Chris715 Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 I get it, I know it's a ****ed up idea but it's all I can think about right now. I'm ****ing furious as her tonight, all the **** she's put me through because she needed a shoulder to cry on. And when she's all better she casts me aside like I'm useless. She told me if I ever killed myself over her she would be miserable and told me "**** you for even mentioning it". Even then she only cared about how SHE would feel if I was dead, but at least I know it would hurt her. Again, I know the idea is pretty messed up, but I can't see my life getting better at this point and if I ended it maybe she would ****ing think about what she did for once and realize she can't just use people and live selfishly. Maybe she would finally regret some of the things that she did, if only out of guilt. So hung up on her tonight... Not even her really, just the torrent of emotions she's left me with over the past year. All the sadness, anger, depression, doubt has been festering and I guess this is the result. Think I'm having something of a panic attack tonight and I'm seriously ****ed.
Author Chris715 Posted November 7, 2013 Author Posted November 7, 2013 **** this, I'm calling a hotline or something 1
Reels Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 It fails, she won't get convinced.. Trust me, i had tried that once. All i had was more lies(although positive) from her, and then fully ignored after 3 months.. Point is if she don't like you, she will just ignore everything you do.
Oldcatskinner Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 She told me if I ever killed myself over her she would be miserable and told me "**** you for even mentioning it". Even then she only cared about how SHE would feel if I was dead, but at least I know it would hurt her. Don't put too much stock in that. Did she ever tell you she liked you she wanted to be with you, or she was happy to have you? That's a strong wager on what was said in the past. Should you kill yourself, you lose.
Nubcake Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 My ex use to say if I died she would the next day. Now she could care less what happens to me heh. 1
xpaperxcutx Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 You want to talk about suicide? Who will it really benefit in the long run? It will only make you look like you're nuts or crazy in her eyes and it will confirm why her decision to break up with you was right to her. Don't pretend that hurting yourself is going to bring her back it won't. Don't give her the benefit and prove that she's right. You are a great person despite her and you need to prove that you can live a better life than her. 3
lindsay1990 Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 EDIT: omg sorry wrong thread Suicide will only make her think you are crazy and it was ultimately in her best interest to be away from you. She might think: "If he can kill himself, maybe he could have even killed me, who knows?" sucks but true. did you call the hotline? 1
penultimatethrow Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 Agree with the others. Don't do anything drastic, she is NOT worth it. Call a hotline, call a friend, just talk to someone and tell them what you're thinking. Get the feelings out there, cry, punch a pillow, go for a run, chop some logs, dance to some angry music, swim, whatever. But don't hurt yourself, don't hurt other people, don't damage anything. You'll only regret any of those three things, and she is NOT NOT NOT NOT worth it. Stay strong 1
emi Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 I wouldnt kill myself for who doesnt give a **** about me 3
Zahara Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 Really? Suicide to get back at her. Once they've laid you down in the ground and covered you up, that's it. No more Chris. Poof! Gone. Never to see Chris again. There goes ex, moved on, dating and having the time of her life. But where's Chris? He committed suicide to get back at her. Apparently, it didn't work because years down she's done and forgotten about it all. She's getting married, planning to have kids...but where's Chris? Suicide is permanent. What you are feeling now is temporary. Don't be short sighted about life. A year from now, all this would be irrelevant. Your feelings would have changed and you'd be in a much better place. 6
Never Again Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 An ex girlfriend of mine used suicide to get back at me. I did nothing but support her, but needed to distance myself for my own mental health because she was toxic. We both began dating other people - but when she found out I was seeing someone else, she freaked. She got drunk, sent harassing messages to me and my new girl, and then killed herself. She left a note blaming me, saying that she hoped her death would scar me and my new relationship. It did. After the honeymoon period "high" began to wear off 8 months later, the guilt ate at me. I fell into a minor depression, and lost that "in love" feeling with the new girl. I pulled away from the her. I never talked to her about it, and never bitched or moped, but I wasn't myself. I was a ghost, but I knew I loved her and needed to get my **** together. She felt that something was "off" but never asked me - she just assumed it was the relationship, felt the "spark" was gone, and walked away without ever asking if I was okay. I had tried to protect her from my pain, and lost her instead. I hit absolute rock bottom - I felt guilty for hurting someone I loved and for destroying the best relationship I ever had...on top of everything else. It has been nearly a year since my ex's death, and 5 months since the "new girl" left me. I've healed a lot, but I still think about both of them nearly every day. Not out of longing, but sadness and regret. -------------------------------------------------------- I shared this because I need you to realize that you are being incredibly selfish right now, but that it's not your fault. You're hurt. It's not your ex's fault either, and you need to forgive her and let it go. No matter what she