barbossa Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 you the girl who has been on OLD for years, still claiming you are new to the Metro area and want someone to show them around ( Still looking for a bigger better deal?) the guy who says he is single because he has high standards and is picky (what makes you think you are soooo great???) Maybe it is not them but it is YOU I sympathize with the 40+ crowd it is harder to meet people but younger people <35... You are a female college student 5'3, no income but want to date a guy over 5'8 and someone who makes over $65,000 ( what happened to equality?) when was the last time you ever ever saw a girl who said I want someone who makes the same amount of money as me or less? You are a guy who has not been laid in over a year and this and that girl is too ugly for you? ( Who do you think you are?) you deserve to be single! clearly no one is good enough for you and the ones who are good enough for you either do not have the same interest in you, or are taken and won't break up to date you so keep dreaming. all of your expectations are too high! you lie to yourself and say you just won't settle for less! puhleaze! (Who do you think you are!!! what you are so perfect?) I am not saying you should take crap from someone, or chase after someone who is lukewarm with you ( it is better to be single and content than be with someone who does not make you happy) IF they already have a bf/gf forget that isssh Find someone who makes you happy, Girls! men love it if you approach us, ask us out (Even to star bucks!) , take control its damn near 2014! BUT You will never find exactly what you want when you want it. (lie to yourself if you want) after my last break up i said I said i would only date a blond, If i had tried that i'd be still searching today...... IF you look for faults in people you are going to find faults! you have them, I have them, Everyone has them, No one is perfect! Einstein said to do the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity... If you keep doing what you have been doing you will keep getting same results! learn from your mistakes/notice red flags! a person who is interested in you won't sabotage their chances with you, if you have to guess if they are interested.... they are being lukewarm Cut your losses and move on. dating is hard for everyone, Keep yourself busy, do you first, make yourself happy, no one but you can make you happy, but you have to try, ain't no one going to fall from the sky for you Smile! look approachable!!!! put your Smart phone away! You see someone you like? go talk to them, or at least make eye contact and say hi. Take a chance! I wish everyone luck 1
ltjg45 Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 As I type this on my cell phone, I'm at a wine tasting Meetup event and I see a couple of women I am attracted to but, because of what you just posted, now I'm afraid of even talking to the because I know I'm worthless as a male. So don't think I don't know what you mean by your message.
Keenly Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 Well.... I haven't been laid in over a year, but I'm not going to date some one I'm not attracted to. You call it shallow. I call it knowing what makes me happy. 1
Phantom888 Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 Not everyone is like that. Yes there are people who aim way too high, and don't realize the flaws they have. Self reflection is really important. But I don't think people should settle for lower standards. If they want a good desirable partner, they will have to work on themselves too because there is much competition in the singles world. As people learn about themselves in the dating world, the quality of dates improve over time. Yes it's true that some people deserve to be single because they don't have much to offer. But there are plenty of great men and women who are waiting for their best match. Not necessarily the "bigger or better" fish, but just someone who matches them the best. 1
StanMusial Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 I get the impression girls on OLD are pickier. It is what it is. Very few girls are going to turn down a guy that is an inch or two under six feet if they meet him through friends or whatever (and they are attracted). And they're not going to ask his salary typically.
Sonya_dos Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 Being open-minded and taking risks is one thing. I agree with that. But I am guilty of being picky and sadly dating has become like shopping, esp online. Like buying a pair of shoes. You keep trying on different pairs until you find one that fits. And you can always take it back in 30 days. It's important to me to have someone I can relate to. So it might not be fair for me to turn down the nice manager at Sticky's BBQ Pit. But we are attracted to more than just physical looks and even personality. We have to be attracted to (or at least willing to explore) someone's lifestyle, social life, and professional life. I like dating someone opposite while maintaining certain standards. We're all different in how we view dating and maybe that hurts us or maybe that's the way things are now.
StanMusial Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 WTF?!?!? I am going to date who I want. Sounds to me like the OP does not have a lot self-respect, self-esteem or know his own self-worth. Perhaps if he got his validation and approval from within instead of whether or not he was in a relationship or not... He wouldn't be trying to convince everyone to settle or be perfectly fine with someone who doesn't really want him. Somebody didn't get enough hugs from daddy and lap time with mommy. Well, that's one way to look at the post. On the other hand, there is such a thing as being too picky. In my experience those people can benefit from a dose of reality from time to time.
