Karsen Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 My ex recently broke up with me and told me that we are never going to be together ever again, and that he will never love me. (I've been destroying his test but that's another story) He's usually very very hard headed and stubborn and sticks to his word. The night he told me that, he stayed so I wouldn't hurt myself (I've had self harm issues) and made sure I went to my classes the next day. He slept on the floor next to my bed and his reason for not being on the bed is because that's something couples do. Yesterday he came over because I had bought him his favourite dinner and given him a new game he had been wanting. (He's late 20s just FYI lol) He came over and things were a bit awkward, but he was a lot nicer and made jokes, and ended up sleeping in the bed with me. We also had sex.. But this time it was different. He usually would only do it with me lying on my stomach and I would sometimes get upset we never faced eachother or did other positions. We did all these different positions, and facing eachother like he used to not like. What does this mean?? Does this mean he's giving me another chance? I would like to believe he is. I would hope he still cares about me an isn't just messing with my feelings, because he's not like that.
Grumpybutfun Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 It means he was paying for dinner and his game. You have turned him into a prostitute. Way to go. Grumps 2
CarrieT Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 What does this mean?? It means nothing other than the fact that you let him use you. Does this mean he's giving me another chance? Only in your imagination. I would like to believe he is. I would hope he still cares about me an isn't just messing with my feelings, because he's not like that. He doesn't give one iota about your feelings in that regard. He was thinking with his dick. 1
strive Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 Means he's experimenting and wants to try everything he wants (which he has been reluctant to do before) since he won't know when's the next time he'll get laid. 2
Fufu Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 My ex recently broke up with me and told me that we are never going to be together ever again, and that he will never love me. (I've been destroying his test but that's another story) He's usually very very hard headed and stubborn and sticks to his word. The night he told me that, he stayed so I wouldn't hurt myself (I've had self harm issues) and made sure I went to my classes the next day. He slept on the floor next to my bed and his reason for not being on the bed is because that's something couples do. Yesterday he came over because I had bought him his favourite dinner and given him a new game he had been wanting. (He's late 20s just FYI lol) He came over and things were a bit awkward, but he was a lot nicer and made jokes, and ended up sleeping in the bed with me. We also had sex.. But this time it was different. He usually would only do it with me lying on my stomach and I would sometimes get upset we never faced eachother or did other positions. We did all these different positions, and facing eachother like he used to not like. What does this mean?? Does this mean he's giving me another chance? I would like to believe he is. I would hope he still cares about me an isn't just messing with my feelings, because he's not like that. This just means at any time, he can have sex with you and he doesn't even need to be committed to you. Oh wow, what a good deal for him. 1
emz23 Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 Why did he break up with you? I think that might affect whether the others are right and he was just using you for sex
Zahara Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 He usually would only do it with me lying on my stomach and I would sometimes get upset we never faced eachother or did other positions. We did all these different positions, and facing eachother like he used to not like. Hmm...this struck me. I had an ex that would only have sex with me this way. We dated for about a year and when he had to face me (missionary), he would turn his head and close his eyes. After we broke up, I slept with him a few times and he was then more focused on making eye contact and was even doing it with his eyes open and actually smiling and talking to me while having sex. I found it odd. During a therapy session (after we broke up), I casually mentioned this to the therapist. I'm not sure how much of this is true but she noted that men who are emotionally broken/unavailable fear intimacy, one of their traits is to avoid eye contact when being intimate. Sex is a mechanical act. Looking into each others eyes creates a strong emotional bond between two people during the process of love making. When a guy would rather look at the back of your head, he's discouraging and avoiding creating any sort of emotional bonding. Almost like having sex with a faceless object. When the relationship ended my ex was more comfortable having sex with me in terms of gazing in my eyes and actually enjoying sex because the fear of intimacy and bonding was non-existent in his mind. The relationship was over and as she said, he felt "unchained". True or not, I believe he is just having sex with you and using you. And don't buy stuff for him to win him over. You asked if he still cares for you? He just told you he will never love you. 3
crederer Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 Well I'm the guy in your scenario with my ex. I've done the same thing, told her straight up, no chance ever of getting back together. She still has sex with me, though. She hasn't bought me anything so maybe you can give me some pointers as to how I can score that. If a guy tells you there is no chance at all of reconciliation, then I'd take his word. And the sex has gotten a little crazier with us. Don't really know why, maybe she's trying to get me back by doing some crazy stuff....
lindsay1990 Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 Hmm...this struck me. I had an ex that would only have sex with me this way. We dated for about a year and when he had to face me (missionary), he would turn his head and close his eyes. After we broke up, I slept with him a few times and he was then more focused on making eye contact and was even doing it with his eyes open and actually smiling and talking to me while having sex. I found it odd. During a therapy session (after we broke up), I casually mentioned this to the therapist. I'm not sure how much of this is true but she noted that men who are emotionally broken/unavailable fear intimacy, one of their traits is to avoid eye contact when being intimate. Sex is a mechanical act. Looking into each others eyes creates a strong emotional bond between two people during the process of love making. When a guy would rather look at the back of your head, he's discouraging and avoiding creating any sort of emotional bonding. Almost like having sex with a faceless object. When the relationship ended my ex was more comfortable having sex with me in terms of gazing in my eyes and actually enjoying sex because the fear of intimacy and bonding was non-existent in his mind. The relationship was over and as she said, he felt "unchained". True or not, I believe he is just having sex with you and using you. And don't buy stuff for him to win him over. You asked if he still cares for you? He just told you he will never love you. This is pretty weird, indeed. Now that I think about it, my ex hardly made eye contact in bed either. Was more of an eye-closer. What you guys describe sucks though. I would be feeling really insecure about that. Come to think of it, my ex was deathly quiet too, maybe just like most guys but it made me think that maybe the neighbours would think I was just masturbating alone in the apartment haha It didn't bother me though, I just wished for more eye contact.
Mariposa10 Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 Hmm...this struck me. I had an ex that would only have sex with me this way. We dated for about a year and when he had to face me (missionary), he would turn his head and close his eyes. After we broke up, I slept with him a few times and he was then more focused on making eye contact and was even doing it with his eyes open and actually smiling and talking to me while having sex. I found it odd. During a therapy session (after we broke up), I casually mentioned this to the therapist. I'm not sure how much of this is true but she noted that men who are emotionally broken/unavailable fear intimacy, one of their traits is to avoid eye contact when being intimate. Sex is a mechanical act. Looking into each others eyes creates a strong emotional bond between two people during the process of love making. When a guy would rather look at the back of your head, he's discouraging and avoiding creating any sort of emotional bonding. Almost like having sex with a faceless object. When the relationship ended my ex was more comfortable having sex with me in terms of gazing in my eyes and actually enjoying sex because the fear of intimacy and bonding was non-existent in his mind. The relationship was over and as she said, he felt "unchained". True or not, I believe he is just having sex with you and using you. And don't buy stuff for him to win him over. You asked if he still cares for you? He just told you he will never love you. Hmm, turns out I'm afraid of intimacy then (I think I'm getting better though!), and my ex wasn't, but then again he has many serious relationships in the past unlike me...
thembones Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 I tried a FWB relationship but it ended badly. She would stay over and it was basically like we were together again... Sex, cuddling, sleepover, goodbye kiss, etc. it got too much and I couldn't do it anymore if we weren't together, even though I loved it. I say cut it off and be done, if you aren't going to be together.. Give it time and space and then see where it goes.
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