Cream Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 (edited) my emotions are running wild since my ex ended it with us. i'm so confused that after having a 6 month relationship, she suddenly loses love and ends it. i mean, she lead me on, making plans to start a family, get married, all of it. we were both emotionally invested & committed. she goes on to say, she want's me to find someone else to do it all with..that i shouldn't make the same mistakes i did with her. that i didn't give my all during the relationship, but i can't give my all when i'm broken, and not feeling pushed away. it just sucks that after all the bonding and love she gave me, she has no emotional attachment towards us anymore. she doesn't want to even give me another shot because a stupid reason, that i "slacked off." she doesn't want to see if it could work out with us. no loyalty with her. no heart. no faith. Edited November 6, 2013 by Cream
Philosoraptor Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 You need to learn to accept that she has made a choice for herself, one that you have to live with. Her reasons, whether she is being honest with them or not, are her reasons and she had every right to end the relationship for any reason she wanted. Let go of the resentment, she's not worth throwing your entire world into a spiral. If you don't feel that she has any loyalty why in the world would you want to get back with her? You see her flaws, and she dropped you for what you feel is a stupid reason. Just means the two of you were not compatible and you need to heal up so you can move on and find someone you are compatible with. 3
Author Cream Posted November 6, 2013 Author Posted November 6, 2013 You need to learn to accept that she has made a choice for herself, one that you have to live with. Her reasons, whether she is being honest with them or not, are her reasons and she had every right to end the relationship for any reason she wanted. Let go of the resentment, she's not worth throwing your entire world into a spiral. If you don't feel that she has any loyalty why in the world would you want to get back with her? You see her flaws, and she dropped you for what you feel is a stupid reason. Just means the two of you were not compatible and you need to heal up so you can move on and find someone you are compatible with. the reason why i still want to get back with her is because i finally found someone who i could connect with on so many levels. we have a lot in common and i could see myself ending up with her. she felt the same way, telling me that i am "a breath of fresh air. no one has ever swept me off my feet before the way you did. i hope to spend the rest of my life with you." when she broke up she said.. "i wanted you to be the one, but it saddens me it's not working out." we had a rough patch, an adjustment period, and she wanted to end it before we overcame anything, thats where her loyalty fails.
Philosoraptor Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 the reason why i still want to get back with her is because i finally found someone who i could connect with on so many levels. we have a lot in common and i could see myself ending up with her. she felt the same way, telling me that i am "a breath of fresh air. no one has ever swept me off my feet before the way you did. i hope to spend the rest of my life with you." when she broke up she said.. "i wanted you to be the one, but it saddens me it's not working out." we had a rough patch, an adjustment period, and she wanted to end it before we overcame anything. So they honeymoon period ended and she decided she didn't want to be with you anymore. That was her choice. Hopefully once you heal up and find someone better suited for you they won't bail at the first sign of an issue. 1
Author Cream Posted November 6, 2013 Author Posted November 6, 2013 So they honeymoon period ended and she decided she didn't want to be with you anymore. That was her choice. Hopefully once you heal up and find someone better suited for you they won't bail at the first sign of an issue. i know. thats why i'm so angry, because i'm stuck on her, and not wanting to find someone else. its like i just can't turn off my love for her the way she did me.
organizedchaos Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 the reason why i still want to get back with her is because i finally found someone who i could connect with on so many levels. we have a lot in common and i could see myself ending up with her. she felt the same way, telling me that i am "a breath of fresh air. no one has ever swept me off my feet before the way you did. i hope to spend the rest of my life with you." when she broke up she said.. "i wanted you to be the one, but it saddens me it's not working out." we had a rough patch, an adjustment period, and she wanted to end it before we overcame anything, thats where her loyalty fails. All this within a 6 month relationship? Sounds like things were moving way too fast for her, she realized that, and ended it. 4
Author Cream Posted November 6, 2013 Author Posted November 6, 2013 All this within a 6 month relationship? Sounds like things were moving way too fast for her, she realized that, and ended it. it was quite the opposite. things were moving way too fast for me. she's the one who wanted to get with me, wanted to get married, have kids and buy a house. she came on way strong.