Philosoraptor Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 Simply enough I believe anyone is entitled to have as high of standards as they want... I know mine have been called incredibly high in the past and I couldn't care less. If you want to dump someone because they dip their celery in peanut butter not ranch dressing... so be it. You shouldn't have to settle for anything when you are choosing who you want to spend your time with. So yes, be as picky as you want... as long as you are willing to live with your choices. What I dislike is hearing people whine about their own choices. If you have high standards, great... just don't whine about people not being able to meet them. 2
veggirl Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 I do agree that being on OLD websites for years is weird and and if you find yourself in that sitch perhaps it's time to take some sort of personal inventory/re-assess things....... but OP you sound so mad about it. Is it because even though these girls have been on the websites for years they still won't date you? and because the "better" guys don't like them (apparently) then they should date you but won't? How do you know they have been on the sites for years? And are still active? Could be old profiles they never disabled, esp if it's a free site.
truth_seeker Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 I do agree that being on OLD websites for years is weird and and if you find yourself in that sitch perhaps it's time to take some sort of personal inventory/re-assess things....... but OP you sound so mad about it. Is it because even though these girls have been on the websites for years they still won't date you? and because the "better" guys don't like them (apparently) then they should date you but won't? How do you know they have been on the sites for years? And are still active? Could be old profiles they never disabled, esp if it's a free site. I caught one girl playing games on OLD for YEARS. I remember after I let go of my LDR 4 years ago, I was hanging with family when my girl cousins said try match. I looked around using a free profile and saw a girl I recognized who lived in my city. I laughed because I found it funny someone I knew was on there. I never signed up. Fast forward 2 years later, after being set up with different women, I looked again at match. Same girl came up in the results. This time, I decided I would sign up and contact her. I send her a message telling her who I was, where I know her from, even dropped the name of a mutual acquaintance, and asked to meet for coffee. I get the strangest response ever and the profile is gone. I wasn't sure what to believe, did some investigating and found out she was on that website for several years playing games with guys. One of my friends told me to not get down on OLD and try again. I signed up again months later and she came up again in my search results with a different user name, different pic, was YOUNGER in age and changed locations. Talk about unstable and psychotic. 1
Author barbossa Posted November 8, 2013 Author Posted November 8, 2013 WTF?!?!? I am going to date who I want. Sounds to me like the OP does not have a lot self-respect, self-esteem or know his own self-worth. Perhaps if he got his validation and approval from within instead of whether or not he was in a relationship or not... He wouldn't be trying to convince everyone to settle or be perfectly fine with someone who doesn't really want him. Somebody didn't get enough hugs from daddy and lap time with mommy. not at all Look at all the threads... every week someone is starting a thread asking whether or not someone they know is interested in them or not I am saying if the sign are not clear .... they are not interested I am also saying people have way too high expectations and need to reassess themselves. No one is perfect but everyone chases out of their league. PS i will hug you
Author barbossa Posted November 8, 2013 Author Posted November 8, 2013 I caught one girl playing games on OLD for YEARS. I remember after I let go of my LDR 4 years ago, I was hanging with family when my girl cousins said try match. I looked around using a free profile and saw a girl I recognized who lived in my city. I laughed because I found it funny someone I knew was on there. I never signed up. Fast forward 2 years later, after being set up with different women, I looked again at match. Same girl came up in the results. This time, I decided I would sign up and contact her. I send her a message telling her who I was, where I know her from, even dropped the name of a mutual acquaintance, and asked to meet for coffee. I get the strangest response ever and the profile is gone. I wasn't sure what to believe, did some investigating and found out she was on that website for several years playing games with guys. One of my friends told me to not get down on OLD and try again. I signed up again months later and she came up again in my search results with a different user name, different pic, was YOUNGER in age and changed locations. Talk about unstable and psychotic. not mad, But bewilderd people complain about being single yet their standards for mates is so high that its hard to meet someone who meets the requrements I was picky once... but then i matured and saw the light. make up can make any girl hot...... and if we get along and have same goals.... thats all i need more potential dates
truth_seeker Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 I am saying if the sign are not clear .... they are not interested Yes and no. For the most part, if you're direct and the other person isn't then I agree with you... yet there are times when both people like each other but are unsure if the other is so they hold back, play games to see who will show their hand first. If no one does, then they just forget about it.
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