Getting ready to move on

[BottleofHope]

I broke up with my ex-gf of 2/6 years as she was doing her master degree, and I was getting ready to move to be with her and start work. It was only a month there before she was going around talking to several guys but I reminded myself that she's new there and making friends is normal.

 

All the red flags came flying but I was too blind to see and as she felt more comfortable in her new surroundings and broke it off with me on the phone after a small fight saying "I can't do this anymore, I'm sorry". I went LC for two week and then she texted me one day saying that she was sick and etc., I was dumb and fell into that trap, comforting her and such. I also asked her if 'anyone was taking care of you?', she said no, everyone are good friends.

 

Then I came into contact with her two days after that saying I was going to visit her and she told me that she already has a boyfriend and doesn't feel comfortable that I came to visit (so she lied two days before and I asked her why and she said that it's her business if she wants to tell me or not). She said that I should move on because she did and she 'loves' her boyfriend (and she broke up with me for only two weeks!).

 

After that until today, I went complete NC because I do respect her space but I do not want to remain friends. Tomorrow will be a new day for me as I plan to unfriend her on FB, set my Instagram as private and completely disappear from her life. I am doing this for myself because we have mutual friends and she still stalks me on Instagram. I want her out of my system completely. She's not a friend any longer and I just need to move on and focus on my life now.

 

 

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To everyone struggling, always remember that after the breakup, we always keep a door open for them but we have to keep closing it everyday. It was hard going through the lonely nights and breaking down crying over her but it only confirmed that she doesn't care about me any longer and I should just let her go.

 

Always go NC, for your own good to heal and for them to have space to think about losing contact with you. As soon as you start doing NC, remove anything that involves them, I did it by taking all the pictures on my phone and saved them into my hard drive, delete all text messages, set her Facebook notification to not show on my newsfeed and unfollowed her on Instagram. It was much easier to keep your mind off them when there is nothing left to remind you about them.

 

FORCE yourself not to look at their pictures or social media, act as if she was dead (which to be honest, would be so much easier) and try little by little to get yourself together. They are out living their life and the relationship has ended, it can not be fix, I repeat, when an old relationship ends it can not be fixed. The only way to get back with your ex is to give them space to think and if reconcile does happen, it is a new relationship, we do not continue with the old because that was what caused it to end. Start new and fresh if it happens.

 

If she comes back? She knows my contact information and we have so many mutual friends that could contact me so if she comes to realize that one day I was the one (which I still believe that she will be back after the rebound). But I do not hope, take it day by day and put more energy into your life and less on hoping. I believe that I am ready to move on and leave the past behind, even though lonely nights are hard and sometimes I still cry over her but it will get better, it always gets better!

 

Cheers, I have beers ready for midnight to celebrate my new chapter in life.

Edited November 7, 2013 by BottleofHope

[Saurren]

Well since no one is replying I might as well. IMO go for NC remove her from the face of your social life. She cheated and even lied to you about another friend taking care of her.