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Had an interesting dream


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Posted

BU was 10 months ago and I still think about her constantly. There's no metaphor better than an open wound, that's exactly how it feels. If she's mentioned, I fall apart on the inside. I dream about her a lot, and I just woke from a particularly jarring one. No idea what time it is, but I know I'll have trouble falling back asleep, so I might as well get a few words out.

 

She used to be my landlord, and in my dream, I was back in that place and trying to move some things out quickly so I wouldn't have to see her. It took hours to pack my small backpack and it seemed I was stuck there, unable to get out. She opened the door and came out, along with her shirtless boyfriend, who was tall and handsome. She came over to me and gave me a hug, and said something nice but still out of character for her. Somehow, I was goaded into going along with them on an errand, which was heartwrenching. She was also engaged and pregnant. But the strange thing was, even though my brain managed to construct a very vivid portrayal of a person (she wasn't a dream-like wisp), she was absolutely nothing like my ex-girlfriend. Much more bold, energetic, even her voice was very different. Different personality. I even noticed it in the dream and asked myself why I yearn so much for this person, who is nothing like how I remember.

 

I awoke feeling drained, but determined to make some sense of this. She probably is a different person by now, changed by the relationship with the new man she's with. While I'm unchanged as far as I can tell, alone, and more hurt still than she'll ever know. My two main issues are the idea that she's with someone else (picturing them together makes me shiver) and that I somehow missed the boat, that I'm old now and I'll never find someone better. Even though she broke it up without trying to fix it, and I always knew deep down that while I loved her, she wasn't the one.

 

Back to sleep, maybe this time I'll get candy and unicorns.

Posted

It was a dream, nothing to make sense of. It wasn't real and it doesn't represent anything that has happened, just a story put together by your mind. Don't think about it, don't worry about it, and just enjoy your day.

Posted

Well, I'm not qualified to interpret the dram but I think you make it pretty clear yourself when you say she's with someone else and you feel you missed the boat.

 

I think it's just a recreation of your general feelings, almost literally. You are stuck on her (at her place), trying to pack a little bag (you always felt she wasn't the one so you knew it would end so you only have a small bag, if that makes sense? Like it's not like you're packing up a house but if you knew it would end well you only have a "phase" to pack, like a small sojourn hence the little bag), she's with someone else and acting out of character (maybe because 'her' away from you, with someone else, in a new life seems kind of inconceivable to you, perhaps you still see her so much in terms of yourself so even if she isn't a different person it seems bizarre).

 

That has to be the most accommodated statement I ever made ha, but I think the most important thing is to get the idea out of your mind that you are too old to find anybody.That is nonsense, any age is ripe for finding a companion but you have to stop comparing her life to your life now. Whether hers is as good as it seems or not, it doesn't matter because your paths are over together.

I'm sure there is a woman out there right now, sighing, and wondering where a guy like you is at.

Posted

I have to agree with raptor, no different then fantasizing about something when you're awake. It wasn't some message. I had a good bit of dreams about my ex as well.

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