aaron11892 Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 My ex left me exactly the same way. Your story sounds so much like mine. She told me I was the one, she wanted kids, family etc then all of a sudden she loses interest and then ends it. Was she young? My ex was 18 so I can only assume it's GIGS or she met someone else. Did you start becoming too involved and becoming less of a challenge to her? I think this is what I did and she started losing interest. I don't think I'll ever know the real reason for her leaving. The honeymoon period ends and she calls it quits. She probably thinks that feeling lasts forever and when it ends she'll find someone else and when that period ends again she will repeat the cycle. These girls do not know what true love is all about. Arguments and bound to happen but working on them is what being a couple is about. She quit easy and will only continue to find disappointment in her life if she feels a relationship should always be in the honeymoon stage. There is nothing you can do or say to change her mind. I tried but came out with nothing. Go no contact. This girl needs time to think things through and when she realizes what she threw away, she may or may not come back to you. Like I said there is nothing you can do now but to go no contact and heal yourself. 1
Fufu Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 the reason why i still want to get back with her is because i finally found someone who i could connect with on so many levels. we have a lot in common and i could see myself ending up with her. she felt the same way, telling me that i am "a breath of fresh air. no one has ever swept me off my feet before the way you did. i hope to spend the rest of my life with you." when she broke up she said.. "i wanted you to be the one, but it saddens me it's not working out." we had a rough patch, an adjustment period, and she wanted to end it before we overcame anything, thats where her loyalty fails. Relationship needs 2 persons to work. And she has clearly chosen the path to leave. Words are easier said that done. 1
Chi townD Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 Anger & Resentment building up. NC isn't working. This is the title of your thread. The fact that you have anger and resentment tells me that NC IS working. Dude, when you are in NC (a TRUE NC) you go through a whole gambit of emotions. That's just part of the healing process. You go through the shock, then the sadness and depression. Then, the anger and self reflection (wondering what you did wrong). Then, sadness and missing what you once had. Until, FINALLY, you get to a point of indifference. No one said NC was going to be a walk in the park. It sucks. But, It's your best chance of healing from this quickly along with positive changes and moving on with your life. Hang in there dude. I promise! It gets easier. 2
MoooOinkBaaa Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 She was clearly only in it for herself and got rid of you when you no longer had value to her (you slacked off). What a joke excuse. The only reason I can see is if you wasn't your true self during the first five months. Did you try to hard to impress her?
reddragon588 Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 NCisnt working? What is your goal in NC? To heal immediately? NC isn't going to immediately change your fortunes, it's a process. A long process. But still better than the opposite. 1
Canadiangirl78 Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 I'm sorry you're hurting so badly. We are all going through a rough time, that's why we are all here. Searching, hoping to find some sort of peace with what has happened. If it's any consolation, and I know it's probably not, at least the relationship was only six months. Be thankful you aren't like many of us others here who have been married for 10,15, 20 years or more or people that have children with the people that have walked away. At least only 6 months of your life was given to this relationship. Be strong, hold your head high and know that one day this will all make sense. You need to look forward and know that day will come when a woman walks into your life and you will look back on this time in your life and be thankful this happened for if it hadn't you would not have been available for the one you are supposed to be with. Come here often, vent whenever you need to, people on here are so amazing and we all have some wonderful insight to share. Chin up, and keep looking forward to a beautiful life, you deserve it, we all do. Take care of yourself because nobody else will..
organizedchaos Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 it was quite the opposite. things were moving way too fast for me. she's the one who wanted to get with me, wanted to get married, have kids and buy a house. she came on way strong. Yes, and perhaps she came to her senses.
Author Cream Posted November 6, 2013 Author Posted November 6, 2013 My ex left me exactly the same way. Your story sounds so much like mine. She told me I was the one, she wanted kids, family etc then all of a sudden she loses interest and then ends it. Was she young? My ex was 18 so I can only assume it's GIGS or she met someone else. Did you start becoming too involved and becoming less of a challenge to her? I think this is what I did and she started losing interest. I don't think I'll ever know the real reason for her leaving. The honeymoon period ends and she calls it quits. She probably thinks that feeling lasts forever and when it ends she'll find someone else and when that period ends again she will repeat the cycle. These girls do not know what true love is all about. Arguments and bound to happen but working on them is what being a couple is about. She quit easy and will only continue to find disappointment in her life if she feels a relationship should always be in the honeymoon stage. There is nothing you can do or say to change her mind. I tried but came out with nothing. Go no contact. This girl needs time to think things through and when she realizes what she threw away, she may or may not come back to you. Like I said there is nothing you can do now but to go no contact and heal yourself. she's 27 years old. i would think maybe its gigs, because she kept saying she wants to be with a guy who do this or that. i became distant when she started bombarding me, i would shut down and not want to deal with her. she wanted me to step it up, so i did, but every little minor thing i did wrong ticked her off. one step forward, two steps back.
ponchsox Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 I broke NC, contacted my ex, and blew my stack. Do yourself a favor and move on. I felt like I had wasted a year and a half of my life for nothing. You have to forgive before you can lose the anger and move on.
