BruisedBNBroken Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 Been awhile since we've had one of these, thought we could update where we are at this point. In the A, out of the A, days NC, totally over it, etc. Guess I'll start: Short but intense affair that started somewhat in March and fully in June. Became a crazy person that I didn't recognize. The push and pull behavior of xAP threw me into complete emotional turmoil for months. Tried to end it at least 5 times, NC, LC, back on, lather, rinse, repeat. Final end last week and today is Day 7 NC. I'm absolutely miserable but was miserable throughout so i can only hope it has to get better. Husband and I officially separated on November 1. I never confessed the A but I was done deceiving everyone, including myself. When I cry in the shower, it's hard to determine which loss I am grieving with which tears. I guess it doesn't really matter. Let's hear some happy news!!
bentleychic Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 (((Bruised))) wishing you a quick and peaceful recovery from the A. 1
whichwayisup Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 You will get through this, rely on good friends and family. It'll take time to grieve both losses but you'll be okay as time goes on. You sound strong and determined! Happy news? You are FREE of the emotional roller coaster ride! 1
JPMC Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 Ended affair 3 years ago, were still leaving breadcrumbs on line. Called her after 2.5 years, called me back month later, game on again. Saw one another, got caught. She's in a divorce, my wife who was in her own affair, stay with me. Wife and her AP partner broke up. Me and my AP broke it off. Marriage good again. Hear from AP 2 times a month. I can actually be friends with her. She has boyfriend. Went complete NC for 28 days. Never ends.
simplicity1 Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 day 8 of NC nearly complete, with only one exception after his few attempts to break NC when I told him to stop contacting me unless his circumstances change. I feel like my emotions often renormalize in the sense that I forget just how bad I would sometimes feel and set a new bar for what "feeling bad" means, if this makes sense. So it doesn't necessarily feel like I'm progressing when in reality what I define as feeling bad is probably far less intense than it was even two weeks ago. still deeply hoping he'll come find me one day soon 1
Lessons Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 Two-year affair, both married, finally couldn't deal with the double life and associated guilt. Never got caught - just knew we couldn't continue. Tried the friendzone - not a chance. Now total NC . . . today is day 21. Feeling stronger every day, although I miss xMOM terribly. Can't believe I risked my marriage - I am now in IC trying to understand why I did it.
Goodbye Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 Had a relationship with exMM starting 6/12 (the physical part). Emotional stuff started (long distance) 3 months prior. Saw him in various cities until he confessed that he wasn't in the process of divorce as originally claimed, sometime last winter. Saw him one more time in March at which point he claimed he was coming clean to the W and moving out, none of which happened. No real D day as far as I know. I ended things, went NC. He has broken NC several times over the months. Completely shut down all modes of communication with him 2 months ago...been 100% NC for 2 months and I feel A LOT better. Such relief. I am in a peaceful place and have no room in my life for his nonsense. I've stopped debated telling the W (this was something I struggled with) and feel fine with them moving on in their life together...whatever that entails. 1
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