thembones Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 I will do my best to keep it brief and to the point. I am 30, she is 24. We dated earlier this year for four months, but broke up because she thought we were looking for different things. We got back together for two months, but she dumped me because she didn't have time for a relationship. She has a hard time expressing her emotions and only really said anything emotional during sex. She dumped me and we talked a couple days later about everything on the phone. So, we talked and I told her that I thought we could work through our problems and I wanted to try to make it work. She said she loved me and those feelings were scaring her, due to being hurt in the past (This was the first time she EVER said anything close to that!!). I am not sure if I loved her, but I had strong feelings towards her. She said she wanted it to work with me, but it was just too much for her right now. I don't really know what I am asking. I guess I am just looking for anything anyone might have to say. Why would she tell me this after it's all over? I don't know if this made it easier or harder for me.
Riou Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 She wants to continue keeping you there so she can break up with you 3rd,4th,5th time..get out as early as you can,seeing that it's not a LTR.Find someone who is sure about being with you.
strive Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 She says she loves you but is afraid because she was hurt in the past. It means she's emotionally unavailable. She has to let go of her fears first before you can have a meaningful relationship with her. Maybe take a step back and let her sort herself out first (and sort yourself out too since you're not sure if you love her--maybe that's why she's so afraid), because if she's in this state and you continue with it, it'll just end in disaster. 2
Author thembones Posted November 8, 2013 Author Posted November 8, 2013 She told me that once her feelings got a certain way, she was just scared of moving forward and all she could do was run away. I tell myself I'd never do it to myself again, but I guess it just depends on my situation. You can only try so hard...
xUnknown Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 I think thats what happened, as she said. She said she loved you and got scared. I agree, she needs to get rid of the fear first. I think a lot is if she cares about you this much now, and you don't feel the same, she doesn't want to get hurt. Getting out now is her way to protect herself from potential hurt later. I'd say give it some time, figure out if you want to be with her. If you do in fact love her, tell her, perhaps things will work out then. I know from my past experience, that girls never say "I love you" first, because it scares the guy away. I said it to my gf first, she repeated it, and even then I was happy, but kinda scared as well. She said it first and is now, I would bet, afraid she is going to push you away. Take some time apart and figure out if you want to be with her. Best of luck to ya!
Author thembones Posted November 9, 2013 Author Posted November 9, 2013 I don't know what to do. We were so good together but the relationship was more me than her. She sacrificed a lot, but I always felt like I was pushing it. I don't know if I should give it some time and ask her flat out if we will ever be able to try again. But if I do that, I fear she will keep me on the back burner and do it all over again. I should probably just let it go.. She already said there was nothing I could have done, and it was all her.
ponchsox Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 Sometimes love and the relationship are two different things. You can enjoy one and not the other.
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