Seeing each other, commitment

[summer7]

So in the summer I went out with my friends and ended up seeing one of my friends who's a year older than me there and she knew this group of guys that were there. The group of guys actually went to my high school but were a a year older than I. I hooked up with this one guy, lets call him Daniel.

 

The next weekend I went out again and saw him but he was trying to get with another girl, that was fine, obviously a little jealous cuz that's who I am. But a group of us walked to the bus stop together and bussed home. He kept saying how much fun was last weekend (obviously completely trashed) and anyway I was like yeah sure. Then as he was leaving the bus he looked right back at me and just said good night, when he got off I looked out and he was looking at me.

 

That week he added me on facebook and started messaging me. We talked and eventually he asked if I was going out the next weekend. The next weekend came and my friend and I went out and him and I hooked up and slept over as his house. Now when I say sleep over I literally just mean make out, I have never had sex and I'm 19.

 

Throughout the next couple of weeks he would text me at night when he was drunk and ask me if I was up and stuff. Eventually we texted a bit, and another friend finally convinced me that if I wanted something out of this I needed to do something. So I asked if he wanted to hang out and we ended up going to the Aquarium, he picked me up and I had a really good time, he even texted me later that night. This girl that is his friend is also my really good friend so she told me that Daniel said he's been in relationships pretty much his whole life and he isn't looking for one. So of course, I wanted to be whatever he wanted. So I brought it up and was like Just so you know, my friend told me you just wanted to have fun and that's fine with me.

 

The next week we ended up watching a movie at his house and hooked up. He texted me a bit that week, and then the next week we ended up watching football together and hooked up and talked. and it felt so special because I have never really done any of this before. I've been pretty closed off most of my life so I've never had this kind of opportunity (I never used to go out much). Anyway that next week we didn't text/talk at all, but on the Sunday he texted me to make sure I was going out to this club that night (he had asked pretty much every week before that if I was going too) so we of course hooked up that night and he asked if I wanted to stay over, but I had already planned with my friend that weren't going to because she didn't want too. So my answer straight away was no. And he totally and completely turned cold, and I knew I made a mistake, it sucked. Anyway he definitely was acting a little cold but I tried to make it better. anyway I texted him the next day and he didn't really respond how he normally would, so I knew something was wrong. My friend ended up telling me he had set up candles and everything for when we got back to his because he really thought I was going to come back with him. And I even know for a fact that we would not have had sex if I didn't want too because he is just that respectful of a guy that I would just know it would be okay.

 

Anyway that friday we had said we would hang out and I said i'd come up with something. But the day came and he was like oh did I forget to tell you that I was studying all day? and I'm like yeah.... whatever and he's like we can do something later and so I'm like okay. So we ended up going to see a movie and after the movie I asked if he wanted to sleep over and he was like really? (he was surprised) and I was like yeah! my parents are away. So then we went to his house to pick up some stuff and then went to mine. That night I told him I wanted to go further but that I was scared and he kept saying he didn't want to pressure me but I ended up giving him a hand job, but that was it. The next morning he had to leave early but it was a good night.

 

The next weekend I had a boat cruise and dressed up and the Saturday I got a text from him saying How amazing I looked in the pictures and how much he wished he went. That Saturday night there was a soccer party that his team was having. He didn't invite me or anything but my friend and I decided to go (it was like a club party for anyone to attend). He texted me but most of his texts were illegible. My friend and I arrived, and right then his friends came outside saying Girl you just missed him! He got kicked out of the party and just went home with his ex-girlfriend. So naturally Daniel booty called his ex-girlfriend. I was like great, that makes me feel just awesome. His friend also told me he was interested in me and his lab partner (that one day I got blown off was cuz he was studying, with his lab partner) Anyway we hung out with his friends and one of them pretty much hooked up with me but I didn't kiss back and sent a snap chat of this to Daniel(i guess to bug him or whatever). His friends texted him from my phone saying I went home with his really good friend Joe but I didn't. I then sent him a text that said 'While you have other girls you can forget about me but then his friend wrote that it was from him, so it made it look like I didn't say it. Anyway next morning he texted me and said sorry but I didn't really respond, and I'm talking one word answers here. anyway didn't talk to him at all in the week.

 

Halloween night came and he ended up going with his friends to the bar that I was at and came up to me and I asked if we could talk and he pretty much said he was so sorry and that he never meant to hurt me. He said he was drunk out of his mind but he knows that's not an excuse. He said "I'd date you but my past relationships have been so bad that it makes me not want too or something" anyway then he kissed me and I'm horrible because I cannot hold a grudge so I just of course wanted just to kiss him too. We hooked up that night and he asked if I wanted to sleep over. All I wanted to do was sleep over, so I said I would. That night we only made out, he asked if I wanted to have sex but I said I wasn't ready. The next day we talked about that past weekend,Halloween night and hooked up and I ended up staying at his house until 5 pm. He said he wanted to have sex with me so badly but I said you need to wait and he's like yeah the last thing I want to ever do is pressure you and he was honestly so sincere about it. He said he'd do such things to me when I'm ready and repeatedly said I was so hot which made me feel amazing. He told me that he would've been mad as well if it was the reverse situation and I had called my ex bf up( I've never had a boyfriend though and he knows all this). And that he would be upset as well if I hooked up with one of his friends.

The next day I wished him good luck on his soccer game and now it's this week currently.

My friend (who's also his friend) told me that there's this German girl in his Spanish class that is apparently a model and he can't believe that she's giving him the time of day and he's on cloud nine right now. So I guess they're talking a lot? I have no idea. So that makes me understand why he hasn't texted me at all. But when my friend told me this, my heart instantly sank. To know about that, just absolutely sucks.

So really. He could be wheeling on this German girl, his lab partner, me and gosh knows who else.

I really have not a single clue what to do, because I do like this guy, and I kind of want him to be my first. Help me please.

If I tell him I can't do this because I know your feelings won't be reciprocated will that make him forget about me, or would that make him want me more?

[laylay305]

i feel for you. i've been in similar situations. i find, in general, people tell you exactly who they are and what they want. he said he doesn't want to date you/isn't looking for anything serious--you have to take that at face value. you deserve better than that. from what you wrote, it seems like you're looking for a boyfriend--a real relationship that consists of dates and reciprocity of feelings. i don't want to tell you what to do, but i think you'd be better off waiting to lose your virginity to someone who respects and cares about you.