conversation with someone, especially someone new that I am nervous about when I'm involved or have my hands in other things. I find myself paying better attention and feeling at ease with the conversation. When having my first phone conversations with a new guy, I always do it when I am driving. I find it much more comfortable when I am sitting in traffic, looking around at cars, listening to the radio and talking. It relaxes me. I absolutely cannot do it sitting down in my living room, in silence. I don't know why. It feels very awkward. And if I am at home, I will have the TV on, I'll be pacing, fidgeting while I speak to the "new" guy. I'm like this only when it's in the early stages and if I'm in a place of nervousness. Once I am comfortable, I am fine just being "normal", sitting in silence and listening/participating in the conversation. Give her some time and see how your other calls progress. Edited November 8, 2013 by Zahara 1
Zahara Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 Yes, and better time would be talking to some new guy wile performing heart surgery, since hands would be pretty busy. I think I'll try that. Good on that suggestion.
runningfar Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 TV would annoy me. Chores would not. Time is in short supply, and chores don't take thought. But, TV is not something you need.
HorseLuck Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 Yes, and better time would be talking to some new guy wile performing heart surgery, since hands would be pretty busy. LOL! ^ I would be thoroughly impressed and probably gain interest! Woooohoooo, let's go: Deb's OR Flash Mob - YouTube Seriously though.. She made time for the call at least. Did the conversation go well? My ex use to do a couple of things while speaking to me on the phone. Test the waters a bit more.
devilish innocent Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 I was wondering if she had kids, and then I saw you posted a couple of weeks ago saying that you wanted to date single moms. I would think what you described would be pretty typical for a single mom. Any child(ren) would be likely to be watching television. She may even prefer it that way as then they're distracting her less when she's on the phone. She's also likely to be too busy to get chores done at any other time. If you're interested in dating single moms, then I'd recommend overlooking the background noise.
happywithlife Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 She may have just been nervous and couldn't sit still. She was keeping herself busy with chores to calm her nerves. As for the t.v. many people have them on in the background and don't watch them. She may not have even looked at the t.v. the entire time she was on the phone. Don't over analyze it. If you enjoyed chatting with her, call her and make plans to meet.
FitChick Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 If you want to date single and divorced mothers with kids, you had better get used to distractions and limited available free time.
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