Anyone ever sent their ex an angry message?

[Ethereal]

I was so close to sending my ex one today... I even typed it out, "I bet you feel like a big alpha stud... You're not. You're just a disgusting little man" and "I'd better not see your name appear on any device of mine again".

 

But I didn't send it... Phew!

 

Not long after I wrote it I realised it would be a terrible idea to send it.

 

What sparked this angry text message idea was the "advice" I was receiving on another forum. I posted a thread about my ex and the members said things like "He got bored of phuking you and found another girl who was hotter." Pfffft. I happen to think I'm quite the catch and if my suspicions about who my ex is seeing are true, then she is definitely a downgrade. Ugh! it got me so angry. I'm not going on that forum again. LoveShack is the best when it comes to advice.

 

So glad I didn't send that text! I was going to send it to hurt him (for making me hurt by not giving me closure) but truth is he'd probably just laugh and think I was crazy.

 

Out of curiosity, has anyone else here ever sent an angry message to their ex? Why did you do it? Did you regret it? Did your ex ever contact you again?

Edited November 8, 2013 by Ethereal

[travelonic]

I have done it - after she started trying to get back in touch with me for whatever reason.

 

Basically, after she mentioned the .. erm ... emotional reaction to the breakup, I mentioned why - that she cheated, listed all the **** she did, and basically said 'if you honestly give a damn about mending things between us, you can start by coming to grips with the fact you cheated.' [not the exact words, but paraphrase] - and god damn, did it feel GOOD. Good idea or not, I can't say I give a damn.

[crederer]

Yah I sent an angry message to my ex after she tried getting back to me. It was a really long response and I refrained from name calling and trying to make it sound more of a clinical and sterile response outlining my thoughts on the matter.

 

I totally forgot about it. It was a few years ago but I was cleaning out my outbox recently and found it. I read it. It was soooooo passive aggressive and I could just feel the anger spewing out of it. I saw the context, after years and not caring anymore, of the letter in a completely different light.

 

I don't care though, she deserved what I said.

 

As for your letter I think it's good you didn't send it cause it makes you sound jealous more than anything and it would probably just feed his ego more.

[Mz_sassy_77]

Yeah. After the BU he was contacting me and I would usually just reply with one word - ok, thanks, etc. The last time I was so pissed off I let rip. The upside is i havent heard from him again so was probably a good thing. I just hated getting messages and emails and fb chats from him. I was like you want to BU then that's what we're going to do - don't contact me because I dont want you in my life and I dont want to hear from you.

[ponchsox]

Oh, yes. I said some pretty nasty things. I regret them, but she pushed my buttons and I was angry. At least she won't be contacting me anymore

[lindsay1990]

I did.

 

After he breadcrumbed be saying "he loved me, wished me only the best, wished me a safe trip back home", I let it rip too.

 

I told him that I felt never really knew him, that what we had was a sham and at worst a nightmare, that I lost every ounce of respect for him and he was like a stranger to me after I had seen his true colors and that all I couldn't for the life of me understand what we did for a year as it was all based on appearances and wasn't real, and that all I knew was that I was relieved to be away from him and everybody in his life and to forget all about me, to fffk off and good luck with his life.

 

Don't regret. If anything, when I used to get angry I would just feel relieved that it was all somehow included in my email so *siiiiigh*

 

How ´bout that?

[KatZee]

Out of curiosity, has anyone else here ever sent an angry message to their ex? Why did you do it? Did you regret it? Did your ex ever contact you again?

 

Yup. I sent my ex an amazing love letter after he dumped me.

 

I had kissed his a.ss for close to three years. Supported him, made excuses for him, took his emotional abuse, stayed after he cheated on me, let him brainwash me into thinking I WAS the one who had problems, I let him tear me down and kick me down. I stood by his side after he allowed his friends to disrespect me to my face. I never once said a word to him, never raised my voice, never disrespected him in our relationship.

 

When he dumped me via text, that was the nail in the coffin and I completely exploded and unloaded almost 3 years worth of anger, resentment and hostility all over him.

 

It was an amazing e-mail and I didn't regret it after I sent it. I'm 18 months post break up and I STILL don't regret it. He deserved every hateful (and truthful) thing I said about him, and I prayed everyday to God that he read it. He never responded, obviously. But I hope I inflicted even a small amount of the amount of hurt he put on me.

 

I don't think it made me look crazy. I had taken his s.hit for years and I never acted out like that. I finally hit the breaking point and it should NOT have been a surprise to him. He was a complete dickbag piece of s.hit and any normal person would have reacted the same way.

 

If I never wrote that email I would have regretted it for life. I would have regret never letting him know how I truly felt about him. If I could go back in time, I think I would have made the e-mail even nastier. Seriously.

[Zahara]

I've done it out of anger and spite. And everytime I did, I wished I hadn't. The worse part about doing it, is feeling like a total jerk and acting the fool by trying to apologize for it. yes, i was an idiot that way. But there was only once that I reacted and felt completely fine with it. Best to just walk away, rant on a forum or write fervently in a letter and rip it.

[lindsay1990]

Yup. I sent my ex an amazing love letter after he dumped me.

