Dziggy55 Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 I'll keep this as short as I can. About two weeks ago I started noticing that my girlfriend of 10 months was acting very distant. On Friday when I asked what was going on she started tearing up. She said that she was very confused about her feelings for me. I kept asking her questions to see if it was anything I caused and she said I did nothing wrong. After about 10 minutes of silence, I asked if she needed some time to herself to think about things. After that I left her house and sent her a text to talk to me when she was ready to talk. She replied saying that her feelings weren't just the same as they once were. This came as a shock to me, as just two weeks before this she wrote me a note that said that she loved me dearly and I was all she need to be happy. I decided to go NC and let her think to herself. However, this did not work because we have assigned seats next to each other in school, so we were forced to see each other on Monday. She seemed happy and cheerful with her friends. I was surprised though when she not only sat at the same lunch table, but in the seat right next to mine during lunch. We both said hi to each other but really said nothing more than this. The same thing happened on Tuesday. Then on Wednesday, I was talking to a mutual friend and she told me that my girlfriend planned on breaking up with me. Sure enough I got a text later that day. It was my girlfriend telling me to come over so we could talk. So I drove over in tears, expecting the worse. To my surprise though, she didn't break up with me. She did however say that she was still very confused. We talked about our relationship and started reminiscing and actually made each other laugh. I also told her not to feel bad about how she felt and that I would not have any hard feelings if she broke up with me because she deserves to be happy and that she did not have to be with me if she was not happy and that I would still want to be friends. After about an hour and a half of discussing our options, I asked if she had made her decision and she said that she needed more time. I agreed thinking that it had only been 5 days. I gave her a hug and then left. We saw each other again today and had a normal conversation but she was very monotone and seemed like she didn't want to talk to me. I did happen to see her as we were walking to the parking lot after school and she seemed happier and said that she hoped that I have a good day. Now I'm very confused myself. I want to be with this girl more than anything. I love and care about her very much and we were very happy together. I also care about her more than anything in this world. This isn't the first time this has happened, although the first time didn't even last for even 48 hours before she came back saying that she had made a mistake. And if it helps to know, we are both 17. What should I do? And will she come back?
ponchsox Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 You can't be with someone that doesn't want to be with you. Go NC and move on.
andy_w Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 (edited) I'm probably not the right person to be giving advice about this considering I'm in a similar situation and haven't the slightest idea what I'm doing. It's impossible to say if she will come back. My plan is to focus on being the best 'me' that I can be. Be who you were when you first started dating, be fun, charming, romantic, whatever it was that drew her to you. Be strong, don't be needy or clingy, don't be her puppet who she can toss away and take back on a whim. Try to be social and interact with other people, be charming, friendly, fun, the type of person people like to be around. Let her come to you, and think long and hard about whether or not you will even take her back. We all deserve to be with someone who wants to be with us. If she loves you she will miss you and want to come back. Good luck, stay strong. Edited November 8, 2013 by andy_w
Author Dziggy55 Posted November 8, 2013 Author Posted November 8, 2013 (edited) Thanks for the reply. It has all I've been thinking about. I think she might have a fear of becoming too attached, considering we are going to different colleges next fall and also after the way her last relationship ended with her last boyfriend passing away unexpectantly. He has always been on her mind since it happened. I was always there for her when she thought of him. I just think she wants to make sure that she really does love me. And if she does, I do believe she will come back. I care about her so much and I really do want to be with her more than anything. For now I'm going to focus on me and will be ready when she wants to talk again. Edited November 8, 2013 by Dziggy55 Spelling error
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