Author Cream Posted November 6, 2013 Author Posted November 6, 2013 She was clearly only in it for herself and got rid of you when you no longer had value to her (you slacked off). What a joke excuse. The only reason I can see is if you wasn't your true self during the first five months. Did you try to hard to impress her? i was being honest and true. she knew everything about me. but wanted me to change a few things. i think she had high expectations, and looking for instant gratification.. like things are suppose to meet her standards asap.
ponchsox Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 the reason why i still want to get back with her is because i finally found someone who i could connect with on so many levels. we have a lot in common and i could see myself ending up with her. she felt the same way, telling me that i am "a breath of fresh air. no one has ever swept me off my feet before the way you did. i hope to spend the rest of my life with you." when she broke up she said.. "i wanted you to be the one, but it saddens me it's not working out." we had a rough patch, an adjustment period, and she wanted to end it before we overcame anything, thats where her loyalty fails. I am in the exact situation you are. I finally found someone that I had an amazing connection with and just loved being with her at all times. Something came up in her life that she felt she had to end our relationship. I was fuming that she would give up on something so easy. It turns out, we are being selfish in our own right. If she wants to go, you have to let her. 1
Haydn Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 Cream, at some point every day i get angry and resentful and ive been NC for quite a while now. Sometimes it gets harder than easier. She didnt want me in her life anymore i have to learn to accept. Getting there. You will too. At least she was honest with you. You had some closure. Most get none. Take care
Author Cream Posted November 6, 2013 Author Posted November 6, 2013 you know something funny, when i'm in the car with her and a song comes up, first she's like "omg i love this song." then midway she says "over it" and skips to the next song. now thats a red flag right there. 2
mtnbiker3000 Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 it was quite the opposite. things were moving way too fast for me. she's the one who wanted to get with me, wanted to get married, have kids and buy a house. she came on way strong. Blah! My ex did this too. We moved so fast at the beginning. Mostly because of her, but I wasn't complaining, so my bad too. I now realize that my ex (and maybe yours too) is almost addicted to the butterflies and excitement of the Honeymoon Stage. Once that fades, they have a real hard time staying put, but rather start to look for it again. Honestly, it's probably nothing you did or didn't do. This was all her. The only thing you can / should do is learn from this and watch for similar warning signs in the future. That's my plan too 3
penultimatethrow Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 Blah! My ex did this too. We moved so fast at the beginning. Mostly because of her, but I wasn't complaining, so my bad too. I now realize that my ex (and maybe yours too) is almost addicted to the butterflies and excitement of the Honeymoon Stage. Once that fades, they have a real hard time staying put, but rather start to look for it again. Honestly, it's probably nothing you did or didn't do. This was all her. The only thing you can / should do is learn from this and watch for similar warning signs in the future. That's my plan too Yes, this! Obviously I cannot speak for her, only she could really answer, but I think that once the honeymoon faded and things got 'tough' she didn't want to put the work in to get to anything sustainable. Much easier to cop out and go find a new honeymoon, right? Sadly I think it's true for my situation and probably many others. But it makes for good fuel for maintaining NC and realising how much better off I am without her. 1
MoooOinkBaaa Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 this is the problem people think relationships should be like what they see in movies and on tv. you have to get real and accept the truth. people are just moving between relationships these days without even falling in love first, what happened to falling in love THEN having a relationship.
mtnbiker3000 Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 people are just moving between relationships these days without even falling in love first, what happened to falling in love THEN having a relationship. How would that work? How could you truly fall in love with someone without knowing them from being in a RS? Would it really be love?
Author Cream Posted November 7, 2013 Author Posted November 7, 2013 this is the problem people think relationships should be like what they see in movies and on tv. you have to get real and accept the truth. people are just moving between relationships these days without even falling in love first, what happened to falling in love THEN having a relationship. actually we were friends first, then had crushes on each other. i told her i loved her and she felt the same way, we started our relationship shortly after. she told me this "ppl don't fall in love, they grow in love. because falling hurts."
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