testing987 Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 Hi all, I'm in mid 20s and run a successful company. I was rejected by my employee (late 20s). I asked her why and she said she cannot sleep with her boss because it will ruin the team. She wants to grow and stay with the company for the long haul. I asked again if this is the real reason and she said yes. Is this something a woman will do? I'm not sexy or handsome but I'm funny and could be cute to someone. I know this is vain but I'm a millionaire and able to and willing to wow my love with anything. I don't spend a lot of money on myself but I enjoy showering gifts to people who I love. Her financial situation is pretty bad because she owes $40k in student debts and working at an entry position with zero savings and living pay cheque to pay cheque. I mean I could help her so much like help to pay for her rents, phone bills, debts, and etc... I feel like I have so much to offer to her not just emotionally but materially as well. I just don't understand. I can accept it if someone turns me down because they just don't like me; no problem because you can't force attraction. Is this boss thing really an issue or she's just being nice? I'd rather her tell me "you are not my type" so I could get over with this...
d0nnivain Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 You are out of your mind if as the boss / owner of the company you date an employee. You will lose your company when the employee files a sexual harassment suit against you after you break up. If you don't know what the phrase "don't sh !t where you eat" means, learn it. Then be grateful your employee is smarter than you are. 2
Grumpybutfun Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 (edited) Hi all, I'm in mid 20s and run a successful company. I was rejected by my employee (late 20s). I asked her why and she said she cannot sleep with her boss because it will ruin the team. She wants to grow and stay with the company for the long haul. I asked again if this is the real reason and she said yes. Is this something a woman will do? I'm not sexy or handsome but I'm funny and could be cute to someone. I know this is vain but I'm a millionaire and able to and willing to wow my love with anything. I don't spend a lot of money on myself but I enjoy showering gifts to people who I love. Her financial situation is pretty bad because she owes $40k in student debts and working at an entry position with zero savings and living pay cheque to pay cheque. I mean I could help her so much like help to pay for her rents, phone bills, debts, and etc... I feel like I have so much to offer to her not just emotionally but materially as well. I just don't understand. I can accept it if someone turns me down because they just don't like me; no problem because you can't force attraction. Is this boss thing really an issue or she's just being nice? I'd rather her tell me "you are not my type" so I could get over with this... Let me put it to you this way, assuming you aren't a troll and are from a developed country, because any boss would know this...if you keep pursuing her, and she feels uncomfortable, expect yourself to be brought in front of your boss/ the courts if owner for sexual harassment. Bosses do not date the people who work for them because it is forbidden by most companies. Why is it forbidden? You have a position in the company which allows you to hold your power over her head and if you abuse that power by suggesting dates, or trysts, it is seen as coercion. Yes, wrong. How did you get this job as a boss making millions? I am perplexed by your ignorance of workplace ethics. I also want to know where you work because if you are making millions, I could take your job easily and make billions. Shaking Head, Grumps Edited November 6, 2013 by Grumpybutfun 3
Author testing987 Posted November 6, 2013 Author Posted November 6, 2013 (edited) Hi Grumpybutfun and d0nnivain, Thank you for your helpful and frank advices. This is Internet so it is up to you to believe my story or not. To be honest with you, I never seriously considered the things you talked about. I'm an entrepreneur so I don't really understand office politics since my last job was a summer job I had when I was a teen. I really didn't know this is such a serious topic. Maybe posting here woke me up about the hash reality. I posted an honest question. While you might considered it as "stupid" or "ignorant", was it really necessary to launch a personal attack against me over this? This is a love advice forum, shouldn't we try to be loving to each others' and help each others' out? Edited November 6, 2013 by testing987 1
d0nnivain Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 I really don't know this is such a serious topic. Maybe posting here woke me up. If you are truly a millionaire & hope to keep your fortune, call your lawyer in the morning. Make an appointment with him/her & pose this Q to the lawyer. While you are there, ask the lawyer to draft an employee handbook for your business. If you are too penny wise & pound foolish to pay for those legal service, google employee handbooks on the internet & read the sexual harassment sections. Also Talk to your friends who work in corporate.
2sunny Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 Date outside your company. Learn it now - it will save you heaps of trouble while working. Meet a gal somewhere else - work is for work. If you date - it's likely to distract you from your purpose while working. Same advice whether you do or don't have money. 1
Author testing987 Posted November 6, 2013 Author Posted November 6, 2013 (edited) Date outside your company. Learn it now - it will save you heaps of trouble while working. Meet a gal somewhere else - work is for work. If you date - it's likely to distract you from your purpose while working. Same advice whether you do or don't have money. Thank you 2sunny for giving me a positive advice instead of threats or personal attacks. I just didn't know asking someone once is considered as sexual harassment. Edited November 6, 2013 by testing987
CarrieT Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 Is this boss thing really an issue or she's just being nice? I'd rather her tell me "you are not my type" so I could get over with this... The "boss thing" is a HUGE issue. Don't date within your company - it ruins the dynamic of a positive work team. By thinking of the material benefits you could provide this girl, it sounds like you are setting up a scenario that is rife with mis-understandment and tantamount to prostitution. Date outside the workforce and don't even consider those you work with. Ever.
Author testing987 Posted November 6, 2013 Author Posted November 6, 2013 (edited) The "boss thing" is a HUGE issue. Don't date within your company - it ruins the dynamic of a positive work team. By thinking of the material benefits you could provide this girl, it sounds like you are setting up a scenario that is rife with mis-understandment and tantamount to prostitution. Date outside the workforce and don't even consider those you work with. Ever. Thank you. I didn't mean it that way. I'm naturally a giving person so it is affects me when people around me are not doing well. I give to charity regularly and buy Christmas presents to random strangers on Kijiji or Craigslist who needed help every Christmas. I feel very guilty when I can buy things without much budgeting wheres she is struggling. Obviously, helping her is not appropriate. Maybe this thread was a mistake because I have became somewhat jaded after reading some of the comments. I treated all my people, men or women, with a caring, honest, and open heart. I genuinely care about each person. I feel bad whenever I have to assign boring but must-be-done tasks. I always give plenty of time for tasks because I don't want to stress my employees out. I never knew someone will or might sue me or harm me when I genuinely care for their well-being. 50% of my workforce works remotely. Maybe I should just ship all the jobs out of the country. It is not only cheaper, I won't have to deal with this BS of getting stabbed at the back. I sometimes think I don't have the ruthless to run a business because I care too much. You can call me BS but I have nothing to prove on a internet board. I came here for a simple question and got my answer. Edited November 6, 2013 by testing987
MalachiX Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 She's not into it because you're her boss and she's probably a little creeped out that you seem to want to buy her. Go back and read what you wrote. All the stuff about how much money you have and how much she needs money comes off as very wrong-headed.
Recommended Posts