ponchsox Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 My ex gf withheld information about her ex husband. She said he abondoned her and their one year old son. A year into our relationship, she asked me if I wanted to keep dating her because her ex husband couldn't take her son any longer so we could have time on Saturday to go on dates. Turns out he got popped for cocaine possession. I looked online at FDLE website and it turns out he was charged with aggravated battery a year after they were married and was incarcerated for one year. She withheld this information which really questioned her trust. We are no longer together, but was this a legitimate reason to end it with her?
xUnknown Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 My ex gf withheld information about her ex husband. She said he abondoned her and their one year old son. A year into our relationship, she asked me if I wanted to keep dating her because her ex husband couldn't take her son any longer so we could have time on Saturday to go on dates. Turns out he got popped for cocaine possession. I looked online at FDLE website and it turns out he was charged with aggravated battery a year after they were married and was incarcerated for one year. She withheld this information which really questioned her trust. We are no longer together, but is a legitimate reason to end it with her? How long have you two been together? Maybe she didn't want to hurt you and didn't think you should know at this time? I do agree that she flat out lied to you, but dare I say...did she have a just reason to? If it were early in the relationship, would you have stuck around?
Author ponchsox Posted November 7, 2013 Author Posted November 7, 2013 Why does it matter? It's over. Did she possess the cocaine? Did she assault someone? Did she do time? If not, then no, she's not obligated to share that with you, it's none of your business. Because he will be around as long he's the father and could cause problems? She might still want him back?
aybc123 Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 Not sure it was a lie so much as a half-truth, if someone i had a son with got busted for coke possession i would certainly feel they had abandoned me, or rather abandoned their responsibility to our child and to me and thus abandoned us. Chances are it was too early into the relationship, i.e. you weren't close enough for her to disclose the whole truth, either because she was worried you'd hightail it out of there or because she didnt think it was any of your business yet. Anyway i'd go with no it's not a legit reason. I'd certainly have been upset and wanted to discuss it though, but dont think its a dealbreaker. 2
Author ponchsox Posted November 7, 2013 Author Posted November 7, 2013 Not sure it was a lie so much as a half-truth, if someone i had a son with got busted for coke possession i would certainly feel they had abandoned me, or rather abandoned their responsibility to our child and to me and thus abandoned us. Chances are it was too early into the relationship, i.e. you weren't close enough for her to disclose the whole truth, either because she was worried you'd hightail it out of there or because she didnt think it was any of your business yet. Anyway i'd go with no it's not a legit reason. I'd certainly have been upset and wanted to discuss it though, but dont think its a dealbreaker. He did a year in prison for a violent crime while they were married. I'm wasn't worried as much about the cocaine.
lindsay1990 Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 I think she was probably just embarrased, tbh. Was worried about what you'd think of her, that maybe she associated with thugs, that she was just like him, etc. I think the fact that she says he abandoned them points to her considering that he abandoned them. For all intents and purposes, he isn't coming back to THEM. So for what it's worth, I think if she considers him "left" she wasn't counting on going back to him at all. Likely was just saving face. I sincerely think she was just scared of what you would think of her. If you have a good relationship and there's nothing otherwise shady about her, I'd talk to her about it. it's not like she lied about something going on with you, I think it's just a little less humiliating to say your guy left than to say he's popped for drugs. That being said, it may (may) speak highly of her that she would rather say he abandoned her than to have to admit her association to the this kind of guy.
lindsay1990 Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 I'm also left wondering if her son knows what went down. Maybe if he didn't know he was incarcerated, it could be her just sticking to a story that she's chosen to carry until her son is old enough to understand and didn't think it was the time for him to know that, and didn't want to risk it spilling out.
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