Missyhissy Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 Hi All, I have been seeing a man for about a month only but his behaviour has gotten strange to me. Things were going great. We have both said that we love each other ans that we want this to be an exclusive relationship. The problem is: this man has gone away on three different trips interstate. I'm in Australia. He has a home in two other states and says he goes there to check things are ok and catch up with friends. To me he honestly doesn't seem to be the type to have few women at a time lol. But you never can tell. The problem is that when he is away he is hard to get hold of. I'm not needing to talk to him all the time but on the occasions I have he says he cant talk or he is eating or any other excuse. Then he rings me really late at night. I guess when he is alone. When he has stayed at my home, if he recieves phone calls he never tells who he is talking to that he is with me. He even told his own son he was in a whole other town. He is currently interstate with his son. I know he is with his son or at least was with him because i saw a photo he put on facebook. I only attempted to call him once but he said he couldn't talk so i told him I thought it was odd. I said it calmly and asked when he could. he said he didn't know. Anyhow then he called me later professing his love and how much he misses me etc. Hmmmm then he said he would call the next day. Well he didn't. It was three days ago now. I have tried to call him but his phone is off or out of area. i know he is in a remote area but it seems odd. I up half suspicious and half worried that something has happened to him. I wouldn't find out because he hasn't told anyone he knows he is seeing me. (redflag) I feel like forgetting this guy. He just doesn't add up. I am worried that something has happened. I don't think he'd turn his phone off just to avoid me. He has people he needs to be available to talk on that number. What do you all think Thanks Missy
ExpatInItaly Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 Well, you said it and it's glaringly obvious: something really doesn't add up. Why hasn't he told anyone he's seeing you? Did you ask him why he told his son he was in a different city? What is his relationship with his son's mother? So many questions....You're basically his secret love interest and I'd be curious to know who he's hiding you from. As for him not responding - any activity on his FB page? If he's really not answering and in some kind of trouble, someone else in his life is bound to notice and notify family/authorities. He appears to be avoiding you and that should be enough to cut this guy loose. Don't let make you an option.
Phantom888 Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 If things don't add up, chances are he is lying....and he has a habit of lying. You have been dating for a month, so you don't know him all that well, considering he spent a lot of time out of town during this 1 month. For what it's worth, confront him, and ask him. You have nothing to lose. A person with nothing to hide would often volunteer information without being asked. When I get a call from someone, I just tell my girlfriend it's a friend from work....I even tell her the name because I have nothing to hide! This is important early on. Once there is trust, then you don't have to volunteer as much info, because there is already trust. One month is not enough to develop complete trust.
Author Missyhissy Posted November 8, 2013 Author Posted November 8, 2013 Hi thanks to you both for replying I can't understand this guy at all. I confronted him about it the other night which is the last I spoke to him. I didn't get angry or accuse. I just said I was finding it strange that he can't talk. I also talked to him about him not telling anyone about us. He is avoid friend of my brother. They have been friends for 7 years. But I only met him a few months ago. He told me he said something to my brother about us but my brother hasn't mentioned it to me. If something went wrong I only really have my brother who may find out. But I am starting to doubt that he said anything to him. Last time we spoke on the phone the call ended on a positive note. He said he couldn't wait to get back etc and he would call me the next day. Gawd I don't want to waste my time being upset by this. But I would hate it if he was sick etc and I didn't know. The trust is definitely gone right now. I just don't know how to feel. It's very upsetting. I loved being with him and thought he was really into it too. Thanks Missy
Author Missyhissy Posted November 8, 2013 Author Posted November 8, 2013 Yes I reckon it's fishy. I gues if it smells like s**t it usually is s**t.
BlametheIrish Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 Call your brother and see if his friend mentioned you. Then try to gain some insight from your brother as to what kind of a person his friend really is.
Author Missyhissy Posted November 8, 2013 Author Posted November 8, 2013 Well he just called me. Said he was in the middle of nowhere. I asked him why he didn't borrow someone's phone just to text he has no signal. He says he doesn't like to borrow phones. He told me he was at a pub ine night and i know most pubs have phones so he could have called. Anyhow I tried not to sound effed up about it but I told him if he wants to see me again things would need to be out in the open. I don't even think I want to see him again In the background I heard his son (who is 30) asking if he was talking to mum. He said no it's not your mum. I know they don't live together and why but he still talks to her. He texted after the call. He doesn't want to stop seeing me. Well my reply to that is no answer. Thanks Missy
Author Missyhissy Posted November 8, 2013 Author Posted November 8, 2013 Well he just called me. Said he was in the middle of nowhere. I asked him why he didn't borrow someone's phone just to text he has no signal. He says he doesn't like to borrow phones. He told me he was at a pub ine night and i know most pubs have phones so he could have called. Anyhow I tried not to sound effed up about it but I told him if he wants to see me again things would need to be out in the open. I don't even think I want to see him again In the background I heard his son (who is 30) asking if he was talking to mum. He said no it's not your mum. I know they don't live together and why but he still talks to her. He texted after the call. He doesn't want to stop seeing me. Well my reply to that is no answer. Thanks Missy
Author Missyhissy Posted November 8, 2013 Author Posted November 8, 2013 Sorry accidentally posted twice
OpheliaSong Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 He sounds like he is married and has two separate lives, or he is still in a relationship with ex. Do some investigating.
ExpatInItaly Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 Still sounds very suspicious. Also, I was shocked when I read his son is 30. I was imagining that his son was small and might not understand why daddy is with someone who is not mommy, etc. But...no. The fact that he lied to his adult son is very, very sketchy. Did you call your brother and ask if he's heard anything from this guy about you?
Author Missyhissy Posted November 8, 2013 Author Posted November 8, 2013 No I haven't had a chance to ring my brother about this. I will over the weekend. I haven't answered his text. I know he and his are over for a fact. I have heard from my brother and I know the circumstances. But I know he lied to his son more than once. I have lied to my kids too but only when they asked for money for cellphone credit after they used all of theirs up with no good reason. He's not trustworthy.
Author Missyhissy Posted November 11, 2013 Author Posted November 11, 2013 Hi All I don't even know why I need to think about this getting rid of this guy when it's obvious he's acting so suspiciously. I have given him a couple more chances to redeem himself to no avail. Twice more he has been unable to talk. I haven't been trying to talk to him all the time or anything like that. But anyway. Yesterday he called during the day. He actually seemed able to talk. After a few minutes he paused he said 'hang on I ve just gotta flush ' OMG he was on the toilet. Who calls people from thle toilet? So it's obvious as hell now he's seeing me on the side or at least he's keeping it a secret. Last night he rang real late. I didn't bother answering If he rings me again he's getting his marching orders. I'm so done. Thanks Missy 1
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