 

I had kissed his a.ss for close to three years. Supported him, made excuses for him, took his emotional abuse, stayed after he cheated on me, let him brainwash me into thinking I WAS the one who had problems***I feel this is like my calling card but whatever this is called gaslighting, if he made you think your issues came from insanity/irrationality BEWARE!*** , I let him tear me down and kick me down. I stood by his side after he allowed his friends to disrespect me to my face. I never once said a word to him, never raised my voice, never disrespected him in our relationship***I had, but my email was more disgust/disappointment than airing of grievances and hostile. Still, he broke NC and bredcrumbed me, he got what he had coming***.

 

When he dumped me via text, that was the nail in the coffin and I completely exploded and unloaded almost 3 years worth of anger, resentment and hostility all over him.

 

It was an amazing e-mail and I didn't regret it after I sent it***I regretted early on when I would remember things I would have like to include in those four paragraphs, or wittier ways to say it. That's the extent of my regret, kind of l'esprit de l'escallier basically***. I'm 18 months post break up and I STILL don't regret it. He deserved every hateful (and truthful) thing I said about him, and I prayed everyday to God that he read it.***Now I'm worried if my ex never read mine or just skimmed it, ugh. I hope he re-read it and just got madder or whatever,but read it***

 

He never responded, obviously. But I hope I inflicted even a small amount of the amount of hurt he put on me.

 

I don't think it made me look crazy. ***I'm sure mine did, but my ex already thought I was crazy. But in the words of Britney Spears "You say I'm crazy? I got your crazy!" idgaf what he thought of me at that point***I had taken his s.hit for years and I never acted out like that. I finally hit the breaking point and it should NOT have been a surprise to him. He was a complete dickbag piece of s.hit and any normal person would have reacted the same way.

 

If I never wrote that email I would have regretted it for life. I would have regret never letting him know how I truly felt about him. If I could go back in time, I think I would have made the e-mail even nastier. Seriously.***AMEN!***

 

 

Me too, me three, me four, ....

[Syn]

Yeah, I've done this several times and I regret it. It was after the ex kept trying to send me stupid mundane e-mails and texts like nothing happened. I'd go off on him about how much he hurt me.

 

Later found out he and his friends went on about how crazy I was for those text messages. Oh well lol. What's done is done but I wouldn't do it again. I learned just ignoring them seems to send a much stronger message.

[gullibleme]

I've never regretted my last E-mail to my Ex...I knew I had to do it to move on. He kept stringing me along for weeks and it was my way to get him to leave me alone. It wasn't exactly mean..just stated some facts and that I was feeling hate for him and didn't want to communicate anymore and that was it..he replied "Sorry you feel that way, have a nice life" that was it...two weeks ago ( a year and a half later) he has started texting me.

 

It is the best feeling having this control now with him asking for another chance, telling me he f*cked up and is doing alot of thinking, I am indifferent and never replied to any of the about ten texts and phone calls. I will never feel the humiliation again that I had during the breakup...it wasn't a terrible breakup type of thing but major hurt....every deals in their own way to move on and that way my way!

[greenfairie]

Oh yeah, I don't know who hasn't.

I know I did. My ex did his fair share of angry text messages as well, so it's not just us ladies.

[xUnknown]

No, I didn't send send an angry letter. I actually cared about and love my Ex.

 

Aside from those of you were lied too, cheated on, mistreated, abused, etc. why would your Ex deserve an angry letter?

 

I have noticed that many of you do not understand what a relationship or break up is and look at it from a very selfish point of view.

 

The purpose of the relationship was to find out an answer to a question.

 

What is the question, you ask?

 

"Is this the person I want / am going to spend the rest of my life with?"

 

If either of you decided to stop dating, break up or end a relationship for WHATEVER reason... You both now have the answer to that question and the answer is, NO.

 

Just because you don't like the answer to the question doesn't mean that you are to take it personal, think it's a reflection of you, your self-worth or TRY AND CHANGE THE ANSWER.

 

A break up is not a failure, it's an answer to a question and the successful conclusion of your relationship.

 

Way I see it, my Ex decided that I wasn't the person she wanted to spend the rest of of her life with. Maybe the rest of you think / feel different but I certainly do not want someone who doesn't want to be with me. I can't fault her for the way she feels nor would I want her to deny her happiness either.

 

Breaking up was the right thing to do... for BOTH of us and for you too.

I wouldn't say that the ex "Deserves" an angry letter necessarily, but more of how we are feeling is what caused the decision to send it. It is the emotions and pain that was to blame. I agree, with what you said "

Just because you don't like the answer to the question doesn't mean that you are to take it personal, think it's a reflection of you, your self-worth or TRY AND CHANGE THE ANSWER.". I think the problem is many of us do...we're hurt, we thought things were great...where did it all go wrong? Maybe we know where it went wrong, but we take it personally because we are hurting inside, and keep asking ourselves, Why?

 

I have never sent an angry letter, but I broke up with an ex (of 2 months, nothing serious) via text and told her I wish I had my virginity back. I was being a dick but that was the only occasion where I sent something hurtful like that.

[JDPT]

Absolutely not- she doesn't deserve to know about me or my emotions.