did, she's not worth your life. You're so concerned with how hurting yourself will affect her that you're losing yourself. You're falling into this hole of how to "win" this fight. That lingering thought to hurt yourself comes from within you - your ex's behavior might've been a catalyst, but you are the point of origin. She doesn't matter. You do. Yes, your actions may hurt her. They may torture her and make her think about things. You could "win" (just like my ex did), and ensure that she's miserable and lonely for a long time (just like I am). And in the process you'll also hurt and destroy your family and friends. It would define how everyone remembers you, and any memory of you would be tainted with sadness. Every person that was ever close to you will feel guilty, and will wonder what they could've done differently and why they didn't see this coming. You will be piercing the heart of every single person you've ever cared about. Is that the kind of person you want to be? Is that how you want to be remembered? I say this, not to be cruel, but to be real with you, because you're better than that. I don't know you at all, and I can still tell you with 100% certainty that you're better than that. By simply being alive, you are loved by someone. You should be one of those "someones". Love yourself enough to put yourself first - above whatever your ex did to you, and above the need to cause her guilt, pain, or "teach" her anything. After all, you get what anyone else gets in this world - you get a lifetime. Make the most of it. For you and no one else. 4
KathyM Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 As others have said, trying or succeeding in killing yourself will only confirm to her that you are seriously messed up and that she was right to leave you. You and your family will be the ones to suffer the consequences. She will go on to live a life with someone else. Please DO call the suicide hotline. There are compassionate people there who can help you.
Toddbt12y1 Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 You'll succeed in hurting the ones who really do love you, not her though. She may be shocked, and generally upset, but in the end, will move on and you'll be nigh forgotten. As other posters have said: she is selfish. Even now, she will only think of the hurt you'll cause her. You cannot force someone you love to love you back. She wasn't right, and still won't be right long after this suicide scare is over. She doesn't love you, but you should love yourself enough to not kill yourself over some girl, and someone so temporary in your life. You're still breathing. You are fully capable of moving on and finding a better girl. Why destroy any future prospects for this girl? You don't need her. You don't owe her anything. But, you owe yourself life and a chance to find a good person. It will be hard, but be strong and be a man. Put her in her place. Rather then her putting you in the grave. Be strong...hope is there. 3
tjr Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 This would only hurt the ones that truely care for you. She might get a few pangs of if onlys, but they will fade. To give any semblence of "punishment" would be carry on live your life as great as you can. Its hard to see believe me i fight long hard days to see the light, but you have to. Find some little thing that gives you hope. Sun on your face, purr of a cat, smiles of cute babies. Think of things that can be changed. Nothing is truly hopeless and situations can change. 2
d0nnivain Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 Threatening suicide is not a tactic. It is also disrespectful to those of us who lost someone to that tragedy. Would you lie to her & tell her you have cancer to get her back? Of course not, don't make empty threats about this either. If you are truly so distraught that you can't see another option, please call a hotline, talk to a friend or go to your nearest emergency room.
Dumped85 Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 I threatened suicide to the ex and said I couldn't take it anymore. Ended up getting a 2 hour conversation with her out of it. Asked her to be friends, then I pushed that opportunity away aswell. I had strong feelings for her. And she knew that. Point is don't mention suicide, only creates temporary sympathy, then just straight out resentment.
d0nnivain Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 I have VERY strong feelings about suicide attempts. After losing a dear friend, if somebody tells me they are thinking about killing themselves, I keep them talking, find another phone & call the police where they live. The police then show up & forcibly take that person to a local hospital emergency room for observation & evaluation. It has saved at least 2 people's lives that I know about but if you are the type of IDIOT (yes I am shouting) that would threaten something like this, think about my reaction & think about the consequences including the emergency room bill if you encounter somebody like me who upon hearing your statement starts proceedings to have you involuntarily committed for your own safety. If you are genuinely in pain, get help. If you are doing this to get somebody's attention, find another way. FWIW, if I found out you made it up & it was just an empty threat, you wouldn't have to kill yourself. I'd want to do it for you for being so utterly cruel & insensitive as to play with my feelings like that. Stupid statements like, I'm gonna threaten to kill myself so h/she'll take me back really p!$$ me off. 1
Nubcake Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 I threatened suicide to the ex and said I couldn't take it anymore. Ended up getting a 2 hour conversation with her out of it. Asked her to be friends, then I pushed that opportunity away aswell. I had strong feelings for her. And she knew that. Point is don't mention suicide, only creates temporary sympathy, then just straight out resentment. That's definitely true. I was able to get one last hour conversation out of my ex because I mentioned my suicidal thoughts. Her temporary sympathy ran out during the conversation.
