lovesimplexity Posted December 16, 2004 Posted December 16, 2004 Now that I got your attention, I actually have a cross-cultural dating dilemma that I'd very much love to hear your ideas on!... Please read~: Do you find East-Asian (like Chinese) women Attractive? Would you date one? Let's say, they speak English fluently and are Not cliquish with the asian crowd like some, (though let's say they may or may not, in terms of cultural brought-up and thinking, be strongly americanized, or just moderately, or not really at all. ) How strong is the 'cultural preference' nowadays on cross-cultural dating? I know a few caucasian men who simply just have asian fetish (dated no one else but asian), and how sometime ago I heard from a talk or comedian saying how the media portrays asian women to be mostly a sex object, not to be taken for a serious relationship, like Sarah Ho in the movie 'Sideways', or Lucy Liu playing the character in whats-the-name of the tvshow, who is always angry, or being treaded upon, and exhales a long stream of fire as she gets irritated? Anyways, so do you think if you can truly, really, very much, be attracted to one? Or really just someone that look so much different from you? Remember the saying how you can only be attracted to someone that looks like you? (I'm saying more like figuratively, like a married friend of mine, she's white/caucasian, and his husband is indian, but they have very similar face structure, like shape of jaw, size of nose, and place of cheekbone etc.) I must say, I've been attracted to quite a few causcasian, quite a true attraction I think, (and it may be easier for me, to truly like caucasian, as I've lived most of my life in a city--Hong Kong-- that greatly equates western culture as signs of power (cos years ago the western people, the british, were the rich and powerful, and i guess also easily, people also equates that to idealizing western beauty, from the media, like in many movies and tv shows, you always see western people as portrayed as the beautiful ones, even now, it's still a trend for women to use cosmetic products to make your skin looks fairer.) But , so, that's why I'm not so sure if it's possible that those caucasians that I really like can also feel the same attraction to me, or if it can be just another asian fetish, or curiosity for the oriental image... Is it a much lower chance of recruited love? :love:
Juntao Posted December 16, 2004 Posted December 16, 2004 i thought this topis was pretty much pointless, there are obviously many white guys that find asian women attractive. Although it still varies with the person, but generally yes. lemme ask u a questions, whats wrong with asian men u dont like and have to go date white ppl? happens a lot with asian women.
havNfun Posted December 16, 2004 Posted December 16, 2004 well asian women are often tighter and guys tend to enjoy that.
Author lovesimplexity Posted December 16, 2004 Author Posted December 16, 2004 Juntao, well I like Asian men too of course, in fact, i really would love to meet one, especially sharing more cultural background can make point of understanding more easily share (well, i guess it also depends...) But living in America, when caucasian are everywhere you see, the chance of meeting the right asian one, is just that much smaller...
Author lovesimplexity Posted December 16, 2004 Author Posted December 16, 2004 And, I think you might have missed my question, I know of course a lot of white men find asian women Attractive, but, in terms of having a long term relationship with one, how many would want to commit? It may be easy to say they want to and it may fun to date one, but will they really marry one? Cos I'm thinking of the many differences, like cultural background, family and friends approval and disapproval, etcetc..
Author lovesimplexity Posted December 16, 2004 Author Posted December 16, 2004 Like cultural differences can cause the the two to share less commonality and point of views, .... can it be leading to less things to talk about and more quarrel with? And especially family traditions and influences...(of course, most of us may not care what our parents think and just do what we want, but if say you're brought up to believe in a sort of traditional values of your own culture, that may include who to marry and stuff, you may in the end be influenced to think that even how good your present cross-cultural relationship may be, you may still think perhaps a relationship with someone of your culture may be better, and that you may be better off, in the end, marrying that one? And it may work bothways too, this attitude from cultural brought up and tradition, for caucasian to asian, or vice versa. Actually I know my part, as an asian, sometimes i fear some of these relationship with caucasian may not be long term in the end, especially how some friends ask me am i really sure? (referring to an european guy) "that you guys don't even share the native language! You sure it can last? " I guess that may not be the only reason, personally I feel comfortable with it, but my friends may be right, I can't yet imagine how it will be-- in long term... and also to my question earlier, how caucasian see these cultural differences problem as well?
alphamale Posted December 16, 2004 Posted December 16, 2004 Originally posted by lovesimplexity And, I think you might have missed my question, I know of course a lot of white men find asian women Attractive, but, in terms of having a long term relationship with one, how many would want to commit? It may be easy to say they want to and it may fun to date one, but will they really marry one? Cos I'm thinking of the many differences, like cultural background, family and friends approval and disapproval, etcetc.. Being of asian-indian background myself I personally know many asian-indian women that are married to "white" dudes.
tattoomytoe Posted December 16, 2004 Posted December 16, 2004 this posts reaks of bias and stereotypical racism to me. who cares what culture the person is from as long as they both love each other...... there will always be some sort of differences between personal beliefs, but compromisation is the key.
Author lovesimplexity Posted December 16, 2004 Author Posted December 16, 2004 I'm not a racist, but I'm just being realistic here, cos cultural difference may be more innate than just physical appearance, and even people say they don't have a problem with it, there may be other problems that can arise. And that's why it's good to hear you guys' input. Growing up in such a traditional family that is to a certain degree kinda racist, luckily my parents is already less so, but my grandparents who lives with us, and other relatives, always say racists comments on certain cultures... So it is good to hear from more people, like you, who from your experience can tell me the world has evolved to much open and cultural friendly... ... but as i said that... the iraq war and others' image just creeps up to my head... hmmm
Juntao Posted December 17, 2004 Posted December 17, 2004 in terms of having a long term relationship with one, how many would want to commit? im not whire guy but i can try give u my opinion, i honestly think that it varies with certain people. some might want to seriously commit and some dunno. It depends on the peson and jsut gotta look for the white one.
ConfusedInOC Posted December 17, 2004 Posted December 17, 2004 Dated a Vietnamese Eye Doctor that was absolutely gorgeous. Too bad her folks didn't like "white" guys or we probably would have gotten married.
shadis Posted December 17, 2004 Posted December 17, 2004 I have been attracted to Asian women before. If I managed to find an Asian woman who did not place so much emphasis on money in my area I would think to maybe date one.
Author lovesimplexity Posted December 19, 2004 Author Posted December 19, 2004 Dated a Vietnamese Eye Doctor that was absolutely gorgeous. Too bad her folks didn't like "white" guys or we probably would have gotten married. ConfusedinOC, yea, so this is exactly the situation that I afraid of... Cos I have quite a few friends (chinese) 's parents who would disapprove that. Like this older friend of mine's husband, when their son dated a white girl, the husband wouldn't even talk to his son's gf, and would even just pull the mom- my friend- away to watch tv or do something without the son's gf... And me... looking at the guy i'm interested in, in his family picture from his graduation, i saw a very typical caucasian/european family, mom, dad, sister and him, I can't help but wonder if they'd accept such thing... (it's like a stronger question mark i feel than i look at one whose family heritage/culture/appearance look just like me, you know?) (of course I too dated a white guy who's parents really welcomed me, but this guy turned out to have some sorta asian fetish, only dated asian ... so it's kinda an exception... so that's why I'm just wondering...) I have been attracted to Asian women before. If I managed to find an Asian woman who did not place so much emphasis on money in my area I would think to maybe date one. Shadis, I'm not that aware that we asian women are so concerned with money, what area are you in?!... well... hopefully you meet one that isn't like that soon! :]
Recommended Posts