Frustrating situation with girl I want to chat up!

[Theck]

Hi folks, wouldn’t mind a little bit of help with this girl situation... it’s a bit embarrassing in its stupidity, but any advice/help/smartideas would go down well. Can’t believe I’m posting this at the age of 30, but anyway.

 

I broke up with my now-ex about a year and a half ago after an 11 month relationship and haven’t dated since. Been very jaded with the whole dating scene and how I couldn’t find a girl that was like me in any way. Haven’t really been bothered and have gotten a ‘bah humbug’ feeling about the whole ‘meeting someone’ thing. There is, however, a girl at work who I feel somewhat different about. She is ridiculously cute and for some reason, I am very very interested in getting to know her. Oddly enough, I haven’t felt like getting to know a girl in the past year and a half... not sure why things are different here but there you go.

 

 

So. There are several compilations.

 

- I work in a hospital. She works in a different hospital, but under the same network/employment envelope. I am in her hospital for one day roughly every two weeks. During that day I am very busy.

- I have no idea what her name is but know she works in Pharmacy... a part of the building with a locked door (chemicals and drugs y’see). I don’t know any Pharmacy staff.

- I have absolutely no professional reason to go down to Pharmacy when I’m in the hospital and wouldn’t get away with just ploughing in the door.

- I only ever see her at lunchtime on that one day, sitting with her colleagues and going to/from Pharmacy with her colleagues. She is barely ever on her own [i’ve probably watched a bit more than I’m proud to admit].

- There is no chance whatsoever of being out at night and meeting in a pub randomly. Christmas parties etc are out because Pharmacy have different Christmas parties to my group and never shall a Christmas party cross in this crazy hospital.

 

Going up and just saying hello is a very difficult thing, hence this post! Not because I’m too nervous to do it... I’m perfectly happy to make a bee-line and simply march right up to her, say hello and that’s what I plan to do...... find out then who she is and make a bit of small talk just so she knows I exist and may want to say hello another time. Then get to know her a bit and ask her out... simple as. My problem here is not a confidence thing. But to do all that I have to find/make a first opportunity when she is on her own to say hello and get to know her just a little. Cos once I’ve done that once, saying hello to her when she is in a group is fine.... she may stop to talk and I won’t be trying to drag someone who doesn’t know me (and whose name I don’t know) out of a group of friends/colleagues.

 

I’m getting pretty frustrated about the whole thing because I have tried such a ridiculous number of things to ‘accidentally meet’ in the corridor, or get a situation where I could just say hello... but none of them have worked. I’m really aware that this kind of behaviour could get creepy really quickly, so I want to see if anyone can give me any ideas about just how to get the opportunity to bump into this girl. It is ridiculous that it has come to this but here are things I have tried.

 

- Timing my arrival at tea break for when she may be in the queue and I can say hello then. This doesn’t work. (Colleagues, timing, skipping the queue blatantly)

- Getting another cup of tea in the restaurant when I see her arrive (that didn’t work. Colleagues/timing)

- Walking past the Locked Door to Pharmacy a few times. That didn’t work.

- Stubbornly waiting down the corridor playing with my phone for 25 minutes after finishing work to wait for her to come out so I can say hello. She emerged with her colleague, that was that.

- Desperately trying to get a staff list for Pharmacy. No luck with that.

- I’ve also checked Facebook, Linkedin etc to no avail. Any Pharmacy people whose names I know have friends lists locked down. This sounds awful but at least I’d know who she is and with a name I could potentially get a viable reason to visit Pharmacy then.

 

So it’ll be two weeks before I get the chance to say hello again... as I’m going to be in my usual hospital until then. I’m pretty pissed off with that. No hope of a transfer for a few days, staffing wouldn’t allow it.

 

Looking at this post it looks awfully stalkerish/creepy. I’m probably giving entirely the wrong impression of what I’m like. Like I said, I’m pretty confident and will march up and just say hello, and that’s what I’ve been trying to do. But the situation just doesn’t allow it, nor can I accidentally create a situation where I CAN go up and say hello.

 

Does anyone have any good tips/tricks/excuses as to what I can do to get the opportunity to say hello to this girl? I’m sure someone has been in this situation before... you fancy a girl you only see occasionally, want to say hello, but for various reasons the opportunity to do that just will not present itself. Dropping something ‘accidentally’ so she picks it up and runs after me? That would either be good or terrible, I don’t know. In any case, I’m fresh out of ideas and have tried every trick I know.

 

Any help/ideas (crazy or not!) would be appreciated. Thanks!

[ellamanopi]

You've chalked her up quite a bit in all of the efforts you've gone through just to say hi. Sounds like you're already putting her up on a pedastool, typically those people are floating in a world of fantasy and will inevitably fall flat to who you imagine them to be. If she's the first person you've been interested in since your break up and you haven't even talked to her yet, I think disappointment's more than likely.

 

My advice? Stop focusing on romance. Make friends, with men and women. Focus on your hobbies and do interesting things with your life in your free time. In your connections with friends and through your interests, when you least expect it and dating is the last thing you're worried about, you'll find someone you're into.

 

This situation is pretty archetypal romantic, and while these things work well constantly in story telling, real life doesn't do the stranger chase justice.

[Theck]

I've been interested in others but have always called the arranged date off a few days beforehand due to skyrocketing nerves and a general sense of "is dating worth all this hassle". Guess I haven't met the right person yet but am worried that if I do I'll talk myself out of it!

 

This one is half like a challenge now... could be a confidence boost to actually say hello after all this fussing, but I won't dwell on things if it goes wrong (which is probably will!)