jellybean Posted December 20, 2004 Posted December 20, 2004 My hunch was correct...I knew there had to be more to your story. Anyways, I admire your courage for coming back here, and revealing more facts to us. I'm glad to hear you've told her that you want to end it, and are taking the necessary steps by stopping all communication with her. I still haven't figured out why I'm doing all this though. Is it because of the ego boost I get from it? Or is because I'm still pissed and want to cause her pain and ruin her relationship? Hmmm, that's a tough one.....maybe it is all ego - thinking that even tho she is now married, she still can't resist you. Or maybe it's about alot of unresolved anger (you two share a long, complicated history), and a desire for some kind of revenge because of what happened in the past. Right now you are examining your own behaviour, and the role you played in the affair - this can be a good thing. I think you're heading in the right direction by asking yourself questions about what motivates you. You already know that you've made a huge mistake. Good luck
Author derekj513 Posted December 21, 2004 Author Posted December 21, 2004 owl, i never said she was my girlfriend at any point in time. and she never cheated on me because we weren't together
Sweetz Posted December 21, 2004 Posted December 21, 2004 Originally posted by derekj513 owl, i never said she was my girlfriend at any point in time. and she never cheated on me because we weren't together Owl Don't waste your breath on this matter any further. This guy does not want to listen to anyone's advice. He's looking for someone to back him and his decisions up. Your advice is better given to those that will appreciate it and take it to heart. N-E-X-T!
whichwayisup Posted December 22, 2004 Posted December 22, 2004 All I can really say now to you is move on. Forget your ego, pride, hurt feelings...You want to make a statement to her? Talk to her, end it and move on after that. Do not call her or contact her again. Silence. If you continue to talk to her you will allow yourself to get sucked back in and then it just starts up all over again.
Author derekj513 Posted December 26, 2004 Author Posted December 26, 2004 I still haven't talked to her, and I gave her husband an anonymous phone call telling him to watch his wife. I told him not to talk to her about the call or he'll never catch her because then she'll be watching her back.
Jayman Posted December 27, 2004 Posted December 27, 2004 derekj513, I will say good for you for the phone call . That's how I found out my girlfriend was cheeting on me with a 17 year old guy she's 29 . But I understand what everyone saying put your self in her husbands shoes . And nowday's STD's should be your worry if she's doing you she's doing other people . I don't care how well you think you know her . And you might just really piss this guy off and you could find your self at the wrong end of a gun . You need to stay clear of her you don't need the trouble . Jayman
dude x Posted December 27, 2004 Posted December 27, 2004 Well I understand not being able to not convey all information typing. This all would be easier if it was an actual conversation with real voices. You did mention you knew her before she met her hubby. I find it interesting you continue to have sex with her while knowing she wants to be with you, whereas you do not want a relationship with her. You should be honest with her and let her know she's good for conversation and to relieve your horniness only. With your statements I would not be suprised if she feels she has a chance to "run off into the sunset" with you. Almost sounds like she loves you. If you need to get rid of sexual tension she is the wrong person for you. I advise you when you finally find someone for yourself when discussing past experiences make sure this one is FULLY discussed. Brave phone call, it would be funny if hubby catches her in an affair you know nothing about! Perhaps daddy's brother!
Author derekj513 Posted December 28, 2004 Author Posted December 28, 2004 Originally posted by dude x Brave phone call, it would be funny if hubby catches her in an affair you know nothing about! Perhaps daddy's brother! Now that would be hilarious! Everyone keeps saying that the husband would kill me if he found out...bull. I'd kick his butt in front of his wife if he even tried anything like that. Now that would be funny.
Owl Posted December 28, 2004 Posted December 28, 2004 What makes you think he'd want to FIGHT you?? My wife was involved in an online emotional affair several months ago, and nearly left me to go live with this guy. When I found out about it, I had the same reaction that every betrayed husband does. And I never once considered standing in front of the guy and "challenging" him to a fight...my thoughts were more from the lines of doing something from say 50-75 meters out. Think about it. (I have to say I'm thankful beyond belief that I DIDN'T do anything...but that risk was absolutely there...). So have you ended your sexual relationship with her yet? Or is she still coming over for "massages" and "movies"?
Author derekj513 Posted December 28, 2004 Author Posted December 28, 2004 i'm no longer talking to her and i called her husband and told him
alicia24 Posted December 28, 2004 Posted December 28, 2004 I have a friend like that but we dont have sex. You could cut the sexual tension with a knife, but we dont act on it. You have to be mature adults. Maybe you should only hang out in public settings. That way the sex thing wont be an issue, unless the two of you are into effing in public, than I dont know what to tell you.
Author derekj513 Posted December 28, 2004 Author Posted December 28, 2004 i like the public setting idea, but i'd feel uncomfortable seeing her again after what we've done
Owl Posted December 28, 2004 Posted December 28, 2004 Then walk away, and be done with it. If she tries to re-start anything...tell her you'll tell her husband. Good decision. Not easy, but the good ones often aren't.
Bryanp Posted December 28, 2004 Posted December 28, 2004 Hello Derek, I congratulate you for telling the husband. You really did the right thing since he had a right to know. I am proud of you for being forthright and honest with him about it. I wish you luck.
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