Ex is acting differently towards me all of a sudden

[Anethen]

I'm not sure how many of you know my situation, but long story short...

 

My ex broke up with me near the end of August. We dated for 2.5 years, everything was perfect. We hardly ever fought and had great chemistry. We were best friends. He started acting a little distant for about 3 days and then broke it off with me saying that he needed to figure out where he stands in life and that he felt like something was missing. FYI, this is our senior year of college and were together since second semester freshman year.

 

I couldn't go NC because we are lab partners in a 3 hour lab that meets twice a week and we are in 2 other classes together. So, we are LC.

 

The first month following the break up, I gave him rides to class, we would walk together after class until it was time to part ways. Basically, we did what we always did when we were together as far as classes go. We never texted about anything besides class and we never hung out outside of class either. During this first month I really wanted him back.

 

Well, about a month into BC he started hanging out with another girl and the closer they got the more distant we got, naturally. He started becoming more cold during lab, we didn't talk except for when it was absolutely necessary. I didn't give him rides anymore, she did. We didn't walk after class anymore either. These are all things that I expected to happen at one point, he was moving on.

 

Well, now he has been acting different for the past week. When were texting Sunday about our exam coming up, he wasn't as short as usual and we even threw a few personal things in here and there. He texted me before our exam yesterday and after the exam he waited for me and we walked together until I got to my car. He has been more talkative to me in lab lately too. Today, we were super talkative and were joking around like old times. It felt like we were together again. After lab, we went our separate ways.

 

I guess I'm just confused as to why the sudden change in attitude towards me this past week or so? I'm not really reading into it or anything, I know it's not a sign. But, I'm curious as to what you guys think? I think everything is okay with him and the girl because she has been giving him rides to and from class and she even helped him write a paper the other day. I just don't understand what's going on.

 

Sorry this is so long! I'm just confused...

[johndo]

He wanted to move on and kept you there for emotional support and a security blanket. Now that he has a new friend he got what he wants. Just go COMPLETELY NC and you will beat him at his own game. Stop thinking on why he is doing things and try (i know it's easier said than done) to put all that energy on something good for you and only you.

[Mariposa10]

If things are not serious with the other girl, he might want to be fwb with you? Who knows, there are a million reasons. Maybe he was just bored. Maybe he just wanted to feel good about himself.

 

Anyway, you need to stop talking to him, seriously. You made the transition too easy for him. You need to heal and move on. This guy doesn't seem to want to be tied down to anybody just yet, which I understand you guys are young.

 

You should be the one talking less. You should be the one asking for space, who does he think he is by popping up in your life whenever he feels like it?

 

You need to be more proactive about this situation. He only cares about his well-being, worry about YOUR well-being.

 

Why are you making things so easy for him, which prevent you from truly move on. You'll never be able to be/like another guy if he keeps breathing down your neck.

[Anethen]

He wanted to move on and kept you there for emotional support and a security blanket. Now that he has a new friend he got what he wants. Just go COMPLETELY NC and you will beat him at his own game. Stop thinking on why he is doing things and try (i know it's easier said than done) to put all that energy on something good for you and only you.

 

I understand why he kept me there at the beginning. Once the new girl and him got closer, we got more distant I expected this to happen.

 

What I'm asking is why is he more talkative to me in class all of a sudden when him and the new girl are still on?

 

I can't go completely no contact, I have to see him in the lab for 6 hours a week we are lab partners. We are in LC

[Anethen]

If things are not serious with the other girl, he might want to be fwb with you? Who knows, there are a million reasons. Maybe he was just bored. Maybe he just wanted to feel good about himself.

 

Anyway, you need to stop talking to him, seriously. You made the transition too easy for him. You need to heal and move on. This guy doesn't seem to want to be tied down to anybody just yet, which I understand you guys are young.

 

You should be the one talking less. You should be the one asking for space, who does he think he is by popping up in your life whenever he feels like it?

 

You need to be more proactive about this situation. He only cares about his well-being, worry about YOUR well-being.

 

Why are you making things so easy for him, which prevent you from truly move on. You'll never be able to be/like another guy if he keeps breathing down your neck.

 

He isn't just popping into my life. We HAVE to see each other no matter what for 6 hours a week.

 

We DON'T hang out or talk outside of class.

