greenfairie Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 Been together 4-5 years. Ended on really bad terms and the last time we saw/talked was in June, We were friendly but I'm angry with him for dating my old best friend and for lying to me about it while we were dating. Obviously I do love him since we've been thru a lot and had most of our firsts together but know we can't be together. What does it mean if the ex-boyfriend texts you a happy birthday? I ignored the text, I never sent a reply so I don't know what he would think of it.
Riou Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 Didn't you already have a thread on this? If you want him in your life,you can reply a simple thanks and see if he follow up with anything..
McMike Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 Just reply thank you and don't reply to further texts if he does reply. I just said reply a lot lol. 2
killershaft Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 well that depends again on whether your looking to get back with him... since the signs are so clear refrain from replying to him... cause he will just hurt you more if you reply back.... why would u wanna be with some mistrustful guy whose two timing you.... keep control of yourself... the future will brighten up as days pass...... good luck
headinthecloud Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 You're going through some terrible pain but please let him go. Do not contact him and do not reply to any of his texts. It's not necessary. You need to heal yourself from this relationship and rebuild your self esteem. Be strong, move forward and try not to think of him. You will, it's part if the process but please let it go. He no longer matters in your life, only you matter. Be the person you want to be with and stay true to you. 2
cavalier99 Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 DONT REPLY EVER. This text means nothing. Cav 2
KCCK Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 Breadcrumbs and just trying to be Mr Nice guy..that's all.. he dont want you.. if he wants you, he will come and beg and plead to you.. so please dont think too much and just ignore the text.. If you want to reply out of courtesy, just a SIMPLE thank you is sufficient...
d0nnivain Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 It means he wants you to have a happy birthday or at least something positive in your life after he hurt you. It doesn't mean anything else & it especially dosen't mean he wants to get back together.
Author greenfairie Posted November 6, 2013 Author Posted November 6, 2013 If you were together with someone for 5 years, grew up since you both were kids, lived together, went through a lot of firsts together and a lot more, how easy is it to ignore your ex? My ex doesn't even check up on me to see how I'm doing. How can he act so careless after all we've been through? We didn't cheat on each other or anything, we agreed to go on a break while remaining "friends" but really friends with benefit and that's when things started going more downhill for both of us until he just stopped responding. Care to share any advice for these demons I'm fighting right now?
Riou Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 You need to go no contact and heal if he's not responding.It is easy for him to ignore you because he doesn't see any value in you.It sounds cruel but exes become colder than strangers because they devalue you enough to justify their decisions are right.
skydiveaddict Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 My ex doesn't even check up on me to see how I'm doing. How can he act so careless after all we've been through? Because he doesn't care about you anymore. I'm not saying this to be insensitive. It happened to me as well.
Author greenfairie Posted November 6, 2013 Author Posted November 6, 2013 He broke up with you. It's brutal, but his responsibility to you ends with the break up. He's not obliged to check in on you. He didn't break up with me, I did. We kept being friends for months after that until we got into a fight about stupid ****. He would even tell me that he'd still love me or miss me. The last time he did that was in March. Then he met up with my best friend in May/June and asked her how I was doing and told her how I'm his soulmate, and he'd want to get back together with me after I finish college.
strive Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 He didn't break up with me, I did. We kept being friends for months after that until we got into a fight about stupid ****. He would even tell me that he'd still love me or miss me. The last time he did that was in March. Then he met up with my best friend in May/June and asked her how I was doing and told her how I'm his soulmate, and he'd want to get back together with me after I finish college. Then he went NC on you because he's trying to heal. Maybe it became too much for him and knows that you don't want to ever get back together with him that's why he's trying to heal and get over you. If that's the case, please respect him and give him space. 3
McMike Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 Yeah the dumpee usually wouldn't initiate first contact especially if it's a guy. I'm in the same boat as him. I told her if she wants to email me, she can, but don't expect a reply from me. I'm cutting off contact to get over her. 1
Fufu Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 You need to start to move on and don't think about him anymore.
Author greenfairie Posted November 6, 2013 Author Posted November 6, 2013 Then he went NC on you because he's trying to heal. Maybe it became too much for him and knows that you don't want to ever get back together with him that's why he's trying to heal and get over you. If that's the case, please respect him and give him space. He would text me sometimes though, often inviting me out to go on outings with friends. Even invited me to his girlfriend's birthday and his girlfriend happened to be my best childhood friend but we're no longer friends. She still goes around talking about me and my ex, how much she misses me and how she feels bad. I don't understand why she acts like she's suffering while she has who I love. She should be happy. He even texted me about a month ago, saying happy birthday. I'm confused on how he's trying to heal if he's still continuing to contact me.
