Lolita_Sky Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 He and I got really cool with each other and were growing really close. It was almost borderline a romantic relationship. We never did anything physically. We did kiss a couple of times but that was it. I however pulled back and put a bit of distance between us because I felt he wasn't interested in a serious relationship with me. Well we didn't talk for almost a month. Within that time frame I got into a relationship with the most amazing man. Just typing about him makes me smile...no really I'm smiling ear to ear as I type this! Anyway we got back in touch the other day he messaged me on facebook saying that I finally got my fb back up. Well he asked about what was going on with me and what not. I told him about my issue with not having a car and how dangerous it is actually walking at night from my job because a man and his family got robbed at gun point in front of my night job. Well he asked who picks me up from work at night. I told him that my boyfriend and my mother does. This was my first time ever mentioning my new relationship to him... He did not acknowledge it AT ALL. I mean if any of my friends told me that they had a new boyfriend or girlfriend I'd be all like CONGRATS and asking about him/her. But he didn't say anything. Why is that? Would anyone have a clue as to why he wouldn't acknowledge that? It sort of bothered me that he didn't. Should I let that bother me??
lindsay1990 Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 He and I got really cool with each other and were growing really close. It was almost borderline a romantic relationship. We never did anything physically. We did kiss a couple of times but that was it. I however pulled back and put a bit of distance between us because I felt he wasn't interested in a serious relationship with me. Well we didn't talk for almost a month. Within that time frame I got into a relationship with the most amazing man. Just typing about him makes me smile...no really I'm smiling ear to ear as I type this! Anyway we got back in touch the other day he messaged me on facebook saying that I finally got my fb back up. Well he asked about what was going on with me and what not. I told him about my issue with not having a car and how dangerous it is actually walking at night from my job because a man and his family got robbed at gun point in front of my night job. Well he asked who picks me up from work at night. I told him that my boyfriend and my mother does. This was my first time ever mentioning my new relationship to him... He did not acknowledge it AT ALL. I mean if any of my friends told me that they had a new boyfriend or girlfriend I'd be all like CONGRATS and asking about him/her. But he didn't say anything. Why is that? Would anyone have a clue as to why he wouldn't acknowledge that? It sort of bothered me that he didn't. Should I let that bother me?? No, you shouldn't let it bother you at all. my thoughts are that he didn't acknowledge it because he simply registered it as a fact. He wouldn't say "Wow, your mom is really sweet, lucky she goes get you" so... I think it just registered in his brain matter-of-factly and didn't make much of it.
Author Lolita_Sky Posted November 8, 2013 Author Posted November 8, 2013 No, you shouldn't let it bother you at all. my thoughts are that he didn't acknowledge it because he simply registered it as a fact. He wouldn't say "Wow, your mom is really sweet, lucky she goes get you" so... I think it just registered in his brain matter-of-factly and didn't make much of it. I thought that too. Huh...guess I'm putting too much thought into this. lol
lindsay1990 Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 I thought that too. Huh...guess I'm putting too much thought into this. lol That's not surprising, I mean you had kind of a thing going on so it's not crazy to anticipate maybe a reaction. However, the guy had fallen behind before this (and unrelated) so maybe he just sees you guys as better friends than lovers and it just cool with the situation
Tayla Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 Manners dictate to respond Wow!!! Good for you!!! Yet i have been in this friends shoes, which by no means does the heart say wow!! In a good way. It says, gee were you that clueless and insensitive when the moments that passed the friendzone occurred?? Perhaps he is a matter of fact sorta person. Only you know how to gage him. Did you welcome him back to the facebook media or simply lay your troubles at his feet? The door swings both ways in a friendship. I sincerely wish you well with this friend.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 This was my first time ever mentioning my new relationship to him... He did not acknowledge it AT ALL. I mean if any of my friends told me that they had a new boyfriend or girlfriend I'd be all like CONGRATS and asking about him/her. But he didn't say anything. Why is that? Would anyone have a clue as to why he wouldn't acknowledge that? It sort of bothered me that he didn't. Should I let that bother me?? To begin with, maybe it had been your responsibility to tell him (and every other pursuer, I should add) that you have a boyfriend. You can't have it both ways - sitting around with other women complaining when married or spoken-for men hit on you, while at the same time not telling guys who are obviously pursuing you that you too are spoken-for. And everybody knows that males have zero interest in being mere "friends" with women who they wouldn't rather be banging. Him acknowledging your boyfriend will be his not attempting to get into your pants in the near future. He'll likely drift away, and then, down the road a month or three, he'll wander back via Facebook or the like, and say: "oh, hey, long time no see... (pure B.S. filler crap) ... still got that boyfriend?"
whichwayisup Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 He and I got really cool with each other and were growing really close. It was almost borderline a romantic relationship. We never did anything physically. We did kiss a couple of times but that was it. I however pulled back and put a bit of distance between us because I felt he wasn't interested in a serious relationship with me. Well we didn't talk for almost a month. There are your reasons why he didn't congratulate you. It's awkward and also the fact you two did not talk after kissing. You pulled back and put distance between you two. You assumed he wasn't interested.. But did you actually ask him? seems like you didn't.
Author Lolita_Sky Posted November 13, 2013 Author Posted November 13, 2013 (edited) To begin with, maybe it had been your responsibility to tell him (and every other pursuer, I should add) that you have a boyfriend. You can't have it both ways - sitting around with other women complaining when married or spoken-for men hit on you, while at the same time not telling guys who are obviously pursuing you that you too are spoken-for. And everybody knows that males have zero interest in being mere "friends" with women who they wouldn't rather be banging. Him acknowledging your boyfriend will be his not attempting to get into your pants in the near future. He'll likely drift away, and then, down the road a month or three, he'll wander back via Facebook or the like, and say: "oh, hey, long time no see... (pure B.S. filler crap) ... still got that boyfriend?" Well this guy I am with just recently became an item a few weeks ago. But prior to that we were dating and getting to know each other. This friend of mine however is a very puzzling character. I can't really read him so I just left the idea of something blossoming between us alone. I actually came out and told him at one point that I did have a crush on him but because of his behavior it seemed as if he wasn't interested in pursuing anything any further with me. His response after that was sooo weird. So after that I just sort of stepped back and put a bit of distance between us. I don't feel as if he liked me. He did take me out and do things with me as I said before we got really close. He borrowed a book from me a few weeks ago. So I mean we're cool just that I thought he'd be cool or okay with the fact that I found someone. As I said before he gave off vibes that he didn't like me so I left it alone. Edited November 13, 2013 by Lolita_Sky
Author Lolita_Sky Posted November 13, 2013 Author Posted November 13, 2013 There are your reasons why he didn't congratulate you. It's awkward and also the fact you two did not talk after kissing. You pulled back and put distance between you two. You assumed he wasn't interested.. But did you actually ask him? seems like you didn't. I didn't ask him. I did however come out and tell him that I did have a crush on him at some point but then my feelings changed because he just gave off these vibes as if he wasn't interested. He just didn't seem to take a lot of things serious like that. His response to that was so strange I just left him alone after that.
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