mel901 Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 I'm 23 and have easily fallen into relationships since I was 16. The last time I was actually dating was over three years ago, but now I'm in the "real world" after college and don't know how to handle it! I went on the best date I could imagine with a guy I met at my crossfit gym a few weeks ago. I walked into it not sure I was interested, but left thinking that he was the most interesting person I'd ever talked to and couldn't wait to see him again. I was impressed that he didn't try to come home with me and even more impressed that he came over after I had been drinking the next night and again didn't try anything but kissing me. The next day he invited me over for dinner but I stuck to my normal Sunday night routine and just went over to his place to watch a baseball game. He contacted me via text every day and last Friday invited me to happy hour, where we spent four hours and then went to another event with friends. He made a point to pay for my dinner and drinks, held my hand and kissed me all over town, and then assured me it was okay and told me he wouldn't be pushy when I told him I wasn't ready to have sex. Since then, he's still contacted me every day but it almost seems like he's obligated. I called him on Sunday night and asked him to come over, but he said he was planning on going to bed early (totally understandable) and would see me before he left town today. Again, he's contacted me every day but yesterday it seemed a bit forced after a few messages. Feeling frustrated, I sent him a message saying that if he wasn't feeling it, it would be fine to let it die. He responded with a "whoa, where did that come from?". Then last night he asked me to come over and help him pack but backed out saying he had an early call for work and just planned on going to bed. I'm confused. Is he interested or not? Is it just a crazy work week? Is this all part of "the game"? Help!
Philosoraptor Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 You seem to be overthinking things. He seems genuinely interested in you but your insecurity had you send an off the wall message about him not being interested. Just take a step back here mentally and enjoy what is going on. The more you overthink this the greater your chances of sabatoging this budding romance. I read a guy who is interested in getting to know you, enough that he's not playing games and instead talking with you every day and expressing that interest. He's not forcing you into anything and he's willing to go at your pace. I mean really... what more could you ask for than someone who seems genuinely interested in getting to know you and patient enough to go at your pace? 3
d0nnivain Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 Everything was fine until you started telling him that he wasn't feeling it. Other than your own assumptions, I didn't see anything forced or obligatory about his behavior. Back off. Assume the best (but prepare for the worst). Send him a flirty message telling him to have nice business trip & that you hope to see him when he returns, then back off. Let him take care of business & see if he contacts you while he's away.
scorpiogirl Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 I agree, nothing in what you wrote was "off" until your text message to him. From what you say, this guy is doing everything right. But you just might ruin it by putting your perception onto things. STOP TEXTING! I cannot say this enough. It sounds like you misconstrued something in his tone. Pick up the damn telephone and talk. You don't have to be on the phone for hours every day. People here say Facebook ruins relationships. I'll have to add texting to that. I think many a text have ruined a potential good thing because it's written one way and perceived in another.
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