yorkie Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 just wondering has anyone got any storys about gigs and them coming back? 12 and a half years two kids and decent house and she left been 2 and a half months roughly, recently we had a talk and she is confused doesnt know anything except she doesnt want to be in a relationship with me yet she is sorry and cried alot when we last spoke, im confused! im now doing LC as i need to speak with her regarding the kids but she also asked me if me and her and my two kids could go for christmas dinner somewhere. i said no its her time with them i will have them new year. do i just pretend everything is fine or stay LC
aaron11892 Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 Well since kids are involved, no contact is virtually impossible. Stay LC and talk to her as if she is a work colleague. Just keep things professional and don't ever talk about the relationship. Focus on your kids.
emi Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 Cut her out, i cant bare the fact that someone who is a mother of two kids with a husband can jump dump them and go try new experience. Cmon, where is the sense of responsiblity? And seriously, you would love to have her back? And DONT WAIT, i bet she will crawl back, but dont take her back. She will do it again
Author yorkie Posted November 6, 2013 Author Posted November 6, 2013 tbh yeah im gutted and still struggling, but i do love her even though i hate her to, but tbh i am getting stronger and i am slowly moving on and im also starting to get feelings for someone else but im not rushing anything my head is a shed at the moment
hurts2death Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 "and decent house" maybe you misunderstood love. as it goes fore her comming back., to win this is to lose it first... dont care and go nc as long as you can... stay calm//
headinthecloud Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 You built a life together but something has happened to her and she's come to realize that she's unhappy. Believe it or not, GIGS has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her unhappiness. We are responsible for our own happiness, no one else's. (much easier said than done) Your happiness and providing a healthy and safe environment for your kids are all that matter at the moment. She may need counselling to help her understand her actions. I would keep LC and focus on your healing. If she says she doesn't want a relationship then you need to be clear with her, your needs now come first. She lost the right to have a say in your life when she ended your relationship (although kids are impacted by your decisions so try to be private and discrete about your relationship issues). Counselling for the entire family might be a good option.
Author yorkie Posted November 6, 2013 Author Posted November 6, 2013 well alot of people have said gigs and i have read the gigs thread. but thanks for the advice anyway, and yes im trying to provide a stable home for the kids but, its hard. when we last chatted she doesnt know what she wants and tbh when she started crying i knew there were feelings there. but like everyone has said i need to move on i cant sit and wait for her to come back and also i dont want to she has made me feel guilty ever since she left about her situation and end of the day the choice was hers. yes it over i know that but i will get a sense of happiness when she actually or if she actually says it was a wrong decsion to leave me. everyone has said we were the perfect couple. her family and everyone is in shock!
lil hoodlum Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 Confused? LOL Find out who the other man is and clear up her confusion! She is not confused about what she is doing. She is confused about her feelings for you and someone else. Sorry to be harsh, I learned the hard way too! Never again will I be fooled, when someone is confused I will run away and never look back. You should too.
Author yorkie Posted November 6, 2013 Author Posted November 6, 2013 she said there is no one else, and also her dad said there isn't i do believe her when she says its no one else.
Author yorkie Posted November 6, 2013 Author Posted November 6, 2013 also due to her work commitments as she works nights she spend all her time at her parents as she lives there. when she isnt at work so unless she is seeing someone from her team and at work then im wrong also if she was she would of said as i have slept with someone since our break and i felt like i was pushed into it as everyone kept saying move on move on and tbh it set me back i didnt even enjoy it. she is very confused she has walked out thinking grass would be greener and tbhy i will get satisfaction when she admits it isnt!
Author yorkie Posted November 6, 2013 Author Posted November 6, 2013 tbh i am really struggling these last few days. i wish i could turn my feelings off but since she said she doesnt know why, it has confused me and also her gran thinks she will come back and i am struggling to move on as i am at home with the kids. i think im gonna write some poetry,
lil hoodlum Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 I'm not saying she has cheated as I don't know her or you but her thoughts and feelings are not there for you. Who are her thoughts and feelings for then? Make no mistake, she is not confused about what she is doing, she is removing you out of her life enough so that she is "free" to persue something/ someone else. As I said, find out who the other person is and remove the confusion for her.
Author yorkie Posted November 6, 2013 Author Posted November 6, 2013 i have asked her and she has said there is no one else and her dad has even said she isnt in a good way at all at the moment, he said just see how things pan out she is struggling to she has admitted this she said we have grown apart yet i still see feelings there. she has made me feel guilty for her walking out. tbh i have given her loads of oppotunities to tell me there is someone else i even said if there was i could understand it better but she said no. i cant read her mind lol. but one min she is acting like nothing has happened and trying to make things normal for the kids next she is slating me to her friends. i just dont know and i am finding it hard to move on.. by the way i can now receive pm's if anyone wants to give me advice personally. cheers though
lil hoodlum Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 I feel for you and the situation that you are in. I have been in your shoes before minus having kids part. She knows why what the "confusion" is about but is not being open and honest with you about it. It really sucks because it is a tool to keep you on a string. Something will happen sooner or later good or bad that will clear up her "confusion". I hope that you don't find yourself on the outside looking in. Again she is not confused about what she is doing. She knows exactly what she is doing. She is confused about her feelings for you and someone else. This song and dance of "confusion" is as old as time. It usually doesn't seem to work out for your benefit. I hope that you can find the stregnth for you and your kids. I hope this "confusion" comes to an amicable end for you and your children soon.
reddragon588 Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 Prepare for it to take forever and for her not to come back at all.
Author yorkie Posted November 6, 2013 Author Posted November 6, 2013 what i will say though is i think she is feeling guilty at leaving the kids with me i do know deep down at this moment there isnt anyone else but i do beleive she is open to offers especially as since we split i have slept with someone, and tbh she has the oppotuinity to say so, also even to hurt me, she has said an awful lot to hurt me and she even said when i have asked her in the past if there is someone else she said she isnt going to lie and say there is when there isnt!, she said she wished she could just say yes but she was honest and said there wasnt. i know she has nether cheated on me. i know personal reasons why she hasnt. but i do think i need to move on but how i dont know. has anyone else been in my situation living at home with the kids whilst the ex has gone?
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