 

What I'm asking is why is he being more talkative in lab and why are his texts about class/lab not as cold/distant as it has been since he has been dating someone else.

 

There's nothing I can do about seeing him, I have no choice. I can either be a bitch in front of the whole lab or just talk to him when we talks to me. I prefer to do the latter I'm not a bitter ex.

[Mariposa10]

He isn't just popping into my life. We HAVE to see each other no matter what for 6 hours a week.

 

We DON'T hang out or talk outside of class.

 

What I'm asking is why is he being more talkative in lab and why are his texts about class/lab not as cold/distant as it has been since he has been dating someone else.

 

There's nothing I can do about seeing him, I have no choice. I can either be a bitch in front of the whole lab or just talk to him when we talks to me. I prefer to do the latter I'm not a bitter ex.

 

There's NO way we can know why he's acting the way he's acting. We can come up with a million reasons.

 

Now, what I don't get is why you still text with him, there's a big difference between keeping in touch and just being a regular classmate.

 

I don't understand why you keep doing what you're doing which is obviously preventing you from TRULY moving on, otherwise you wouldn't be trying to decypher every action.

 

Do yourself a favor and don't keep in touch with him, there's no need for you to keep texting each other. And that has nothing to do with being a "bitter ex."

[xUnknown]

Personally, I feel like he realizes you are gone and is trying to keep you around. He's seeing this new girl, so you two cut things off. He realized that he missed you more than he though he would, so to ease his pain of getting over you, he's trying to be more friendly to you. I agree with the NC, or LC as you said..but make it clear to him, "I'm moving on. I will not speak or contact you outside of class/lab." Short and to the point. You're easing the pain he is feeling, which isn't right. Again, that is what I truly believe.

 

Source: I'm a guy, I've done this before with girls. (not my ex, but others before her I was "seeing")

[Canadiangirl78]

I think it's possible that he sees that you are okay and can maybe see that a friendship with you is what he wants. I think you have shown a lot of strength in your character to not freak out and make a scene about him being with someone else. Maybe he wants to be friends with you. I think you have handled yourself and this situation with great poise and should be extremely proud of yourself. At this point the only reason to not talk to him is if you are secretly wishing you will get back together, then I would say it might be in your best interest to back away as much as you can. But, to me it sounds like you are handling this situation just fine. It takes a great amount of maturity in your part to not make this situation harder then it needs to which you have done. Hats off to you!

[Anethen]

There's NO way we can know why he's acting the way he's acting. We can come up with a million reasons.

 

Now, what I don't get is why you still text with him, there's a big difference between keeping in touch and just being a regular classmate.

 

I don't understand why you keep doing what you're doing which is obviously preventing you from TRULY moving on, otherwise you wouldn't be trying to decypher every action.

 

Do yourself a favor and don't keep in touch with him, there's no need for you to keep texting each other. And that has nothing to do with being a "bitter ex."

 

As I said, we text about class I don't keep in touch with him.

 

We only text when we have questions about a particular lab or hw assignment or exam, we don't have random conversations.

 

We text 1-3 time per week, depending on what is going on with our classes/lab that week.

[Anethen]

I think it's possible that he sees that you are okay and can maybe see that a friendship with you is what he wants. I think you have shown a lot of strength in your character to not freak out and make a scene about him being with someone else. Maybe he wants to be friends with you. I think you have handled yourself and this situation with great poise and should be extremely proud of yourself. At this point the only reason to not talk to him is if you are secretly wishing you will get back together, then I would say it might be in your best interest to back away as much as you can. But, to me it sounds like you are handling this situation just fine. It takes a great amount of maturity in your part to not make this situation harder then it needs to which you have done. Hats off to you!

 

Why, thank you!

 

I'm just trying to be as mature and civil as possible. I'm not bitter by any means. He didn't mean to hurt me, the BU is what he felt like he needed. If he wasn't feeling the same anymore, I wouldn't want him to be with me and drag things out. Things happen, people have a change in feelings. I'm not going to hold that against him.

 

If he's being nice to me, then I'll be nice back. I'm stuck with him until May no matter what, so I can either be crappy and cold or I can reciprocate his friendliness towards me.

[Canadiangirl78]

Don't thank me! You should take all the credit for looking at the situation so positively and acting like the lady you are! And hey, if a friendship with your ex comes out of this, then you can't really ask for much more then that right!!