Haydn Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 Just a little list one of my friends wrote down when i wanted to contact her. Make what you want of it. It helped me. 1 It does not matter 2 It wont change anything 3 Its of no use 4 It will hurt you 5 Its irrelevant 6 Shes not worth it 7 You will prolong the agony 8 You are worth more 9 She does not deserve to know how you feel 10 She wont understand and it wont register. 8
sambo77 Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 This list might just have stopped me contacting her tonight Thanks Haydn. I have reached the point (3 weeks of complete NC) where I am literally bursting to reach out to her. I don't know why...but I really want to tell her I miss her. These are my worries: (1) Maybe she just thinks I hate her and is missing me but just too proud or ashamed to say so. She was always truly awful at expressing herself and maybe she just can't do it. If that were true...well...I'd hate to think it were true (2) I do miss her...and I feel I wanna tell her...so much. (3) I HATE that it feels like I'm doing nothing...if deep, deep down I want her back then it feels like I oughta be doing something (4) I feel like the longer she goes without hearing that I miss her, then the more likely she'll forget me and move on with some other w**nker BUT All that said...it has got to a point where I would literally be PETRIFIED of contacting her now. I just don't think I could take opening the wound up again...she hurt me VERY badly indeed and I'm extremely wary of further rejection. So...internal conflict it is 2
Author Haydn Posted November 7, 2013 Author Posted November 7, 2013 I know what you are going through, its the same here. I think if i dont reach out she will forget me. But she does not reach out to me. I guess its a done deal. My friend was quite insistant with her advice, Keep going my friend. Trust me, i will contact you before i contact her. This list might just have stopped me contacting her tonight Thanks Haydn. I have reached the point (3 weeks of complete NC) where I am literally bursting to reach out to her. I don't know why...but I really want to tell her I miss her. These are my worries: (1) Maybe she just thinks I hate her and is missing me but just too proud or ashamed to say so. She was always truly awful at expressing herself and maybe she just can't do it. If that were true...well...I'd hate to think it were true (2) I do miss her...and I feel I wanna tell her...so much. (3) I HATE that it feels like I'm doing nothing...if deep, deep down I want her back then it feels like I oughta be doing something (4) I feel like the longer she goes without hearing that I miss her, then the more likely she'll forget me and move on with some other w**nker BUT All that said...it has got to a point where I would literally be PETRIFIED of contacting her now. I just don't think I could take opening the wound up again...she hurt me VERY badly indeed and I'm extremely wary of further rejection. So...internal conflict it is 1
sambo77 Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 I know what you are going through, its the same here. I think if i dont reach out she will forget me. But she does not reach out to me. I guess its a done deal. My friend was quite insistant with her advice, Keep going my friend. Trust me, i will contact you before i contact her. Thanks buddy. I know...she'd reach out if she really wanted to. Maybe I just don't wanna believe that on some level. The pressure just builds up to a crescendo sometimes...it's either contact her, break down crying, or get so angry inside that I just wanna beat the crap out of...something...anything. This is the closest I think I've been to crazy. 1
JDPT Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 You have a great friend there. I will absolutely use that list on a daily basis, so much food for thought when those painful urges hit the chest. 1
xUnknown Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 That is a great list...definitely something to keep in mind for myself. This list might just have stopped me contacting her tonight Thanks Haydn. I have reached the point (3 weeks of complete NC) where I am literally bursting to reach out to her. I don't know why...but I really want to tell her I miss her. These are my worries: (1) Maybe she just thinks I hate her and is missing me but just too proud or ashamed to say so. She was always truly awful at expressing herself and maybe she just can't do it. If that were true...well...I'd hate to think it were true (2) I do miss her...and I feel I wanna tell her...so much. (3) I HATE that it feels like I'm doing nothing...if deep, deep down I want her back then it feels like I oughta be doing something (4) I feel like the longer she goes without hearing that I miss her, then the more likely she'll forget me and move on with some other w**nker BUT All that said...it has got to a point where I would literally be PETRIFIED of contacting her now. I just don't think I could take opening the wound up again...she hurt me VERY badly indeed and I'm extremely wary of further rejection. So...internal conflict it is I hear ya 100% on all of these. Its tough to think that they're moving on and forgetting about you, so you reach out....but all you do is push them further away. Its a Lose/Lose situation...they have to come back to you.
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