Brokenguy22 Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 Hello, I was with my GF for almost 5 years, 4.9 years to be exact. While we were GF and BF, we were best friends. She ended it because of our racial differences and her parents would never speak to her again if she married me. We are by in mid 20's. My question is do I stay friends with her? I love seeing her every time and she also enjoys my company. I did do no contact for 10 days after about 2 weeks after the BU, and kept having anxiety that something would happen to her before we ever spoke again. I would wake up at night gasping because I thought something had happened to her. Then because of that I broke NC, and she said she was so lonely and sad and missed me a lot. I want her back but she says as of right now she just can't lose her family for me. Wants to remain good friends. We still hang out like once a week. Been a little over a month since the break up. She says she does not know what the future holds maybe if she is strong enough down the line we will see. SO should I stay friends with her? Or just forget it and move on? I am not gonna wait around for her, I will try and find someone else soon but would it be a bad idea to hang out with her like once a week and constantly text each other as we have been? Please Advise! Thank you!
d0nnivain Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 the reason NC can be advisable is to help people heal. It's hard to get over somebody if they are still there. If it doesn't rip your heart out & make you feel worse it's OK to stll see her
ponchsox Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 In order to fully heal it's best to move on and not be friends. Unless we were just friends to begin with, I cannot be friends with a former lover. 1
Zahara Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 If it doesn't affect you emotionally, then it's fine to hang out. But if it bothers you, then don't. You can't be friends when you're emotional about someone. The fact that you both broke contact because your anxiety levels were high is a sign that its not in your best interest. 1
Author Brokenguy22 Posted November 8, 2013 Author Posted November 8, 2013 Thanks for the advice!Yeah she said she still loves me and has those feelings but we cant let em get involved when we hang out. Ugh I don't wanna lose her from my life but I want her more than a friend.. decisions decisions.. (
OpheliaSong Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 Move on. I wouldn't consider someone who lets their parents control their lives at the expense of my heart a very good friend anyway.
d0nnivain Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 Thanks for the advice!Yeah she said she still loves me and has those feelings but we cant let em get involved when we hang out. Ugh I don't wanna lose her from my life but I want her more than a friend.. decisions decisions.. ( If you want her as more than a friend but you are broken up, you need to stay away. Seeing her just rips your heart out over & over. You will never heal or move on if you keep this up.
Author Brokenguy22 Posted November 8, 2013 Author Posted November 8, 2013 Yeah I have thought about all that. Would be terrible if she one day said she found someone would crush me (not that I am not now..) guess I have to toughen up and just cut her off
faithfully Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 move on. take the advice on here. You cannot be friend with an ex you are still emotional attach to at the moment. Maybe in years to come then fair enough but right now stick to NC you will get there 1
ponchsox Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 I never understood the whole being friends after a breakup. It's like trying to keep a feux relationship. Usually one person wants more and ends up getting hurt making it weird for the other person. There are plenty of people out there you can make friends with besides someone who ripped your heart out. 2
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