FML1980. Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 My husband has a child with another woman. She had their child a week before i had ours (In september), so he was sleeping with her and coming home and getting in bed with me. He doesn't seem too sympathetic, he told me ' I'm sorry but what's done is done theres nothing I can do about It'. This is torture for me, If I didn't have a child I would probably kill myself out of spite. I don't know what to do with myself, we have been together for so long I almost feel like I don't have a life without him. Anybody have any advice..or ANYTHING for me? I know that I don't want to be with him anymore, but this isn't easy at all..
strive Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 I'm so sorry this happened to you. I think this is one of the most painful things that could happen to anyone. I can't imagine how it would feel if my ex suddenly says he got another woman pregnant (when he couldn't even support our child--but that's just my hangups). I'm sorry I have no advice for you, but please know that I'm very sorry you're experiencing this kind of pain.
Author FML1980. Posted November 7, 2013 Author Posted November 7, 2013 Balzac he just told me three days ago
Balzac Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 OUCH oh you're in shock. This is a supportive and informative place. No surprise that suicide has crossed your mind. This situation is not a reflection on you. He alone owns his behavior. Keep posting. Lets hear it.
headinthecloud Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 Agreed, you're in shock. I'm so sorry this happened to you, you don't deserve this. Everything you're feeling right now will pass. But it takes time so try and be patient with yourself. It's a rollercoaster of emotions - one minute you're feeling fine and the next a flood of emotions fall upon you. First off, prioritize what's important. You and your newborn baby come first. Do you have a good support network of friends or family that you can talk to?
emi Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 Why would you kill yourself for A CHEATER/LIAR/UNRESPOSIBLE person? And what the f**** with ''' I'm sorry but what's done is done theres nothing I can do about it'' Cmon, serisouly? If i were you, and he talked with me like that. My pride wouldnt have allowed it. I couldnt care less whether he is the father of my child because my child certainly wouldnt want a father like that. Are u financially depend on him? If no, then cut him out, raise your child by yourself. Im sure with you, your friends/family will support your decision.
Balzac Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 I couldnt care less whether he is the father of my child because my child certainly wouldnt want father like that It's interrsting to know your thoughts. No child is able to choose biological parents. No child is able to choose half siblings. How any individual parent chooses to manage infidelity within a marriage that involves children is often initially an economic one. Absent financial resources of substantial and immediate availability, most folks need time to get a plan. 1
Balzac Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 First and foremost is to understand that you are not responsible for his behavior. You have no reason to feel embarrassed nor shame. Granted its shocking and painful news. 1
Zahara Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 He doesn't seem too sympathetic, he told me ' I'm sorry but what's done is done theres nothing I can do about It'. This is torture for me, If I didn't have a child I would probably kill myself out of spite. I don't know what to do with myself, we have been together for so long I almost feel like I don't have a life without him. Anybody have any advice..or ANYTHING for me? I know that I don't want to be with him anymore, but this isn't easy at all.. In other words, without any sign of remorse he was saying, "Tough shytt, deal with it." What a prize. Kill yourself out of spite. I just posted this on another thread. Killing yourself out of spite is stupid. Once you do that, you're done, gone, poof, evaporated, non-existent. This clown will probably maybe feel bad for a bit, but then he moves on with this other lady, and he lives his life doing whatever he wants. Where's FML? Well, she killed herself to spite the clown but that didn't work out because the clown is having a wonderful life with his new woman and child. Don't be ridicilous. Spite him? What about your child? Did you even think what would happen to him without you there? If you can't move on for yourself, move on for the kid. Your kid is your life. Not this man.
Author FML1980. Posted November 9, 2013 Author Posted November 9, 2013 (edited) Thanks for the comments everyone. I am moving out in the morning, .I haven't said much to him since he told me. He HAS asked me 8 or 9 times can we still have sex though (What a loser) Edited November 9, 2013 by FML1980. i 4
headinthecloud Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 I'm truly sorry you're going through this. Good for you for doing what's best for you and your baby. Love is blind. Be strong and post on here as often as you need to. Good luck with the move.
j.gman Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 Wow, this is truly a one of a kind situation. How can you let him cheat on you for so long without noticing? They even have a child together! There are just so many question.
Author FML1980. Posted November 10, 2013 Author Posted November 10, 2013 jg how was i supposed to know he was cheating? He never came home at unreasonable hours, he called me several times a day while he was at work and on break,we were still having sex all of the time, he still left his phone around me..nothing was different. Sometimes I wonder HOW he even found time to cheat, but I guess that doesn't matter now because he obviously did.
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