cavalier99 Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 (edited) Well thats the thing, i feel like im a really good place at the moment emotionally and i am really happy with my life. So I feel like I could probably have a conversation with her and not get upset. I would think about taking her back but i know for that to happen it has to be her that initiates it because she realised she made a **** decision or we would be back to square one. So far i haven't replied, but last night I made a video for snapchat as my Profile video and found out she was the first one to look at it, does that mean anything at all? Listen. You are not in a good place emotionally to respond to her. trust me. Thats great that you feel better. But dont deceive yourself that this or the snapchat thing means anything. You are going to set yourself back if you respond. I can promise that. In fact just recieving these texts (never mind responding) has set you back. You just dont realize it yet. STAY NC like your life depends on it. F*ck that BS about responding. Id be pissed about her stupid Bday text setting you back and messing with you. Ive seen threads like this a thousand times and never has a response worked to the dumpees advantage. Dont give your hard earned self respect and power back to her for anything. Cav Edited November 10, 2013 by cavalier99
lindsay1990 Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 It can be more than breadcrumbs as well... I am a girl and I am just waiting for my ex's birthday which is in 3 months to reinitiate contact.. Kind of like testing the waters.. Are you the dumper or the dumpee?
aybc123 Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 Are you the dumper or the dumpee? Yeah this got my hopes up too, when i checked they were the dumper but dumped for reasons that make them the dumpee emotionally.
aloneinaz Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 I wouldn't reply to her at all. She dumped you two months plus ago. Get some satisfaction in ignoring her. It was a bread crumb. She could be fishing to see what kind of reaction she'd get from you. Ignoring her is beautiful. She might be looking for an ego stroke if you responded to her asking her questions, etc.. If she's truly interested in trying to get back with you or see you, she'll make it obvious and this is only her first attempt to see how you react.
Author generic person Posted November 11, 2013 Author Posted November 11, 2013 I wouldn't reply to her at all. She dumped you two months plus ago. Get some satisfaction in ignoring her. It was a bread crumb. She could be fishing to see what kind of reaction she'd get from you. Ignoring her is beautiful. She might be looking for an ego stroke if you responded to her asking her questions, etc.. If she's truly interested in trying to get back with you or see you, she'll make it obvious and this is only her first attempt to see how you react. I know everybody said don't reply but I totally caved. I waited until after the weekend and my birthday party to reply which was 2 days and the texts went like this, Her- happy birthday (name) hope you have a nice weekend Me- Thanks (name) it was really good, i'm paying for it now though (Then i orded thai food on the internet and didnt realise it was her phone number set up for the acount. so she got a text message from the take away place saying when it would be delivered.) her- Good to hear, by the way your Thai will be delivered at 6:54 PM i was a bit confused at how she knew I had orded thai food so i replied me- I'm confused, are you working for the Thai place Her- I got a text from them lol me- haha sorry i forgot about that, i was going to say, tell them to hurry up im starving end of conversation haven't heard back since but she was replying to me within one minute of each text been sent.
cavalier99 Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 (edited) Hmm well. Now you will be left feeling like sh*t. She totally blue balled you..well you actually did it to yourself. You will get NO fufillment from these exchanges and will in fact give your mind new things to mull over. NC isnt just not contacting them. it is also i think a way of letting your brain completly process and purge any remnants of that person. Any breif contact just severly delays that process. That is why it think breaking NC is sooo dangerous. it is like messing up a delicate process that is going on in your brain. You should know NOTHING of them or have ANY communication. I needed to be hard hard core NC to get over my 8 years rs and i wouldnt have broken NC even with a gun to my head. Im convinced that is why it took me only 7 months to recover. anyway..my thoughts. Cav Edited November 11, 2013 by cavalier99 1
Author generic person Posted November 11, 2013 Author Posted November 11, 2013 How do you feel now? It was a slight set back in regards to thinking about her a little bit more now, but not to bad at all i have accepted the break up but It was good to see she actually cared about me and that i had some power back and to not reply and make her wait a couple of days felt good. I mean I would be happy to talk to her if she contacts me again but I'm not overly positive I would be ready to hang out, at least without her putting in a fare bit of effort. I feel good that i didn't ask her a bunch of questions and try keep the conversation going. everything i said didn't really need a reply from her so the fact she still replied felt quite good. but if she doesn't contact me again I know that i will be happy as well. Maybe it is time i start keeping in contact with her ? I'm slightly curious if those text was her reaching out and if he will contact me again? She also changed her profile picture to one of her and her girlfriends that was taken at my work when we were together.
Author generic person Posted November 11, 2013 Author Posted November 11, 2013 Hmm well. Now you will be left feeling like sh*t. She totally blue balled you..well you actually did it to yourself. You will get NO fufillment from these exchanges and will in fact give your mind new things to mull over. I needed to be hard hard core NC to get over my 8 years rs and i wouldnt have broken NC even with a gun to my head. Im convinced that is why it took me only 7 months to recover. anyway..my thoughts. Cav I totally understand where you are coming from and each person has different needs and a different way of healing, some can go quick some it take a lot more time. At the moment I am really comfortable where I am in my life and how I have been dating and having a ball, I'm not hung up on her and she is in no way effecting what i do in my life. If she comes back great but she will have a lot of work to do if she doesn't also great i'm happy by myself without her. 2 months ago i needed her to be happy so i have come a long way. I actually now realise that this break up had to happen I thought I was ready to settle down with this girl but infact i really needed to get some things out of my system before i settle down which this has allowed me to do. as weird as it sounds ive had a girlfriend most of my life, i didnt really know my real self and i really wanted to find it and i feel like I have really found myself in the past two months
cavalier99 Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 It was a slight set back in regards to thinking about her a??t me and that i had some power back and to not reply and make her wait a couple of days felt good. I mean I would be happy to talk to her if she contacts me again but I'm not overly positive I would be ready to hang out, at least without her putting in a fare bit of effort. I feel good that i didn't ask her a bunch of questions and try keep the conversation going. everything i said didn't really need a reply from her so the fact she still replied felt quite good. but if she doesn't contact me again I know that i will be happy as well. Maybe it is time i start keeping in contact with her ? I'm slightly curious if those text was her reaching out and if he will contact me again?She also changed her profile picture to one of her and her girlfriends that was taken at my work when we were together. thats cool bro. if you really felt like it didnt affect you that much...great!! I tend to err on the side of caution. maybe not you??? but these things can tend to send may dumpees right back into a funk and you also risk getting sucked into further contact which can definitly be damaging. Ive seen people on this site that have been almost recovered (super confident) ecetera...and without really knowing they were doing it ...pulled out all their stiches they had formed thinking that they could handle limited contact. then BAM all the old immediate post BU feelings come rushing back. Tread carfeully. Cav
Author generic person Posted November 11, 2013 Author Posted November 11, 2013 thats cool bro. if you really felt like it didnt affect you that much...great!! I tend to err on the side of caution. maybe not you??? but these things can tend to send may dumpees right back into a funk and you also risk getting sucked into further contact which can definitly be damaging. Ive seen people on this site that have been almost recovered (super confident) ecetera...and without really knowing they were doing it ...pulled out all their stiches they had formed thinking that they could handle limited contact. then BAM all the old immediate post BU feelings come rushing back. Tread carfeully. Cav Thanks for all the insight guys, defintely much better off having been apart of this forum. Keep the advice coming. I'm still wondering if these text ment anything haha hopefully i don't let me self get sucked back in but we will see, if she does begin to make more contact and appologise im not sure what i would do
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