Author Chris715 Posted November 7, 2013 Author Posted November 7, 2013 I have VERY strong feelings about suicide attempts. After losing a dear friend, if somebody tells me they are thinking about killing themselves, I keep them talking, find another phone & call the police where they live. The police then show up & forcibly take that person to a local hospital emergency room for observation & evaluation. It has saved at least 2 people's lives that I know about but if you are the type of IDIOT (yes I am shouting) that would threaten something like this, think about my reaction & think about the consequences including the emergency room bill if you encounter somebody like me who upon hearing your statement starts proceedings to have you involuntarily committed for your own safety. If you are genuinely in pain, get help. If you are doing this to get somebody's attention, find another way. FWIW, if I found out you made it up & it was just an empty threat, you wouldn't have to kill yourself. I'd want to do it for you for being so utterly cruel & insensitive as to play with my feelings like that. Stupid statements like, I'm gonna threaten to kill myself so h/she'll take me back really p!$$ me off. I'm not threatening suicide just for the sake of it or anything like that. I've had a lot of bad things happen over the last year. Not all of it my ex's fault, but a lot spurred on by the depression caused by my nasty break up. So yeah, I've been in fairly constant pain the last year and suicide has been a real consideration of mine. Last night I had a panic attack and was fixated on the idea of her being guilty over my death but believe me, that's only been a very tiny piece of it. And if I killed myself like a lot of people said I might temporarily hurt her but I'm sure she'd get over it anyway.
Blastoplast Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 you know how to get back at your EX? Find a more passionate, intelligent, hotter woman and live your life to its fullest. 3
Toddbt12y1 Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 A lot of bad happens to people and on constant. It does not mean it will last forever. I had dealt with a bad cheater, and one who was glad to do it. We ended, it hurt. A month after breaking up, I got into a superbad wreck. Totalled car, and friends got her. Another wreck after that. All on top of dealing with various other problems. I thought I was cursed. Point is...it does end. It won't end as long as you wallow in your misery. You should improve yourself. Be selfish. Go live and well, and find another girl. One who loves you. You can love. You're acting cowardly. Be strong and live well. Endure, as many other people have, and many have found better people.
pteromom Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 And if I killed myself like a lot of people said I might temporarily hurt her but I'm sure she'd get over it anyway. Well, it would certainly give her a sad story to gain sympathy from the next guy she dates. She isn't worth it. And I am really sorry you have been having a tough time lately. Rather than thinking about ending it by dying, think about what you can change in your life that will start making it better. If you are in near constant pain though, you may need to be on some meds to help regulate your emotions. Have you seen a professional?
Author Chris715 Posted November 7, 2013 Author Posted November 7, 2013 Well, it would certainly give her a sad story to gain sympathy from the next guy she dates. She isn't worth it. And I am really sorry you have been having a tough time lately. Rather than thinking about ending it by dying, think about what you can change in your life that will start making it better. If you are in near constant pain though, you may need to be on some meds to help regulate your emotions. Have you seen a professional? Nope. At one point seeing one on my campus might've been an option but since then I've dropped most of my classes for the semester, so I don't think I'd qualify. Last I checked they were available for full time students. Only other option would be to get one through my parent's health care... And I'm not about to go down that road.
Simon Phoenix Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 Nope. At one point seeing one on my campus might've been an option but since then I've dropped most of my classes for the semester, so I don't think I'd qualify. Last I checked they were available for full time students. Only other option would be to get one through my parent's health care... And I'm not about to go down that road. Get over your pride and do it. You need help. I mean, you were thinking of committing suicide to get your ex to pay attention to you. You need counseling badly. 2
d0nnivain Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 I'm not threatening suicide just for the sake of it or anything like that. I've had a lot of bad things happen over the last year. Not all of it my ex's fault, but a lot spurred on by the depression caused by my nasty break up. So yeah, I've been in fairly constant pain the last year and suicide has been a real consideration of mine. Last night I had a panic attack and was fixated on the idea of her being guilty over my death but believe me, that's only been a very tiny piece of it. And if I killed myself like a lot of people said I might temporarily hurt her but I'm sure she'd get over it anyway. Sweetie -- if you are in THAT much pain, you need help, love & understanding none of which you will get from your EX. Please, please, please talk to a friend, call a counselor, go to a teacher, tell your parents, get into therapy. Nobody needs to fight through the genuine demons alone. There are resources. Use one but don't think that your condition will cause your EX to come back. It doesn't work that way. I do hope you work through this because you will devastate the people who love you if you leave this earth by your own hand.
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