Rafaela Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 Hi everyone and thanks for checking my post. been dating for 4 months, agreed on first date that I am only looking for a serious relationship that goes far to marriage, he explained that he is not ready for marriage any soon(since he got divorced 2ys ago) but definitely looking for a serious relationship. when he is bad: 1- Cold and Dry (never said romantic, cute names) 2- He criticizes me and barely compliments me 3- he argues in public and walk on me 4- he wants me to spend night over more often and when I don't, he gives me cold shoulder. 5-Haven't expressed his feelings towards me. he only says I like you and want to get to know you more. 6-arguments turns nasty with F and B word 7- he picks on girls in public and stare at them when I am with him. 8- he get's super jealous if I am having fun with friends in front of him. When he is good: 1-plays and teases me and hugs me while watching movie 2- holds my hand in public 3- introduced me to his brother and sister and chill out with his friends 4-he shares his frustration at work/ family Sexually: ( at first month of dating he was making sure to stay longer and satisfying me and worries when I am not done. Now he finishes quickly and gets up) Note: he is 30y/ I am 24y I honestly like him but I realized I am not being treated right or appreciated. thought to drop the (break up topic). what you think???
jphcbpa Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 frankly, this will only get worse. you are very young and it seems you want more. why settle 1
Maxtor Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 If this is the reality, he mistreats you, and doesnt appreciate you, he calls you names, which shows lack of respect. It wont get any better. Time to go.
tunaluna Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 If you know you are not being treated right then why stay?
TaraMaiden Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 It's been this short a time, and already you're seeing the flaws? The good whould most certainly outweigh the bad, now, or however far down the line you go. THIS however, is the biggest red flag: been dating for 4 months, agreed on first date that I am only looking for a serious relationship that goes far to marriage, he explained that he is not ready for marriage any soon(since he got divorced 2ys ago) but definitely looking for a serious relationship. Already - at the first date - you were looking for different things. Me? in your shoes? given the different aims revealed in the first date, AND the fact that he is a recent divorcee, AND the fact that already, you're seeing serious flaws in the way he treats you - .....me? I'd try to get in touch with his ex- and ask her why they split. If she gives you reasons similar to your perceptions of the flaws in his treatment of you - know now, that he will NEVER change, and this is the way he is. It's never going to get better than this.
TaraMaiden Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 Oh, and to add: I wouldn't 'drop the break up topic'..... I'd break up. End of topic.
LivingDeadGrl Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 You listed 8 cons and what, 4 pros? When the bad outweighs the good you've got to move on. You're only 24, there are plenty of fish in the sea
TaraMaiden Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 And those pro's....? Really? is that all you can come up with? They're not even efforts on his part. I don't see them as pro's, they're just natural evolutions in a relationship. Or one that should be improving.... 4
soccerrprp Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 And those pro's....? Really? is that all you can come up with? They're not even efforts on his part. I don't see them as pro's, they're just natural evolutions in a relationship. Or one that should be improving.... I agree. I read the pros and thought.....eh, nothing exceptional here. Break up. Didn't have to hesitate with this one.
Author Rafaela Posted November 7, 2013 Author Posted November 7, 2013 Thank you all for your support. i actually i sent him a text letting him know that i don't deserve to be mistreated and i will end it right before it gets worse. and guess what he didn't even reply. even i seen him online on whatsapp many times after text. it's hurtful but i am glad he showed his true colors in early stages 2
JamesM Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 I guess you made your decision. And I am guessing that you already knew what you wanted to do but wanted confirmation of your thoughts. To me the fact that you started this thread meant that yes, you should break up. Someone who wants to keep dating doesn't start a thread asking if he or she should break up.
Phantom888 Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 You know your answer. At 4 months he should be charming and completely into you. Those "bad" traits are really bad.... and shouldn't show up during your honeymoon phase! He doesn't care about you at all. I mean, he treats strangers better than he treats you, I'm sure.
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