strive Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 I read your other thread and it looks like they both felt really guilty. You're now in a role reversal from being a dumper to being a dumpee. In this case please go NC and heal yourself. While he doesn't intend to hurt you, you're still being stringed along by the hope you still keep inside you. It's cruel to say, but he's with her now and won;t be thinking of you all the time the way you want him to. You need to think of yourself and heal. 1
aybc123 Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 (edited) It isnt that he doesnt care, lots of similar stories on here. Its a combination of generally how people are when they dump someone (i know you dumped him initially but then things got flip turned upside down) which is a little bit cold aloof and guarded. combined with not wanting to fall out or carry on arguing or discussing it, some people just shut down and ignore things they dont want to deal with. Plus the fact he's in a relationship and probably feels conflicted about carrying on talking to you, thinking it a betrayal to his new gf. Go NC move on and re establish a much more low key, but much healthier and more balanced friendship in 6months-1year if you still want to by that point. Also, no he doesn't owe her anything, just like you dont owe your friends anything, you can one day decide, well, we fell out over something so im not going to talk to this person again, and that's ok too, but depending on the argument you had it's pretty extreme/bizarre attitude. Without terminal offence being given about something id have a hard time not giving a crap about someone i'd just been decent friends with for 5 years let alone in a relationship with for that long. Edited November 6, 2013 by aybc123 1
ponchsox Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 I could care less if me ex hates me or not. 1
Author greenfairie Posted November 7, 2013 Author Posted November 7, 2013 It isnt that he doesnt care, lots of similar stories on here. Its a combination of generally how people are when they dump someone (i know you dumped him initially but then things got flip turned upside down) which is a little bit cold aloof and guarded. combined with not wanting to fall out or carry on arguing or discussing it, some people just shut down and ignore things they dont want to deal with. Plus the fact he's in a relationship and probably feels conflicted about carrying on talking to you, thinking it a betrayal to his new gf. Go NC move on and re establish a much more low key, but much healthier and more balanced friendship in 6months-1year if you still want to by that point. Also, no he doesn't owe her anything, just like you dont owe your friends anything, you can one day decide, well, we fell out over something so im not going to talk to this person again, and that's ok too, but depending on the argument you had it's pretty extreme/bizarre attitude. Without terminal offence being given about something id have a hard time not giving a crap about someone i'd just been decent friends with for 5 years let alone in a relationship with for that long. Yeah, it was hard not to act like we were still boyfriend/girlfriend every time we're together. He was my best friend and part of my family and I was his, part of his. We get along so well, even the last time I saw him, he poured me a drink asking me if I wanted a drink, and he even noticed out of everyone that I was looking for the bathroom but it was locked and he actually ran all the way from the BBQ just to get me in the bathroom. He does small things like that to show he cares but I guess you're right, it would be a betrayal to his GF if he continued talking to me. He was even at one point like "I'm trying to see someone." And I remember that moment, I just dropped on my knees and sobbed for hours. When we sat down though and had a long talk, he kept bringing up all this negative bull**** that happened in the relationship. I don't know why he felt the need to bring up the past when I wanted to ask him some questions regarding his "GF wanting to work things out" (His GF was my childhood best friend/grew up together) with me which I thought was elfin weird because what's the point of being friends when she hasn't been one to me?
Author greenfairie Posted November 7, 2013 Author Posted November 7, 2013 Thank you guys for all the support and comments. I read each one of your answer.. My head's all over the place at times, so it's good to get clear perspective from other people.
Author greenfairie Posted November 7, 2013 Author Posted November 7, 2013 When I met up with my ex just to catch up, there was nothing needed to be hashed out I felt because he wasn't my boyfriend anymore. I just wanted to ask him about why his GF wants to hang out with me and make up with me, knowing I already found out they're together and that I don't ever want to be friends. He kept bringing up all this crap I did during the relationship that bothered him a lot. He made me feel so bad about not doing this, like for example, he was like I know you flirted with these guys and this and that. I'm thinking like wow…Where was all this anger when we were together? And that was at the beginning of the relationship but I thought we moved on from it…. Apparently he didn't. But why did he feel the need to bring up the past SOOO much!? He wouldn't even let me have a word in, he would keep his hand in my face saying "Listen to me.. Let me finish talking then you can talk." By the time it's my turn to talk, I forgot everything I just wanted to say because this ****ing prick just told me to shut the **** up. Why are some exes this angry?! 1
strive Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 I'd love to know the answer to this too. Before I blocked mine from social media, he put up quotes and songs about breaking his heart, calling me a whore and cheater (I never cheated on him), and missing me, and essentially just being angry as if he was the jilted lover in the scenario. **** him, he dumped me. He doesn't have any right to play the pity card. 2
McMike Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 When I met up with my ex just to catch up, there was nothing needed to be hashed out I felt because he wasn't my boyfriend anymore. I just wanted to ask him about why his GF wants to hang out with me and make up with me, knowing I already found out they're together and that I don't ever want to be friends. He kept bringing up all this crap I did during the relationship that bothered him a lot. He made me feel so bad about not doing this, like for example, he was like I know you flirted with these guys and this and that. I'm thinking like wow…Where was all this anger when we were together? And that was at the beginning of the relationship but I thought we moved on from it…. Apparently he didn't. But why did he feel the need to bring up the past SOOO much!? He wouldn't even let me have a word in, he would keep his hand in my face saying "Listen to me.. Let me finish talking then you can talk." By the time it's my turn to talk, I forgot everything I just wanted to say because this ****ing prick just told me to shut the **** up. Why are some exes this angry?! I think he kept it all in during the relationship so you two could have a chance. He wanted to just let it go and not dwell on it. But now that it's over, he's finally letting all his thoughts out. And obviously he's still not over you. Let him rant, don't say anything, he'll be good soon. I did the same too. 1
Riou Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 Since you are the dumper,how you broke up with him should be a reason why he is angry also.Anger don't always mean love.Anyone will be angry when they feel treated unfairly and blindsided. 1
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