sporteguy03 Posted December 16, 2004 Posted December 16, 2004 This is an update from a previous post, I 'd appreciate everyone for reading this Maybe it will help someone ......I met a girl on match.com after talking to her on the phone and online for a few weeks. We seemed to get together fine, I went out with her on a date, bought her a small bouqout of flowers.... I let her talk and I proceeded to ask questions about her to show interest in her, I used fill-in questions for the moments of silence. She was concerned about her body, I complimented her on her appearance both physically and personally. She said she had fun and I asked her if we were dating just to see to see if we were on the same page she said maybe. Key points:She had fun, maybe we were dating, I showed interest in her by following up on her interests. I tried repeatingly to contact her on the phone, can't get through, shes either busy or does not get back to me, finally she uses AOL to im me about why our relationship will not work, interesting since I myself never implied anything of the sort, remember I asked her if we were dating? She says I was creepy to ask her that on a first date at the end of after spending 6 hours eating out and talking at her place, remember she had fun and she did say it would be fun to get together again. She goes on to say she had to hold up the conversation and I said nothing,( this girl told me befrore I met her she was shy) wow funny how she'd do all the talking then right? I told her I was interested in her and did not want to interupt her and because I was eating too and I have manners to not eat with my mouth open,lol. I then sugguested ok, one date might not be enough let's go on another one. She then claims I was selling myself by being persistent to see her again. I told her of course I am, we all do that whether we know it or not, by how we dress, how we smile etc. It takes time to develop something one date is not enough and on the next one I could talk more about myself and she can ask me questions right? I think that sounds fair right? She tells me to let go of the relationship part and I do, even though we were not in one and said where do we go from here? Can we be friends? Ignore you? She again says we were not in a relationship and says we have two different opinions and we were arguing, I told her everyone has an opinion. And we were communicating about how we felt not arguing. I go on to ask her why did she not say this on the date and she says it was not appropriate to? So she in fact was lying to me instead. For some reason. I was upfront and honest and told her face to face I liked her and thought she was a terrific person. I hugged her did not even kissed her yet, I did open doors for her, listened to her and met her rooomates. She never offered to pay for dinner at least her part, I know a guy should pay(Girls some guys do like when you offer it makes it seem your not just leeching off your date for money or dinner). At this point I flat out said why don't you say you don't like me and reject me instead of giving a laundry list of excuses that are silly. She would not say it. I told her based on her profile I was a honest, open guy and was a gentlemen in every way. She said we should have differences and we did I did not like art she did, I respected that. I did not apologize for anything , I told her we all have flaws and its accepting those that make a relationship/friendship stronger. She said I left her no option except that she should marry me????? Did I even mention Marry in my paragraphs or questions? I simply told her how I felt that I liked her which is fine, we guys can like a girl you know for who they are. If she said to me face to face I don't like you I'd admire that more then lies at least your being honest and forefront. I don't mind getting rejected, it does not hurt me it is a part of life like death, disease, if you accept that it is there it will not hurt you. No matter how harsh it could be. Besides I have 150 rejection letters from employers so it does not phase me. My point: Girls be upfront to a guy especially if he is like me, I know I read some things on here about nice guys being not liked because they are well "nice" just say thank you to them if they date you be appreciative it goes a long way. Remember treat others how you want to be treated, you never know how you act to that one person could effect you in life. I talked to a female friend of mine who went out on a few dates with guys and said they were horny and tried to spoil her. She was upset. I don't blame her! You might ask why don't I date her, well she was recently married and her husband died and it was too much for me at my age to deal with, but I told her this and we are now friends. I was honest to how I felt because I'd expect the same in return. Before I go, I'm a nice guy and will be til I'm gone so bad guys look out us nice guys are not throwing in the towel just yet! Thanks for reading guys please comment.
Merin Posted December 16, 2004 Posted December 16, 2004 Hmm.. I say this girl you dated was a assclownette in disguise and you are lucky you didn't spend more time with her.. I'm sorry things didn't work out.. I think it may have freaked her out a little when you asked her IF the 2 of you were now dating.. it is a bit forward for a first date.. but none the less.. Sounds like she is kind of a flake.. and honestly it would have been more appropriate for her to tell you she didn't feel there was a connection, then to have been a rudeass in not returning your calls.
XNemesisX Posted December 16, 2004 Posted December 16, 2004 I can kind of see her point of view on this matter, although I think she could have been a little more kind in her responses. Maybe not so sarcastic. Maybe you should try to take it a little more slow next time. Don't compliment SO much, and don't ask someone if you all are dating at the end of the first date. Don't show TOO much interest at first. It takes people a while to warm up to the idea of really liking someone enough to say that they are "dating" Take it more slow next time. There is such a thing as being TOO nice in the beginning. One date is not enough time to ask someone that. That would scare most people off. This is some tough love, but don't come off so strong like that in the beginning. Just play it cool. Coming off too pushy and strong can tend to backfire and make you appear desperate (huge turn off).
savethedrama4allama Posted December 16, 2004 Posted December 16, 2004 Just the fact that you've written this enormous post about a woman you met online and went on one date with tells me that you were trying too hard. You can't ask someone on the first date if you are "dating." She has not even gotten a chance to get to know you. Yes, she could have been much more polite to you about it- that is her mistake.
Author sporteguy03 Posted December 16, 2004 Author Posted December 16, 2004 I did admit to her I came on too strong, you can never try too hard though, you can put less effort into it yes, but thats a turn off too. It shows your not as interested. Geez when was the last time you had a compliment about yourself given by someone that was not sexually oreintated?
savethedrama4allama Posted December 16, 2004 Posted December 16, 2004 Originally posted by sporteguy03 Geez when was the last time you had a compliment about yourself given by someone that was not sexually oreintated? Say what?
Author sporteguy03 Posted December 16, 2004 Author Posted December 16, 2004 That was comment was directed at the poster previous to you about complimenting too much. The compliments I gave to this girl were not you have a big booty or nice legs, they were you look really great tonight, I like your smile and I admire your hard work in school. Those are not even romantically based just everyday compliments I feel can brighten someone's day.
savethedrama4allama Posted December 16, 2004 Posted December 16, 2004 Well orientated is not a word, perhaps you meant interested?
xxsilverdragonxx Posted December 17, 2004 Posted December 17, 2004 Medication and education is what this kwazy rabbit prescribes. I can't stop laughing.
aFighter Posted December 18, 2004 Posted December 18, 2004 creepy. The whole thing just smacks of..........cooties
Mary3 Posted December 20, 2004 Posted December 20, 2004 Nice is well....BORING....seriously.....toooooo nice.....tooooo clingy....tooooo ... Next time drag her by the hair to the car and slam that Broad hard onto the seat while screaming for her to stay put while you put her seatbelt on...Demand she pay for her half of the meal ( lol )..... Girls like *bad* boys ...Get a backbone.... ( jk on the above for anyone taking me seriously....)
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